UGM can develop very slowly and be imperceptible to those inside or outside of the group.
So what is an Unhealthy Group Mentality(UGM)?
Put simply, it is the behaviour and attitudes of any group which is likely to be damaging to those in the group.
How can UGM be prevented?
Always, always remember that you alone will be accountable for your actions on the Day of Judgment. As you have the sole accountability for yourself, so you should have the final say. Seeking advice is one thing, but letting others make decisions for you is another.
Allah gives people different blessings, some are visible, others are not. Whatever blessings someone may have, it does not necessarily indicate that they are a good person. Beware of assuming that someone is sinless just because of their status, knowledge or background. Only Allah knows the true reality of things.
Unless there is abuse or another type of dangerous situation , then any marital problems should be solved by both spouses, together. One spouse talking about problems, alone to an outside party, rarely results in a positive solution. You both are the experts on your marriage, not an outsider.
Step away from the fatwa websites. Unless you are seeking a solution to a specific religious query (e.g, does using toothpaste break my fast?), fatwa sites can be at best unhelpful and at worst destructive, if not actually dangerous.
This is because they encourage people to put their problems into the hands of people who do not know them personally, may come from a very different culture and cannot get an accurate insight into the situation from one letter or email.
Knowledge, religious or otherwise, does not equal wisdom. As consulting fatwa sites discourages personal responsibility, this is a dangerous practice.
Judge the situation, not the status of those involved in it. If the members of a group have numerous disputes, divorces or other fitna, they may not be as pious as they claim. Look at what people do, not what they say.
Keep a wide social circle, as this prevents isolationism and help maintain personal perspective.
Fake Dervish Held For ‘Raping’ Girls in Kashmir
Free Press Kashmir, Thursday, 11 Jul 2013
SRINAGAR: Police in Kashmir have arrested a fake dervish who allegedly raped young girls on the pretext of ‘purifying’ them, sources say.
Gulzar Ahmed Bhat, who went by the name ‘Syed Gulzar’, ran a residential institution for girls which offered a two-months course in Islamic studies in Khansahib area of Budgam district.
Sources say four students, all aged under 18, complained to the police that he indulged in sexual activities with them at the hostel.
According to the girls, the fake dervish would quote sayings in Arabic to justify his sexual activity with them.
“He would tell them that having sex with him was necessary to purify them of all evil,” a police officer told Freepress.
He said medical examination of the girls confirmed rape. Gulzar has been booked under section 376 of Ranbir Penal Code (rape).
‘Syed Gulzar’, who often gave advertisements in newspapers claiming to be a Sufi, also delivered sermons through local cable TV network in the valley.
Moulvi Muhammad Amin, the whistleblower in this case, says the fake preacher would manipulate verses of the Quran to motivate the girls into sex. He alleges that Gulzar has so far raped nearly 200 girls at the hostel.
“He would tell them that he receives divine knowledge and that all the earlier saints had prayed for his birth,” Amin, who is the president of the International Khatm-e-Nabuwat Movement (J-K chapter), told Freepress.
Amin has appealed to “all innocent people not to fall prey to these illiterate, fake religious men.”
Published: May 21, 2013
Updated:May 23, 2013
Tags: fake peer rapist arrested, kashmir latest news, syed gulzar arrested
SRINAGAR: A 42-year-old self-styled Sufi dervish Gulzar Ahmed Bhat was arrested on Wednesday by Jammu and Kashmir police for raping and sexually abusing several young girls at his religious centre, Khansahib in Budgam district.
Gulzar Bhat, who went by the name Syed Gulzar, ran a residential institution for girls which offered short duration courses in religious studies. The self-styled dervish used to promote himself on local TV channels and publish promotional advertisements in local newspapers.
The scandal came to light when one of Gulzar's disciples, Imtiyaz Ahmad Sofi saw him indulging in a sexual act with a young girl. Police said Gulzar was arrested after four girls recorded their confessional statement before the court of the sub-judge in Budgam on Tuesday.
Police said at his centre with over 500 girl students, the self-styled god-man had been repeatedly exploiting the girls sexually on the pretext of "purifying" them. The charlatan had employed a few women who would motivate the girls to please the godman.
SP Budgam Uttam Chand said that the police were looking for two of his close associates - Abdul Gani Ganaie and Bashir Ahmed Mir.
DSP Bashir Ahmad of Khansahib said that a local court on Wednesday remanded Gulzar Ahmed Bhat to police custody for 15 days to investigate the case. He said that medical examination of the victims had confirmed the allegations. "There is ample evidence to prove that the accused is involved in exploiting innocent girls. He is fully involved and there is no doubt about it," the police officers said.
The confessional recording of a victim reveals that Gulzar used to lure girls and women and later on with the help of his cronies assaulted them sexually. A victim from Pampore said that every new entrant was being persuaded and guided by a female employee Shakeela Bano of Lolipora. She claims that after her admission into Gulzar's religious centre, Shakeela took her in a room and advised her to serve 'Peer Sahab by heart if she wanted to get rid of her miseries.'
Another victim said: "Noor Mohammad, who served as Gulzar's Aamir-e-Aala, lured me to the centre. I was asked to enter 'Hujra-i-Pak' (Gulzar's personal chamber). As I entered, Molvi Gulzar ordered me to shut the door. He looked into my eyes and said, 'Marriage is not important for the propagation of religion. Wherever I will touch you that part of the body will not burn in Hell. Mein noor houn tum aag ho, noor aag say miley ga to poora noor ban jaey ga. Then he looked at me with scary eyes and I lost my conscience, my eyes were watching everything but my body was unconscious when he took me to bed."
A prominent local cleric Molvi Mohammad Amin said that scores of girls approached his organization World Khatme-Nubuwat Movement. "We were shocked after the girls made startling revelations." Molvi Amin alleged that Gulzar would "manipulate the verses of holy Quran to motivate the girls into sex."
Respected one,’ he smiled and his voice was nervous, ‘most kind one. Give me a sacred charm.’‘
"I’m sorry, I don’t have one.’‘
"Look at me. This work. This sun.’ He was still smiling.
‘I’m very sorry. Hoda Hafez, God be with you.’
I turned away and he grabbed me by the arm. I hit him with my stick. He backed off and we looked at each other. I hadn’t hurt him but I was embarrassed. But I could see that the man I’d hit wasn’t dangerous.
He was now smiling apologetically, ‘Please, sir, at least let me have some of your water.’
I poured some water from my bottle into his hands. He bowed to me, passed it in front ofhis lips and then brushed it through his hair.
‘And now a charm: a short one will be enough...’‘
"No, I’m sorry. I can’t.’
I couldn’t. I wouldn’t play the role of a holy man. ‘Hoda hafez.’
A hundred yards further on I looked back through the midday glare and saw him still staring at me. He had, it seemed, perhaps because I was walking in Pakistani clothes, mistaken me for whatNavaid would call a wandering Dervish.
We have to raise our intellectual level through scientific knowledge and rational ideas to get rid of superstitions
DR MUHMMAD AMIN MALIK
No matter which part of the world we visit, we will find the natives nurturing certain beliefs and superstitions and our Kashmir is no exception in this case. We too believe in fortune tellers, lucky charms, numerology, wearing bracelet, tying black thread on the wrist or neck. Eye twitching is very common here particularly among the women folk. It can be good or bad omen depending upon which eye is twitching. Itchy palms tell a person he is getting some money. Like the other people in the world, we too believe in ghosts, astrology and horoscopes etc.
But one of the most prevalent superstitions in Kashmir is visiting the wayward and fake Pirs, faith healers, imposters, for considerations like getting good luck, money, luxuries, treatment of diseases, getting rid of Jinn, begetting children and other divine blessings. Even people invite these fake dervishes to their houses and host them for weeks and months together. But in the guise of a dervish they usually deceive and rob them of money and exploit them. T
he recent shocking incident of a faith healer exploiting the innocent girls jolted the whole Kashmir Valley. This is not for the first time that such incident has occurred here, just a few months back a faith healer inflicted cruel act on a child in the Kangan area and in south Kashmir a minor girl was allegedly impregnated by a faith healer when the parents of the girl were staunch followers of the Pir. These incidents are going on, sometimes the culprits are caught and sometimes the matter is hushed up.
There might be thousands of such thugs in Kashmir in the garb of spiritual healers who resort to all sorts of exploitative methods to dupe gullible people. It is true that our women folk have more tendency to remain in search of clues and whereabouts of these fake Pir’s to seek divine blessings from them, who offer them solutions to their long cherished dreams and other problems. I have seen fake Pir’s coming to the houses for alms and when they look around and notice that there is nobody except the house lady, they immediately change their tune and make predictions about their good fortunes and in the process they extract things in cash and kind. In many cases, the family head arrives at the seen, after an exchange of hot words with the lady both the fake Pir and the house lady receive a severe beating. Such incidents clearly testify that superstitions and ignorance are deeply rooted in our society.
Way back a fake Pir or faith healer used to visit a village in Bandipora telling people about his magic power. I remember, in a big hall full with his followers, he was claiming that “I can touch the high tension power line of 33000 volts while sitting on the ground”. I was a student of 12th class then. For many days I became confused, asking myself how it is be possible. I pursued him for some time, for showing me this power atleast by touching a transformer wire, but he dodged me every time. The fake dervish used to prepare different colored liquids claiming to be the panacea for all ills. In a few days time he would return his home with full bag of money. Similarly I have seen fake Pir’s telling women and students that he has sent Jinn to search their answer scripts in Board and University buildings where it will affect the change in the marks and they will succeed in the examination.
Sheikh Saadi parable.
A king concerned about the welfare of many dervishes (sages, ascetics) residing in his domain gave his vizier money for distribution among them. The vizier returned a few days later with the money unused and said he could not find any dervish.
Annoyed, the king said that there were plenty. The vizier calmly explained,
“O’King, the real Dervishes wouldn’t touch the money and those who wanted it were phonies not dervishes so I didn’t give it to them.”