Anyone here an ex-ISKCON generation z child? I feel that there is no place for kids my age(18) who have grown up in ISKCON to talk about their experiences and the majority of posts are about kids who were in ISKCON when it was a new thing in the 1900s. I've browsed through the messages and posts on this forum and while I understand that ISKCON was still an oppressive organization then, they really have gotten better at it. I spent my entire life when I lived with my parents (0-18) in ISKCON because it was forced but I had already started to check out of the ideology and rebel against it when I entered my teens. When I left for college I was finally able to do many things I wanted to do without having to hide them. Here are some of the experiences I had in ISKCON and I would really love to know if anyone else resonated with these. Some of these are more in the "narcissistc parenting" spectrum because my dad is a narcissist but I'm sure his narcissism was furthered by ISKCON.

- Not allowed to hang out with friends who were deemed to be too worldly
- Not allowed to wear perfume, makeup, skincare items, have nice shampoos, conditioners, lotions, nailpolosh etc. (When I got a job in my teens, I was so inexperienced with makeup that I used cheap stuff and damaged my skin. I hae spent a small fortune on dfferin and retinoids over the past 2 years and my skin has finally healed.)
- not allowed to go to a salon to get my eyebrows done, or spend money on beauty treatments because they were a "waste"
- Not allowed to wear fashionable clothing. Jeans that fit my body nicely were bad because they would attract men.
- Had to take extra meausres to cover my boobs and butt because they would attract men and it was my fault for having a nice body.
- Not allowed to watch movies, have social media, listen to non ISKCON music, have a pet, talk to kids my age, play video games, watch makeup tutorials, read fiction, etc
- Not allowed to have a boyfriend but expected to get married to a guy without ever dating him or getting to know him
- The one rule that broke the camel's back for me was the no intimacy rule because it's important for me to have a relationship with my partner.

I got a boyfriend a couple months before I started college, and I've been keeping it a secret from my parents ever since. I wear light makeup daily, wear femenine clothes that make me feel confident in myself, get acrylics every three weeks, buy perfume and scented shampoos and lotions, listen to rap, taylor swift, and other music that ISKCON would not approove of. I watch interesting adventure shows and movies on netflix, read fiction, spend time every morning and evening doing my skincare routine, go out with my friends, and I even joined a sorority. I'm moving out to my own apartment with one of my sorority sisters soon and plan to adopt a pet cat.

Is there anyone else my age who had these experiences and was able to leave ISKCON? I really feel this kind of social isolation needs to be talked about more. I dont know about what they do to boys but I felt stripped of my feminity the whole time I stayed at home. I felt frumpy and ugly in my clothes, and I had very low self-esteem due to not having any way of self-care. I felt stripped of my personality because my style and aesthetic is very feminine. I felt that ISKCON attempted to make me sad and depressed so they could control me. I feel that they demonize feminity and women in general.

Welcome to CEI, akapz.

You've written a valuable essay. There must be lots more people out there in your situation.

Here are some tips:

* CEI is all about freedom from coercion. You are under no obligation to answer any questions or convince anyone.

* Discussions here can get intense. Do feel free to take a break.

* If you receive private messages (we call them PMs), you are under no obligation
to answer any. If a PM discussion becomes burdensome, you don't have to continue.

* If you ever get private messages that seem in appropriate, please send a copy by PM to Rick Ross. He cares about our safety and wants to be informed if anyone is misbehaving.

You can contact Mr. Ross here:

[forum.culteducation.com]

Thank you for the welcome corboy,

Yes, I'm hoping there are more people like me because I want people to know that ISKCON has not changed and that they are still child abusers, just in a different way now. Thank you for the tips.