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Kasia must have been quite a student if she came here to study from a small village several hundred kilometers from Krakow and started her studies at the Agricultural University, at the department of horticulture. It was 1995. She was staying with her aunt.

Unfortunately, she failed - after the first year she failed the botany exam. As she had quite serious health problems while still in high school, she went on sick leave. She stayed in Kraków and worked at Mac'Donalds. After a year, she returned to her studies again, failed botany again and passed it only in the autumn session. On October 1, 1997, she moved out of her aunt's and moved into a double room with her family. Much further from the university, she also had worse access. She told her parents that she wanted to become independent. When she came home for Christmas in December of that year, she talked a lot about faith, quoted the Holy Scriptures, mentioned that she wanted to start studying at the Pontifical Academy of Theology. The fact that she had resigned from studies in horticulture not long ago, her parents found out only in January of the following year, when they received a letter from the AR Dean's Office. Immediately afterwards, in a telephone conversation, it turned out that Kasia, despite having abandoned her studies, decided to stay in Krakow. She also changed the address. When, after a few months, her mother visited her there, she saw that Kasia lived in a house where there was no bathroom, no hot water, and the toilet was outside. She also learned that Kasia had signed up for a year-long public relations course and was going to sell incense on the street from November. The girl stopped having contact with her aunt and did not come home either. Occasionally she would call or write a short letter. She often asked for money. She was sick a lot, she said it was colds. When a year later, at the end of October 1999, her mother visited her again with the intention of persuading her to return home, Kasia showed her the beads for chanting, saying that she was praying on them. She also admitted to being associated with the Chaitanya Mission. In November, she took a job as a cook in a printing house and soon moved into the Mission center. On Christmas Eve 1999, she called her aunt and said she was happy because she thought she had found her place in life.

By the end of the year, she lost her job at the printing house and after an absence of almost two years, in early January 2000, she came home. She gave her parents the impression of being mentally retarded. They got scared. A month later she came again. She was kind of scared, asking if everything was okay at home. She confessed to being kicked out of the Mission Center. Within an hour she had to pack up and leave. She returned to her old place. She came home to rest and sleep. Under the pretext that she wanted to finish her driving license course, she returned to Krakow. Later, she called home from a new place in Poland. As the notes indicate, her travels were related to the arrival of one of the masters from the United States. On April 1, she came back to her family home, she was tired and had a cold. After a few days she contacted one of the Mission Centers. Despite this, the parents managed to convince Kasia to stay at home. In June, she took a job in a nearby town, in a bookstore. Soon she began to fear something, she felt watched. In early August, she left for one of the Mission Centers. She came back reassured. She slept a lot. On August 21, she left for a reunion. In the evening she called home saying she was already there. On August 25, she called her father to wish him. On the morning of August 30, she called again, saying that she had left her backpack with her belongings and money at the center and was coming home herself. It would be in the evening. In the evening, a policeman called - Kasia was found hanged in a village 40 kilometers from her home. Due to the lack of evidence of third party involvement, the police discontinued the proceedings.


In Kasia's backpack, there was, among other things, a very carefully written statement: "I declare that my activities and personal involvement in the Institute of Identity Knowledge of the Chaitanya Mission is voluntary. I am willing to engage in various types of activities as much as it is possible for me to perform, because I see the need for help in spreading this type of activity. The main goal of the Institute of Identity Knowledge of the Chaitanya Mission is to offer people a relationship with God that leads to a happy and full life, without unnecessary suffering of various kinds. Each person considers his desires individually and has every right to follow them. I also follow my desire to help other people because I feel the need to do so.”


Under the name and surname, Kasia entered her ID card number. There was no date on the statement.

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...The whole problem is that there are leaders who try to be a copy of me and unfortunately they end up with psychological terror. I already have 3 such leaders in my collection. I don’t know if this doesn’t already apply to all the others who are also fighting for their position. They are constantly fighting for respect for themselves and trying to be a copy of Balakhilya das or me. And in reality they are only supposed to be a leader – a foreman. Why do they want to be some kind of religious authority? They are simply confused in their heads. And now either I will destroy it once and for all or there will be no leaders. I don’t need such leaders. What is happening, all these situations are simply “Corrigan not this way”. And these leaders create such a mood. Then everyone thinks that this is what it's all about and that spiritual life is about climbing up, over dead bodies.

Such a leader forces others to listen to him, considers himself an authority, thinks that sitting on vyasasana and teaching is what it's all about and is all about. Later, everyone stops doing anything, they just want to copy Balakhilya das, who when he comes to Poland for a retreat, doesn't put up posters, he just walks around, talks and instructs and sometimes rests a little, because speaking is a great effort (I know what an effort it is, especially when you're trying to say something well with maximum concentration). So it's either a cart or a ride. This is the cause of all the mess that started in MCz. Psychological terror.

This is what was written about in this article recently, that this person, when they considered someone a friend, confided in them, but a moment later the leader knew about it and this person was destroyed. I know this and I know that it's like this. Later, such leaders get on the pulpit and shout at this person from there when they don't like something and confuse it with what I do at meetings. So I'm announcing that from this meeting I won't do this anymore, I overestimated these people. I found out that when some people from abroad ask what happened at our last meeting, they get the answer that "Tapasya das scolded Madhava dasi, and at the previous meeting he scolded Bhava das, and at the previous meeting he didn't scold anyone". That's all they remember. That's all they come for, that's their version. Later they say - psychological terror.

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