Almost two years ago I left a destructive church. I realized that a pastor can be so eager to control his congregation (even with a good intention of "perfecting them" - as if he's God) that he will even support gossips, instead of helping people to get rid of their weaknesses - use their sins and weaknesses to maintain control and keep! a division in the church, so he can divide and rule.
It's disgusting but it's real.
Some of the things that I have learnt through that experience:
1. Never trust a minister that supports your character weakness that is profitable to him. If a pastor tells you "that's ok" and in your heart you know "God doesn't like it" listen to your heart.
It seems simple but it's not when you are an idolator totally devoted to doing your pastor's will.
2. Don't trust a minister that continually speaks to you about how great you are. They want to get you proud because then you get blind.
3. Don't trust a minister that even if doesn't require worship from you but still accepts it when sees you worshipping him, sees that you're emotianally dependent on him and does nothing to stop you. If they allow you to honor them and honor them and honor them, if they don't stop people from giving their lives to them instead of God - they want so.
4. There will be God's judgement on the idols and those who worship them. God will not share His glory with some leader that you think is worth worshipping. And when your idol falls down that's extremly painful, IT'S VERY PAINFUL TO HAVE YOUR EYES OPENED!!!! But that's when you realize how great is the Lord Jesus Christ really is.
You start relaying on a man - you step into a curse. Jeremiah wrote so and it's true.

All things work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose and what the enemy has intended for evil God turned into an experience that brought me so much closer to Jesus.
Now I know that most of all I want Him and I want to be free to obey Him. More than that I know I AM FREE TO OBEY HIM.
If we seek Him first He'll set us free. If He's the centre of our life, the One and Only, He'll rearrange everything as He desires if it hurts - so much for things that don't please Him. Who cares? I want Him, not a religious organization, not a new order of things done, not a new program, not a new form, not a new wineskin. The wine!!!!
If I focus my eyes on Jesus sooner or later He'll shed His light on all of the enemy's lies in my head and He'll set me free.

People, if our security comes from knowing we belong to a certain organization - we're in trouble.

Ditto. I think you are on the right track. The first step is to give up that habit of pastorbation. That wasn't my idea, a guy a the house church I go to came up with it.