I am looking for a spouse or former spouse of a member of the MDI or a former member themselves. I am a spouse of a current member of MDI and I have a few questions. I am trying very hard to get my husband out of this and hearing current stories can only help me. How closely is this organization to Sterling Institute and is all the stuff that I have been reading about Sterling Institute also happen to MDI members. I have told him that I will leave him if he does not stop this group. He is all of a sudden telling me that I can quit my job and he will make more then enough for the both of us. Is this something he is being taught. I can't help think that it is a way of controlling me, if I don't have income then I will most likely not leave him. Please, if anybody can give me their experiences that I would greatly appreciate it.

See [board.culteducation.com]

And see [board.culteducation.com]

Use the search feature to find more information about Sterling at this message board.

Also see [www.culteducation.com]

Thank You Moderator. I have done research on Sterling, but what I am really looking for is current personnel experience from former members of MDI. If anyone has anything to comment on please do so.

Nothing has changed at Sterling.

It is run the same way and I receive the same complaints.

The information is current.

Also, you might try posting on an existing Sterling thread. People will then be notified and possibly respond.

I am a current member of MDI. It s not affiliated with Sterling. ALthough there are many men who had been involved with the Sterliing institute some time ago and many men still support its work, MDI as an organization has severed its ties with the Sterling Institute.



I'd be curious to hear what your concerns are. MDI does not attempt to teach men anything. It is simply a collective circle of men from all walks of life where men have the opportunity to speak candidly with other men and get their support or feedback. At best it is a place where other men will hold a mirror to a man so he can see how he is being perceived in the world. There is no dogma in the organization and certainly not a party line that women should just stay at home and let their men support them. I have been married 19 years and my wife has and does work. For a while she actually outearned me, not an easy task for someone making mid six figures. I question whether your husband is hiding behind MDI as a way to validate his beliefs. I have had experiences with men who hear one thing in a circle and either reject it out of hand or twist it to suit their world view. It is no different than only paying attention to the news that supports your bleif system.

I will offer one piece of advice, men tend not to respond well to ultimatums. telling your husband you will leave him if he doesn't quit MDI or do anything for that matter, usually just entrenches him and he stops listening. Besides, I just don't get why you would feel threatened by having your husband have a place where he honestly address whatever challenges he is facing --- even if they are related to his marriage. If you are up for it and I would welcome a chance to have a dialoouge -- via his web -- about your concerns.

Living life large with passion and heart.

duxdeluxe:

You seem to be here to defend Sterling and MDI.

You are posting at another thread largely defending Justin Sterling and his privately owned for-profit company Sterling Institute for Relationship.

See [forum.culteducation.com]

Sterling has a notorious history of bad press and complaints.

See [www.culteducation.com]

You say, "Men tend not to respond well to ultimatums. telling your husband you will leave him if he doesn't quit MDI or do anything for that matter, usually just entrenches him and he stops listening. Besides, I just don't get why you would feel threatened by having your husband have a place where he honestly address whatever challenges he is facing --- even if they are related to his marriage. If you are up for it and I would welcome a chance to have a dialoouge."

First of all, it appears that you are willing to blame the wife, but not MDI.

And you describe MDI as "a place where he honestly address[es] whatever challenges he is facing" including "his marriage."

But MDI is not qualified as a professional third party to address this man's personal problems and/or marriage. MDI is not professional counseling, as correctly provided by a licensed marriage and family therapist, clinical psychologist, etc.

And it is presumptuous of you to offer yourself in any "dialogue" regarding this couple's problems. As a MDI member you are biased.

MDI, based upon your responses here, may fall under some of the four warning signs of a potentially dangerous mass marathon training or LGAT program.

See [www.culteducation.com]

1. Leaders had rigid, unbending beliefs about what participants should experience and believe, how they should behave in the group. and when they should change.

2. Leaders had no sense of differential diagnosis and assessment skills, valued cathartic emotional breakthroughs as the ultimate therapeutic experience, and sadistically pressed to create or force a breakthrough in every participant.

3. Leaders had an evangelical system of belief that was the one single pathway to salvation.

4. Leaders were true believers and sealed their doctrine off from discomforting data or disquieting results and tended to discount a poor result by, "blaming the victim."

RRModerator,

Thanks. You have confirmed for me that MDI is most definitely not a LGAT. We do not come close to any of those four warning signs. I'd be suprised if you put 10 MDI men in a room and got them to agree to anything other than how much fun it is to be able to be in a room with 10 other men and just argue away.

Living life large with passion and heart.

duxdeluxe:

Based upon your statements MDI does appear to be an LGAT type of organization, something like "Sterling light," to say the least.

Most LGAT members won't readily admit that is what they are involved in here.

You have already demonstrated one of the warning signs on this thread by attempting to "blame the victim."

Do "MIDI men" often use the saying "Living large with passion and heart"?

You seem to be here as little more than an apologist.

RRmoderator,

I don't recall where I blamed any one and I am not sure who you are referring to as a victim.


You strike me as someone who is very comfortable in their judgments and really not interested in any sort of dialouge. That is unfortunate but it is your life .

I am not quite sure how you feel qualified to reach conclusions so quickly but it is your board so that is your right. In a lot of ways it smacks of the worst traits of Fox news, and other media outlets. If you say something often enough -- without any tangible factual or experiental support -- it some how becomes the "truth". Isn't that what got us into Iraq?


My hope and intention was that by posting on this board, if there were people who had had bad experiences through MDI, not Sterling, MDI, they'd feel free to post that here and it would both open up a chance for a dialouge and test the waters of whether there was some blindspot about what we in MDI were doing that we were not cognizant of.

I thought the bench mark of cults is their unwillingness to open themselves up to criticism. In MDI we welcome it. Afterall it is impossible to get better if you are always right and unwilling to fail.

Through the magic of google people with such concerns can now find this site and these posts. So again, thank you for the opportunity, notwithstanding what appears to be your belief that any time more than three people come together for a common purpose it is somehow a bad thing.

and my signature "Livin life large with passion and heart" is my own. Why is there something offensive about living a full life and connecting to your passion and heart?

Living life large with passion and heart.

duxdeluxe:

You said, "Telling your husband you will leave him if he doesn't quit MDI or do anything for that matter, usually just entrenches him and he stops listening. Besides, I just don't get why you would feel threatened by having your husband have a place where he honestly address whatever challenges he is facing."

You attempted to shift the blame to the wife rather than examine what MDI may have done to create or exacerbate the situation.

Of course you are not qualified to offer any advice in a marriage counseling situation anyway and as an MDI member you are not an objective source for feedback about the organization.

FYI -- I have been qualified and accepted as an expert witness in ten states regarding cults, cult-like groups, including US Federal Court.

Over the past 25 years I have worked with mental health professionals, social services and law enforcement regarding such groups.

I have received very serious complaints about Sterling Institute of Relationship, which is closely associated with MDI.

You are here as an apologist for MDI and anyone posting here can see that by reviewing this thread.

IMO -- you don't really want a dialog, but rather are here to to subvert this thread and essentially to do damage control for MDI.

Why would anyone concerned about MDI be interested in a dialog with you?