I just dont understand why some foul sexual themes have to be thrown out at someone posting to replies

Sadism and Masochism are destructive and sick behaviors and tendencies, even though people "enjoy" them. Just because something makes a person "feel good" doesn't mean its healthy. They are totally destructive.
I think both ends of this twisted viewpoint need some real help.

Coz

Sadism:
Psychology. a. The act or an instance of deriving sexual gratification from infliction of pain on others. b. A psychological disorder in which sexual gratification is derived from infliction of pain on others.
2. Delight in cruelty.
3. Extreme cruelty.

Masochism:
1.a. The act or an instance of deriving sexual gratification from being physically or emotionally abused. b. A psychological disorder in which sexual gratification is derived from being physically or emotionally abused.
2.a. The act or an instance of deriving pleasure from being offended, dominated, or mistreated. b. The tendency to seek such mistreatment.
3.The turning of destructive tendencies upon oneself.

To those who think I'm the typical negligant mom, the kids are fine. They have a friend sleeping over. They've played video games, fooz ball, DVDs, etc. Everybody's keeping warm & happy.

It's freezing here (just outside of NYC, in NJ), but we have a mellow fire going in the family room.

Sims online was just a passing fad with the children (whew!) I suppose they'll still visit it from time to time, but, thankfully, their cutting-edge-short attention span renders them incapable of focusing any extended length of time on anything computer-related.

Thank you all--even those of you who would chain me to the wall for a spanking (yes, I get that you're into that), I think I/we'll be ok.

Sims online started out as an innocent computer game.
If you think my husband and I are parents who don't care, you simply don't know us. He is a programmer. He knows what's going on in the hi tech world, and in our house. I am a copywriter, working at a newspaper. I keep current.

We do our best.

How many of you, who condemn me, have raised triplets? Triplets plus an older (by 3.5 years) child? It is not easy. I am not perfect. I try my best. I make the effort. My kids appear to be thriving. What more do you want?

For you to criticize me is for you not to have walked in my shoes. It is to have questions about your own competence as parents.

Get to know me before you judge me.

rather unfocused discussion with a lot of yelling back and forth.

Energy is being wasted on an issue that I do not believe can ever be solved.

Because there's no way we can ever get consensus on whether BDSM (practiced between consenting adults) is OK or not OK. We are coming from diverse points of view that would take lifetimes to unravel.

Where we can get consensus is whether a specific* BDSM* group* is 1) exhibiting classic features of cultic behavior and 2) misrepresenting its true agendas when seeking to attract new members. Those are the criteria for a cult, not whether someone is doing BDSM.

Its the venue (eg this online group), rather than BDSM itself that is relevant to our site, just as some Christian churches are fine communities, and Christian churches exhibit all the features of cult behavior.

Our site is not designed to resolve culture war topics such as BDSM being an alternative lifestyle for consenting adults or something that is 'wrong.'

RR.com is not designed to answer that question.

But RR.com does exist to

1) supply tools from social science research to determine whether a specific group or relationship is authoritarian/harmful.

2) Provide an archive/database of groups that do fit these criteria

You can have authoritarian/abusive and non-authoritarian/abusive BDSM situations. The only way to figure that out is put aside your anxiety about BDSM and look at the processes and patterns within the specific BDSM group being discussed.

Safer BDSM

That should help clear up the Sadisum/Masochisum issue.
ANYTHING is destructive when one does it in a way which is too extreme. Eating, Lifting weights, Drinking, etc , all things can be OVER done. Moderation is key.

Thanks for your time

Tyger

that may in fact be your viewpoint coz...and I do respect that...

but can anyone please answer the question.


why is the topic of BDSM in this thread or in this site of Cults?

I have yet to see how its a cult.

I was told this is an educational site..and would love to learn , because I am not ignorant to cultist activities, and think its amazing that this toipc got here. as this lifestyle in no way supports a cultist style.


BBT

A cult is an interest followed with exaggerated zeal; (IE: following a latest FAD ~smiles~....a system of religious beliefs and rituals, beliefs and practices... great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work ( as in a film or book)

Person? ...God?, Master/Mistress/Dominant?, President?, Marilyn Manson?...Eminem?

Ideas? "speaks for itself.

Objects? The Holy Cross? The American Flag?

Movement? KKK? Scientology?, Chistianity?

vs.

BDSM...

Bondage is a state of being bound...usually by compulsion as of <Law and Mastery>....servitude or subjugation to a controlling person or force. (IE: Master/Mistress/Teacher.........DRUGS)


Discipline is a training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character .....(IE..Motherhood, Government...Schools)

Sadism and Masochism are just that..." sexual perversions" ...kinks.

TPE (Total Power Exchange Relations)..IE: Dominant/submissive), (Master/slave) is a sub-culture..but , I will say I can see why "some" would call us a "cult"....as "TPE relations" follow their own set of rules...there is a "devotion"...a most profound devotion and NOT ALL are into "BDSM"...There are some that are B and D....etc.

I speak as "shi" ....a player of The Sims Online...a mother..and the owner of my own Fetish/Tshirt Company and a Real Time submissive with slave tendencies and yes, a masochist.

I will and can not speak of Gor....simply because I am not Gorean and have never experienced "true Gor".

Gorean dances and the language is beautiful...I perform Gorean dances/belly dancing...Live....very passionate.

It is my belief...that we, as people take the best care of our children as we possibly can....is Mom going to be 'around' when "child" is handed his/her first "joint", line of cocaine...in the school bathroom? or when the boy next door has your daughter in his backseat?

Impossible.....We have to trust in ourselves, our "discipline" and parenting...not to mention...it is only our responsibility to make sure they grow up to be "better individuals" than any of us...that is my goal anyways.

Im not perfect...but what I do in the privacy of my bedroom or when I am playing with "consentual" adults in a game (I have purchased....which does include " rating may change")....is not anyone's business....Call us what you will.

Accept what you can not change.

I , still think, "this much effort" should be focused on the "real" problems in this world..such as War on Terrorism, War on Drugs..and a big time.." ETC".


~curtsies~

Good day to All.

~Warmest Regards~

shi xo

In my view, BDSM is obviously not a "cult".
BUT, as was said, the Cult Leader/Slave, Guru/Slave dynamic seems to have some similarities.

I see no problem exploring ANY idea, and see if it is related to cultic behavior. Even alleged "safer BDSM" in my view sounds like a bad idea.

I actually think this subject is relevant to this site.
Dominance and Submission sound like the Guru/Slave dynamic to me.

Obviously, people who do BDSM "like" it, and DENY it is harmful.
All of the people in "cults" also LIKE being in the cult, and deny its a harmful cult.

From an outsiders point of view, i do see similarities between them.
Is not a masochist the perfect cultic follower?
Are not many cult leaders Sadists?

Coz

Now that i can accept and agree with to a large extent. The Master/slave relationship shares many similarities with the Guru/slave relationship. I don't thing the Dominant/submissive relationship is nearly as similar as the Guru/slave relationship, although it does have some similarities. However, the submissive does have a loud voice in those relationships and always has the right to refuse with no penalty by saying the safeword.

The slave of the Master (as opposed to the submissive of the Dominant) has no safeword and must obey. I think this is why you find few real life slaves. However, online slaves are far more frequent. I am a submissive in real life, retaining my rights as a person. I chose to be a slave online, to explore new horizons. It is not something i would do in real life. I think many or most of the online slaves would agree that real life slavery is something they would not do. Online, however, the slave, even though slave, can always log out, or delete that character and start over somewhere else, or switch Masters, or leave the lifestyle completely.

S&M is a sexual kink, and may or may not be present in D/s or M/s relationships, as has been stated. It is different from the lifestyle. Many practice S&M who are not in the lifestyle at all, and many in the lifestyle do not practice S&M at all.

Here are some definitions regarding "cults" and "brainwashing"

See the following links:

[www.culteducation.com]

[www.culteducation.com]

[www.culteducation.com]

Not all "cults" are bad, some are essentially benign.

Some relationships have been called "cult-like" or "cultic."

Lifton offers eight criteria to determine if a thought reform program is ongoing. He says if six of the eight criteria are evident, this is sufficient to sustain a thought reform program.

These criteria would also apply to determine if a relationship might be "cultic" and controlling.

Beliefs are not the issue, but rather behavioral dynamics.