Well, regardless what Butler's group gave you the impression about, this is the goal of this group. They feel all other rasas are subpar to this relationship with the blue god and it's a focal Prayojana of the teachings. So much so that in his Krishna Samhita writings, Bhaktivinode describes any lesser aim as "ass-like". [bhaktivinodainstitute.org
The rasa of conjugal affection is described as "topmost". So let me ask you something, hypothetically, because I think all this is a load of nonsense: If the top most rasa is Manjari Bhava, then naturally all others are "second place". What to speak of if it is revealed to you that you are but a mere grain of sand in Vraja. Then what? Is that not a big drawback? To know that the most intimate relationship one can have with the blue god is to serve in the role of a Manjari and help the divine couple in their "loving pastimes", yet here you are, a grain of sand for eternity. Let's say you're lucky, and it's revealed to you that you are a gopa (literally a cowherder farm boy—not much creativity in Goloka is there?) or in the mood of Yoshoda or a servant on the side lines. If your rasa is revealed to you, and all are equal in their value, then why call out Gopi bhava as top-most? Why create that hierarchy? Why call other rasas lesser? In fact Bhaktivinode minces no words in calling anything below that goal as "ass-like devotees".
But yes, sorry you missed the memo, that is the ultimate goal and offering of the Gaudiya lineage. That is what their acharyas promote and both Bhaktivinod and his Son, Bhaktisiddhanta, were given Siddha Pranali wherein they are told/revealed by their guru what their eternal gopi form is (whispered into your ear usually with minor details explaining your daily routine with regards to your service to the divine moieties). So, you know, put that in yer pipe and smoke it for all it's worth.
I argue that regardless of that, it's equally delusional to pretend that you are a mother to god, a boy buddy or a peacock feather for that matter. There is no rational way to experience such states without completely fooling yourself. Sahajiya babjis do it by dressing as gopis and rolling on the ground wailing tears of separation from their lord and Bhaktisiddhanta did it by being stoic and imagining such things in his mind.
I further ask, how exactly, besides your guru "telling/revealing" it to you does this get revealed to you? Is it over breakfast? How often do you stay in this state of awareness of your "true form/swarup"? Is it 24/7—shit that would be a mild disturbance would it not? Or do you have to wait till you die and then there is some waiting room you wake up in and get the good news (Spirit soul #222,1112,2344, you are the lucky recipient of a, wait for it! The body of a prepubescent farm girl!!!)? Is it revealed to you in English? Dutch? Sanskrit? Bengali? or do you just sort of get born into a Golaka farming cowherd community and it's all natural-like?
You see, these things are never specified. As usual, scriptures make generalized blanket statements that feel good on the surface and seem to make sense, but upon scrutiny, your guess is as good as Butler's and his Guru's gurus guru.
Hence, this leads me to abandon such highly unnatural and foolish idealization. I may not like suffering in the material world and I may agree that material life has it's ups and downs, but that is all not reason enough for me to completely abandon all forms of logic to live in a complete delusional fantasy.
Again, my 2¢. If it works for you and you honestly feel like this is not the top most offering of this cult that they hardly ever mention and reveal—especially in the butler group—then I don't really know what else to tell you. You missed the point.
I recall how when I was young, my male friends in the cult would imagine that they were Sakhas in their eternal pastimes with Krishna. Naturally, they were boys, this appealed to them. Think how disappointing it must feel when they die and wake up as a mere flip flop of Nanda Maharaj. Same with the women in the cult—naturally they were all gopis or in the mood of mother Yashoda. You know, we were all told that Tusta was a cowherd boy and Katyayani was in the mood of Mother Yashoda. What if I told you Katyayani was in the mood of a necklace Krishnas buddy rarely uses and Tusta, well, Tusta never made it to Goloka, his lot is to be a Yak fan in Vaikuntha... for eternity.
You see, you may blame me for having a "mundane" understanding of all this and that it is a perverted reflection etc etc. But all these concepts are based on human ideas of love, attachment, relationship etc. Why is that some rules that define material life and physics apply to these ideas, but then others do not and all of a sudden become "off-limits" or transcendental and beyond the conception of the human mind? I certainly can wrap my head around the assorted relationships one can have with divinity, I'm just asking for more specifics. So why is that upon further examination and discussion these things are all of a sudden a mystery? It's either all a mystery or it's not. And if it is so beyond reproach and questioning, then why even mention it at all?
Have fun guys. Have a blessed day and intense revelations.
And when you have a lucid moment, RUN.