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freeatlast!
I posted here a month ago but didn’t follow up on my info, the reason being that I still care deeply for the people in Sacramento(Uddhava dasi +). They took me in off the street, when I was addicted to alcohol and going nowhere, they took me into there home and gave me a chance at fixing my life, I don’t follow chris butler anymore, I know that he is a bad guru, he is misleading and way too secretive and tells his desciples to sleep with pistols under there pillow, I don’t doubt caras story of child abuse and brainwashing ,I think she is doing the right thing and I give her props for standing up to these people. Cris Butler takes people who are looking for god and exploits them, he is probably just a sad old man who got caught up in a world of power, he figured out that he can get what ever he wants just by telling people what they want to hear. But the bottom line for me is that when I was down and out and bumming on the streets, smoking meth and drinking myself to death, they took me in. When I was living at the Sac center, they treated me with more respect and understanding and compassion then anyone else in my entire life, and I am forever in dept to them. If any devotees from Sac are watching, I love you all so much but I can’t fallow this man, you know I have good reason not to trust him, and I think that you should start questioning his “mission”. Please, just open your mind to the possibilty that your entire life of devotion could be misplaced. I was only involved for 2 years and when I finally accepted this it was emotionally shattering, I can’t even describe the pain I felt, praying 8 hours a day with all of my heart and being, crying in my room because I knew it wasn’t true, because my spiritual master was just a salesman on TV.
Cara, you and you sister are awesome and you helped me in more ways then you’ll ever know, but not all devotees of butler are evil and melicious, some of them are the most beautiful kind hearted people you could ever imagine, I know you know this, that’s why it’s so painful, I’ve been watching this thread almost everyday and I think you and your sister and rama are probably the only ones worth reading, you’ve felt the sting of believing in a false guru, you said that all you wanted was to be pleasing, then I guess like me you realized that with butler this is impossible. I haven’t picked up my beads once since I left, I haven’t looked at my pictures of krsna but can’t bring myself to throw them away, I’ve been so fucked up in the head and I don’t know what to do, I love these people but I hate there guru.
What was it that helped you see that CB was not what the SOI/ Sac. meditation center wants you to believe he is? Did you have to follow him to stay there?