Note:
Its best not to discuss diagnostic labels in a public place . Only a professional can assess this and such information is supposed to be confidential. Throwing labels around can mess up job prospects or ability to get health insurance.
Tips on jail. (Thirty years ago, I got arrested a lot when in the peace movement)
Its easy to lose items when one is an inmate in jail, especially stuff written on scraps of paper.
You may need to return and re gift him with your contact information.
There is a a very practical book by Dale Carson Wes Denham entitled Arrested: What to Do if Your Loved One is in Jail.
It provides detailed information for visitors. Including how important it is to have quarters to operate lockers where you place belongings.
According to Arrested, phone calls into and from jail cost a fortune. Be very, very prepared. And with plenty of change. If you pay by credit card, it may take a big chunk from your call. (Not only in jail, either. I once used a payphone for a 10 minute call.
Got a $30 charge on my credit card.
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www.google.com]
This isnt the first time that someone from a massively troubled family takes all blame on himself. Some such families have a favorite, the Family Hero/Heroine. And to take the blame, a Family Scapegoat
And, believe it or not, one can sometimes find descriptions/reviews of specific jails on yelp. Sometimes these give good info for visitors.
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What I remember most is how much certain people within this cult ENJOYED being cruel!
They reveled in the knowledge that in many ways, Butler set the tone for abuse and the vicious behavior he exhibited - that it was ok to be cruel and to instill fear in everyone, if certain things were not done, if certain rules were not followed.
There is a lot of stuff said about how human beings are innately compassionate.
The problem is, we have, underneath our compassion, another feature that is activated when we are in bad groups with tyrannical leaders.
Pack behavior. The worst kind of pack behavior.
Pack behavior comes to the fore when the advanced restraints of conscience and adult socialization are dissolved by being in a group and especially in a group centered on a pack leader, such as a guru.
There is a pleasure that comes from aggressive mob behavior.
In his book, Among the Thugs, journalist Bill Buford described two plus years living alongside British football hooligan gangs.
Buford, an ethical and thoughtful man, participated in their marches and riots. He discovered how likeable men, devoted to their families, pleasant company by themselves, morphed into brutes when in these mobs and did things that were incomprehensibly horrible.
And Buford tells how he himself found the violence of mob action to be pleasurable, and was surprised to find himself enjoying it so much.
Pack behavior. When a guru instigates pack bahavior at the expense of a scapegoated member or group, this, sorry to say, must feel enjoyable to those unleashed.
IT gives one more thing to feel ashamed of after leaving the group.
We are all capable of this pack mentality. Its the flip side of our being human and sociable.
Our danger and our glory.