You see. I was here for almost 2 years purging so much past trauma and pain.
I acted like a crazy person many times who got me quite unpopular for good reasons.
It was a rather painful and slightly embarassing process. However those who held space for me helped me more than those who attacked my behavior.
I, was left to purge a very heavy chunk of hell stuck in me after decades of abuse.
And the person who is in charge of this forum did not kick me out.
I was left to look at the mess and not be punished for it.
I was allowed to become an adult spiritually instead of having a guru or some narcissists devotee throw you out for 3 years.
The kindergarten non sense does nothing for souls but FORCE them to act good because of a north korea spiritual system.
And those who thrive in such draconian institutions are kids on a spiritual level.
It is rare that a toddler will go brush their teeth or eat healthy without the parents’ supervision.
Yes the instructions of the Vedas do purify the heart and consciousness. And if that is the requirement to leave the material world, then mission accomplished.
However it does not allow for the soul to discover their own power, their own uniqueness.
Whenver one is motivated by fear alone, it is a sign of theynhave missed the real boat.
The SoI can be as scary of not more disturbing than the jungle the Vedas want to portect you from.
Why can’t all be like a Jesus who acts in the correct way without having someone hit them with a stick? Or to be in a big brother system.
Under the microspcope of guru and other devotees?
Why can’t we act like evolved beings without thinking is that going to be pleasing to god or guru? Or act in the right way so that the police does not arrest you.
Fearlessness in SoI is solely based on commiting crimes on the strength of worshipping deities and guru day and night.
But they would shake like a leaf if guru looks at them the wrong way.
They are not afraid of “sin” or “karma” because they think they are rightfuly situated.
So they are not even becoming as pure as they are supposed to because their guru is a rotten apple.
But then again, this is where those souls stand and this is the level they are at in this lifetime.
I still appreciate genuine devotees very much for their efforts to grow and help others.
I appreciate the kind hearts of many of them that I have never been able to find out there.
I just could no longer hang out with any of them because they can no longer distinguish between good and evil.
They cannot see that they are being, used, abused, misled…
And what good does all the austerities serve, if one is blind like this and they cannot hear the voice of truth in their hearts?
Pretty sad I would say. To think that you are so advanced and yet you have no vision.
It is sad that one must use the expression ignorance is bliss. They have missed the opportunity to enter a pure dimension without being treated like slaves.
All they know is that spiritual life is like walking on eggshells and that shaking in fear and anxiety is part of the program.

Dear Truth Wins-
I completely agree with your last post! Kudos for trying to escape that miserable group that did nothing but harm families.
And much respect for having the wisdom and the guts to follow your heart!

"Why can’t we act like evolved beings without thinking is that going to be pleasing to god or guru? Or act in the right way so that the police does not arrest you.
Fearlessness in SoI is solely based on commiting crimes on the strength of worshipping deities and guru day and night.
But they would shake like a leaf if guru looks at them the wrong way.
They are not afraid of “sin” or “karma” because they think they are rightfuly situated.
So they are not even becoming as pure as they are supposed to because their guru is a rotten apple.
But then again, this is where those souls stand and this is the level they are at in this lifetime."

Exactly !!!

EVERYONE in SOL are being mislead- consider the ramifications for such an evil guru....

Butler only ever wanted to be taken care of hand and foot- and the power and money that comes along with it- I wish more people can see this.
And with Tulsi now trying to get back into politics- its even more insane- but many are starting to see the evil behind her.
The Manchurian Cult Candidate needs to go back to a reg normal life-
it's what any good little Vaishnava wife should do, right?
NOT!

[www.youtube.com]

Below is a recent public but anonymous statement by one of the former polish SoI/SIF members about the behavior of the group's leaders in Poland right after Kasia Socha's suicide.

Quote

After she committed suicide on the Grunwald field during the retreat in Brodnica, as soon as this information reached Balakhilya Das, they made a meeting at his table during the meal and all the leaders with him cackled like pigs. They were glad that she committed suicide away from the retreat site, so it wouldn't hurt their mission.

We also know that at the same time, Ojaswi das, who at that time was perhaps not a regular member, but let's say a sergeant, knew Kasia personally, was friends, took care of Kasia for some time in Krakow and reacted to the information about Kasia's suicide with dejection.

VoxVeritasVita das thank you so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate it.
I truly feel that we are all at very different places in our lives and I too was one of those blind followers at one point.
But then again it was not truly that blind because from the moment I entered the path, I was bombarded by very extraordinary pehnom that made me believe 10000 % that it was all true.
I got truly trapped and to be honest, we were so clueless about what went on behind the scenes.
But let me tell you something. I was so blinded that I would have for sure called the people on this site demons. And never believed them.
As you know it, we were all slaves of the fear of offenses. Even if you doubted guru in your mind, you had to feel like crap.
It is really amazing how I thought butler is the most advanced person on the planet. And now I see that he is kind of like in high school.
They all are even though they are presented with rather advanced teachings compared to the Abrahamic religions.
The path of Bhakti encourages an abnormal level of tolerance and we often lose oir self respect in the process.
If you have zero self respect, then you are an open buffet for Narcissist vampires
who can smell you from miles away.
They can smell your wounds and weaknesses.
butler is a very complex personality and I am almost sure that he does beleive he is a Jesus figure.
Possibly because he wws made to believe so also by some supernatural tricks.
I will no longer go too deep on the esoteric side of things as it enrages many.
All I can tell you is that the SoI rabbit hole goes very deep.
The issue is that even when butler and his senior minions are gone, the devotees have been trained under the lunacy of butler.
I am not sure if they will be able to shake off the culture of slavery, fear and abuse.
By the way, I did more than try to escape. I actually crushed them personally.
Told them everything that is in here. And held them accountable for their lies and abuse.
I think they dream of having their sweet vengful deities to take care of me and take me out.
But when you stand on the side of the Truth, you fear neither life nor death.
Instead of being motivated by fear, we must be motivated by courage.

Truth wins Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Told them everything that is in here. And held
> them accountable for their lies and abuse.

It is impressive...

And where is all the money - some maybe here:

[www.mynewsdesk.com]

And worth to remind:

[forum.culteducation.com]

Quote
Vera City
Yoza, Nishiki, Reed, Gabbard are all BETA male types to Butler's ALPHA. Easy followers. Most followers, as pointed out by Indigo Arthur and others, were/are likable "good eggs". Unfortunately, most people have only a stereotypical view of cults. It's fiction. They can't all be cast like a horror film or Jim Jones docu-drama. Butler's cult is in some ways more insideous because it is not so overt. Members succumb to it's pleasant narcotic effect (by employing beautiful, ancient traditions). In the end, it is solely for Butler's self angrandizement. It is similar to the creature vespa (wasp) who keeps the host insect alive while laying eggs inside of the abdomen until the brood hatches. The host has no idea the wasp feeds off of it's own life force. In Butler's case, for years...

And this:

[forum.culteducation.com]

Quote
Vera City
As soon as I was accepted among the very reclusive and secretive followers I was taught that meditation is secondary to bhakti yoga, which is devotional service. Basically devotional service is whatever Chris Butler tells you to do, whether it is recruiting others or working in one of the factories which are owned by other followers.
There were regulations to be followed from everything to not wearing shoes in the house, to offerring all food and drink, altar worship, chanting for a few hours each day, listening to at least one lecture per day etc etc.(1) Charity or preaching was not encouraged at all. I was taught that women have the place of keeping the home, serving the husband and having babies
. Women who did not have husbands were told that this was due to their bad karma and that they needed to chant more. (2)It was never acceptable to ask questions or express any sort of doubt. The result of being disagreeable or independent about anything ranged from being fined to being publically humilated in front of the other followers or ostracised by those who are the only people that you are suppossed to be in contact with.

1. In Poland was different. Generally, the people who came were determined to sacrifice their personal or family lives. There were some incentives for marriage, but generally the leaders were single. Tusta Krisha das - a former sanjasin and married twice in Poland expressed the belief that when people get married, the commitment to the group decreases for 3 years. This could be seen as a subtle depreciation of the value of marriage, and the married as less serious. Then it changed a bit and Tusta was supposed to take up the subject at the retreat.
But different things were happening. One of the leaders, a married woman had an affair and divorced. Some say "BBC". Big black c*ck. Another former leader was suddenly seen with her fiancée on her lap.

In the 1990s, the aversion to marriage was illustrated by a situation where a couple of devotees were seen embracing in a park and it became a social scandal and sensation.

In turn, some who got married and then left the group were seen in the park more than once and each time with another woman.

Life in Poland was much more difficult. While the years 1995 -> 1999 saw an influx of capital due to political changes, the economic crisis began in 1999. Where only accession to the European Union raised the standard of living.

The focus of the leaders was on teaching, going out, outreaching. There was no emphasis on charity in the 1990s, although there was involvement in "charity" events, such as WOSP, where, for example, several thousand portions of free food were cooked in a military unit, etc. In the 2000s, there were regular actions to feed the homeless, but not very respected by leaders. The guru never mentioned it or contacted them. He praised a music band from Ukraine.

2. No questions - against basic rule from Bhagavad Gita - "ask questions".



Edited 6 time(s). Last edit at 12/09/2022 06:39PM by Culthusiast.

With these social actions, of course, there were nice and funny situations. When vegetarian bigos was being cooked in a military unit, several thousand portions for WOSP, an annual charity event, a soldier, lieutenant came to the cooks to check if the social activists from the cult are to steal something from the military kitchen or to destroy something.

One of the friendly devotee-chefs was in charge. The lieutenant came in and at the same time the devotee-chef shouted to the cooks "move, move guys". The boys reacted and the lieutenant was to look with great respect...

A few minutes later they had to pour one big pot of over-salted cabbage through the bread racks. Boots in cabbage soup.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/09/2022 06:56PM by Culthusiast.

There is one thing I am not sure I can forgive myself for. Not having the vision to see that my so called god brother and sisters were getting abused by butler.
And as I said it before, my own abuse is rather healed after the massive purge.
I remember that poor woman who is one of the most dedicated servant. She would walk around with Eczema blisters and itching her skin all the time.
She had no time to take of herself nor to even care about herself. All that mattered was bliss. Pleasing guru and deities.
In exchange of the promise of liberation after death. And the supernatural phenom such as the diety winking at her in the picture.
She went from being a pothead to a blisshead.
I am pretty sure that she alone has saved the slave master, 700 K dollars in slaray over arounnd 23 years or so.
It is amazing the things people do for spiritual happiness. Just for an emotion, you are ready to suffer so much?
It is sad they have never truly grasped the nature of this reality and the manipulations.
They have never sat down and analized the masochism behind the worship that is required from them.
I feel sad for all those who have trembled in fear of messing up any of the 500 kitchen or laundry rules.
For those (myself included) who have guilt tripped ourselves for having commited offenses against a bunch of losers and narcissists.
The things human would do to avoid pain and to gain some happiness is unbelievable.
Krishna consciousness. What an elaborate and genius path. Hats off to the unseen designers. If it was meant to help, they really messed up big time.
I think the funniest experience I have had, is an ex devotee friend who went from Krishna to Christ.
She told me : “We are god’s slaves”. But now her slavery is more relaxed. She leads a very normal and free life. However she has surrendered to another program.
She wanted to almost brainwash me into accepting Jesus as my savior. These people think that such decisions are as easy as ordering a pie at a restaurant.
This is why I let her go too. She unknowingly bought another “savior” program.
There are many more things that I know that is not appropriate to share in here.
But my message to all, is that you have been scammed. Not only by butler, who himself has been scammed. You have been scammed by all religious programmings.
I am not denying that there is quite a bit of positives in all of them. I myself will alwasy be grateful for all that I got from these programs.
It is quite sad that souls have accepted to be treated like dogs in an obedience school.
Find normal that butler says that he keeps his disciples on a tight leash and that the neckbeads are the dog collar.
How much is bliss worth? Is it worth having a mentally ill abuser walk you on a leash?
How much is liberation worth? Is it worth losing your mental and physical health?
Or at times death by suicide because guilt took over?
As I write all these with emotional distancing, I still feel sad that I cannot truly free hostages who are in love with their captors.
A human trafficking free labor ring in the guise of devotional service.
People who end up with anorexia. Their bones show but they are not willing to admit that they have been pushed beyond their limits.
Love, the most costly emotion on earth. And if you can’t get it from god and humans, you can always get a dog.
Is Bhakti yoga truly worth crawling like a dog in front of drug dealing and money laundering brahmans.
Or a guru who calls you asshole and slut. Pushes you to deal drugs in order to book the whole business class to avoid germs.
I guess for some it is worth it.
We usually dig our own graves. And Krishna consciousness is a very attarctive one.
We watch our own funerals while we are still alive.
Devotees look so happy and alive, but they are now nothing more than programmed robots. Robots who cannot think nor decide for themselves.
Walking around and chasing bliss like surfers who chase the Maverick waves.
Tulsi must take the bullets of hatred on social media because she trusted a person who is not trust worthy.
You cannot deprogram robots who’s consciousness has been highjacked. And it is futile to try and help them.
But there is a special place in hell for those who have orchestrated the exploitation of souls. Whatever hell is for lack of a better word.
Devotees see their lives as a forunate romance. I look at it like an unfortunate tragedy.
And this is all because they wanted to feel emotions such as bliss, happiness and peace.
Give up one addiction for another.
For a fantasy spiritual sky lala land that noone knows if it truly exists.
I guess this is truly the greatest gamble anybody can take on a soul level.
To sell your soul to a criminal guru like butler so that you secure a ticket to krishna loka.
Safe tarvels friends!

According to one of the latest public but anonymous testimonies of one of the Polish members in the years 2006-2009 in Russia in Altai, entire centers, i.e. supporters along with the buildings of "Chaitanya Mission" left Chris Butler Siddhaswarupananda and transformed into "Gaudiya Math" and it was independent from the events in Poland, i.e. the departure of several people. He was to find out about it a few years later when he was in India. For these people, it was supposed to be a traumatic experience and they didn't want to talk about it anymore.
Johny Baldwin Midgett, Balakhilya das must have known about it but hid it from the Polish community. Or at least ordinary sheep.
This can explain a lot. This explains the reluctance to Gaudiya Math, accusations of aggressive behavior during lectures, "decentralization" of the Mission in Poland (there were no presidents, treasurers and secretaries, but chairmen, treasurers and secretaries of the centers, and in practice it was the leaders and treasurers who ruled and above all - Tapasya das) and related property movements - real estate in Poland were to be sold and the money transferred to the head office, etc.
The Russian branch of "Mission" was to be transferred to Kazakhstan.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/13/2022 09:21PM by Culthusiast.

If you go through "Kitchen Policies" then look at "GENERAL G15" on Ekadasi. The housekeeping staff was to leave notes separately for Chris Butler and Wai Lana about it. 2 days before, 1 day before and on Ekadasi day. Apparently they didn't want to remember it themselves. And from this it can be inferred that seriousness in carrying out the sacrifices or fasts of their faith was not their central concern.