Hi,
At first I thought that you were talking about the group I belonged to for about 35 yrs. So similar it's amazing. Yet when you mentioned 9/11 I knew it was not the same group as by that time it was pretty much over, and of the people who left, I was the last to leave. There are only about 8 people involved with the "teacher" at this time.
I can't help but be curious about the group in which you speak.

AH was our Teacher
We were all married with children
Lived in Sonoma Co.
Had weekend meetings
We did not plan to move to Canada
We also did not consider ourselves a cult (it took a therapist to convince me)
High degree of guilt & shame
And last, but not least: it was a Gurdjioff (mispelled) system that we were being taught

So, let me know if you want to continue this discussion......many of us are in the midst of trying to figure out what it and I was all about. I chose to "study" with, no one forced me. It was my will.