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Re: James Swartz--my original written account
Posted by: MynameisHeather ()
Date: October 02, 2019 09:21AM

15.

Truth Telling


My CPTSD symptoms, panic attacks, Dystonia, and seizures did not slow down or stop. I sought out a new therapist. I was fortunate to find someone who had knowledge of trauma and dissociative disorders. I made an appointment with her and told her my story from the beginning.

I made very good progress. My therapist helped me to deconstruct Swartz’s con game, understand the trauma, and face the truth. She helped me to trust myself and be able to speak the truth. In trauma recovery this is called Truth Telling. We outed the lies of my abuser and confirmed the real narrative—what actually happened. We debunked the false narrative of this heinous perpetrator. I faced uncomfortable facts of his abuse. It’s hard work. It means facing the shame of being a victim, it means grieving over the losses that occurred because of the abuse.

When James Swartz sexually and spiritually abused me, he was a thief, he stole from me the treasures of my future. He took my innocence, and my ability to trust myself, others, and God. He stole my ability to intimately connect with a beloved. My sexual life was permanently and negatively altered. My spiritual life, and experiences, were forever marked by his evil influence.

My therapist provided strategies in dealing with the CPTSD, panic attacks, and seizures. I worked with the methods everyday. My seizures slowed down considerably. It was proof that the strategies were working. It was confirmation my truth telling had a healing effect. I worked with my therapist and returned to my somatic movement practices (Laban Bartenieff, and Body Mind Centering.)

One day, I was looking at spiritual content on the internet. I came across a youtube video of an interview with James Swartz. I hadn’t seen his horrible face in decades. Immediately I had CPTSD reactions…waves and waves of panic. A friend suggested I write my story to facilitate my healing process. For a couple of months I rejected the idea. I was still terrified Swartz would find me and kill me. Eventually, my therapy was going well, and I decided it would be a good idea to write my story. It was the next step in my healing. In 2017 I wrote my story, and another friend offered to post it onto Medium.com. I appreciated the support and agreed to let her post it.

It was hard to write my account. Writing was therapeutic but also triggered a lot of flashbacks and panic attacks.

After some months Swartz threatened Medium.com and had it taken down. I was so stressed out at that time; I was ready to let it all go. I wrote my final post then resigned myself to moving on.

A friend of mine thought my story should be heard. He was angry Swartz was out in the world spreading lies and using the ancient Vedanta teaching as a guise. My friend asked if he could rewrite my story with the names and places changed. He wanted to educate spiritual seekers, to guide people to think critically and use discernment. He wanted folks to know the difference between true and false teachers. I agreed to let my friend rewrite my story. The story he wrote is called, “Guru? The Story of Heather”.

I continued my therapy and went forward. I made a lot of progress. My seizures diminished week by week, month by month. Truth telling was the medicine I needed all along. Cleaning my mind of the cult mindset was the key to my recovery. My life opened considerably, I began to socialize more, and be active in the real world.

(...more to come)

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Re: James Swartz--my original written account
Posted by: MynameisHeather ()
Date: October 02, 2019 09:23AM

16.

A Shift


I still had seizures, but it had lessened, and the panic attacks were greatly diminished. I was curious why I still had the movements. During my somatic movement practice, I began to facilitate a shift in how the seizures and movements (dystonia) expressed in my body. I used breath to relax my abdominal muscles and release the areas of trauma in my body. I let go of my resistance to The Pain. The panic, pain, and flashbacks of sexual abuse began to be transformed into what I experienced as healing waves. The chaotic seizure movements transformed into ripples and waves through my body.

I was active in the dance community and I discovered a modality of movement inquiry called Continuum Movement (by Emilie Conrad). I researched it, ordered her book, and took a local workshop. The movements taught in the workshop looked very much like Kundalini, Kriya-type of movements which are purported to be helpful. It also looked a lot like shell shock, psychogenic non-epileptic seizure disorder, Shaking Medicine, and people overcome by trance or the holy spirit.

I was confused. Why do all these things look alike? What is happening in all these different situations? What are the connections?

Here is an example of Emilie Conrad’s Continuum Movement.

Her language is quite specific to the Continuum work. If you find the language too specialized, just turn off the volume and watch the movement in the body:

[www.youtube.com]

Here is an example of a Continuum Movement workshop.

See timestamp 7:00 to view the motion in full effect:

[www.youtube.com]

This Continuum Movement looks like the healing waves that had originated from my seizure disorder. Is it possible that some movement modalities serve as a method of releasing trauma?

(...more to come)

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Re: James Swartz--my original written account
Posted by: MynameisHeather ()
Date: October 02, 2019 09:26AM

17.

The Fear Arousal Cycle and Somatic Experiencing


I discovered an amazing doctor. His name is Dr. Peter Levine. He developed a healing method called Somatic Experiencing. He helps people with trauma disorders. He teaches war veterans how to heal their nervous systems, via the vagus nerve, and uncouple the trauma response in the brain. Brilliant.

He discusses how animals deal with threat, danger, and trauma. Dr. Levine talks about the Fear Arousal Cycle in the brains of animals. Animals, including human animals, have a natural response to predators. In the Brain’s Fight or Flight response, part of the cycle is immobility. It’s a natural protective response. While in the frozen mode, if the threat continues, and can the animal can’t escape, it will get locked into the trauma response. It’s like a loop. A soldier suffering from shell shock is locked into the trauma response.

Here’s what shell shock looks like.

Notice the shaking:

[www.youtube.com]

In this video, Dr. Levine describes the Fear Immobility response in animals. See timestamp 9:00. The video goes on to show a Polar bear who is shot with a tranquilizer gun by scientists from National Geographic. “In this video you will see the Polar bear running, orienting, turning his head and making preparatory biting movements in an attempt to escape. The Polar bear’s natural fight/flight response is interrupted when he is shot with a tranquilizer gun and enters a freeze/immobility response.”

When the Polar bear wakes up, he trembles and shakes—like a seizure. It’s the natural animal response to shake and discharge the energy of an attack by a predator.

“The animal is actually replicating and completing the last protective motor and muscular survival responses he was making just prior to entering the freeze.”

If the video is too long, see timestamp 9:00:

[www.youtube.com]

(...more to come)

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Re: James Swartz--my original written account
Posted by: MynameisHeather ()
Date: October 02, 2019 09:33AM

18.

Holy Ghost or Seizure?


I had a eureka moment. When Swartz first hypnotized, drugged me, and sexually assaulted me, I went into my natural fight/flight response. Because I was immobilized, by hypnosis, then by drugs, my fight/flight response had been interrupted. I couldn’t fight off my attacker or run away. What made it worse is that I had awareness, and my body was immobilized. After the attack I dissociated to avoid the pain. The abuse was perpetuated many times. In my brain, I got locked into the trauma response.

My movement disorders, the Dystonia and trembling, were mild at first because my conscious mind blocked the trauma. I was terrified of facing what had happened to me, and I developed a dissociative disorder after being in the cult.

The powerful seizures that erupted in me decades later, was my whole system breaking out of the frozen, trauma response loop. When I was able to acknowledge the abuse in therapy, by body was able shake off and release the trauma I had held inside for so long. Somatic movement work served me for many years. With these methods, I learned to relax with breath, and slow down my sympathetic fight/flight trauma response loop. I Learned how to facilitate healing waves in my system. By relaxing my resistance to the trauma, I could allow it to flow out and dissipate. That’s what Dr. Peter Levine does in his work with Somatic Experiencing.

See also how war veterans release trauma with Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE):

[www.youtube.com]

For decades after I left the cult, I continued to be trapped in the cult mindset. Swartz’s undue influence, hypnosis, drugging, and sexual assaults rendered my brain damaged. My nervous system was in disrepair. Whenever I encountered stress in my life, I returned to the cult mindset to find answers to my problems. This was not something I had control over. I remained under the control of Swartz because I didn’t receive proper care and deprogramming after I left. Even as I was fighting for my life, the imprint of his abuse caused me to dissociate and refer to his teaching and influence. Cognitive Dissonance.

When I had seizures, even though it was painful and brought back terrifying memories, I thought it was “spiritual energy”. Cognitive Dissonance.

Sometimes it’s hard to know if someone is having a spiritual experience, or a traumatic event in the mind and body.

Holy Ghost or Seizure?

[www.youtube.com]

James Swartz, guru Rama, tells the story going to India and how he “fell in with a yogi” who taught him a great kundalini technique—Shaktipat. Swartz observed authentic teachers including Swami Chinmayananda. He studied how these men taught. He watched Chinmayananda use the Bhagavad Gita and engage in spiritual discourse with students. He went back to the United States and tried an experiment. He set up an ashram and became a guru. He mirrored and mimicked great sages he saw in India. He used the Shaktipat tricks that the “false yogi” taught him. He used black magic (that’s what he called it) he learned on his travels. Swartz learned he could control people easily with his deceits and hypnosis.

When his first ashram cult-group fell apart, he went into other businesses. He opened an antique shop and started an import business. He manipulated his wife Marlena to do strip teasing. He manipulated Marlena and Joseph to do live sex shows in San Francisco. He started another cult group. He influenced Jessica and me to join the group. When we joined the group, we didn’t know about the sex entertainment work, we only knew about the spiritual activities of the group. He used his Shaktipat and black magic tricks, he used drugs, and sexual assault. He used undue influence.

So what is Shaktipat? Is it only a parlor trick performed by a sociopathic narcissistic rapist? Is the concept of the energy system in the body, nadis, meridians, chakras, and energy centers, real or not real?

I googled Shaktipat:

“…refers in Hinduism to the transmission (or conferring) of spiritual energy upon one person by another. Shaktipat can be transmitted with a sacred word or mantra, or by a look, thought or touch…”

[en.wikipedia.org]

The concept and practice of Shaktipat is rooted in ancient religious tradition. I searched to find an authentic explanation of the value of Shaktipat. What’s it good for anyway?

I found this guy, Swami Shivom Tirth. I haven’t researched enough to know if he is an authentic teacher, but I read his story about Shaktipat, and thought it was interesting.

[realization.org]

He describes his experience of receiving Shaktipat from his guru. In receiving grace, his energy system went through a purification process. How was the Shaktipat energy a part of his spiritual journey and practice? Why was it important? Swami Shivom Tirth describes how a qualified guru touches the aspirant in order to awaken spiritual energy, and then guides the student to direct the energy inwards, away from the outside world. When this is done, the aspirant focusses on essential spiritual truth and practices, builds good character, and acts in accordance with his dharma. He states that “I had been hearing that the awakening of the Shakti is very rare.” And he remembers a warning that spiritual adherents, the sadhaks of the world, are false. The only true sadhak is God alone.

“…Then I recalled an article by Swami Ramtirth, where he had written that all the sadhaks of the world are false. The only true sadhak is God alone. At the time, I couldn't understand the essence of that article, but now it seemed as if the mist before my eyes were thinning out. A human has pride, and with this pride he does his sadhana [spiritual practices involving conscious effort], but because it is done with pride, the effort is rendered useless. What is the need of pride in spiritual practices? God is the only one who can make his Shakti [power] turn inward and, through the medium of the mind and the body of the spiritual aspirant, perform spiritual practices for the benefit of the aspirant. God, nevertheless, does not feel proud, does not impose obligations, does not expect praise and does not demand a reward.”

So…this is how I read it…

I think that “all the sadhaks of the world are false” because a majority of gurus are false. A sadhak can only be true, or be at the level of Godhead, if an authentic guru provides the teachings. In India, false gurus, tricksters, and con artists are widespread. Shaktipat has been used like a cheap parlor trick. (And in my case, unfortunately, a method for Swartz to sexually assault me.) The street trickster performs miracles, the hypnotist manipulates unsuspecting victims and robs them. The black magician performs “Shaktipat” (a “great technique”) to gain control over his victim.

In the sixties and seventies, eastern religion and spiritual gurus inundated the west. The shared knowledge was useful and interesting. Unfortunately, criminals like Swartz used spiritual concepts and ancient traditions like Vedanta to influence and control others. And the influence was harming.

Without rigorous investigation, it’s not too easy to see or know the difference between false Shaktipat and authentic Shaktipat. How can we tell?

“Disciple given Shaktipat through breath”:

[www.youtube.com]

“Live recording of INTENSE SHAKTIPAT”:

[www.youtube.com]

This video is worth watching all the way through, from beginning to ending.

“Shakitpat; Kundalini Shaktipat; Shakti”:

[www.youtube.com]

This video is worth watching all the way through, from beginning to ending.

“Shaktipat with Shankaracharya and Anandamayi”:

[www.youtube.com]


(...more to come)

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Re: James Swartz--my original written account
Posted by: MynameisHeather ()
Date: October 02, 2019 09:35AM

19.

False Guru


When I met James Swartz, I was not looking for spirituality. I didn’t know what a guru was. I didn’t know what Vedanta was. I walked into a party full of dancers and hippies, in a flat, on California Street in San Francisco. I was immediately hypnotized. It was easy, as I was a vulnerable young teenager, and I had problems in my family. Swartz interviewed me hours after I met him. He found out my weaknesses, my desires, my regrets, my hopes and dreams. He figured me out within an hour. He love bombed me. He drugged me. He used his “great technique” of “Shaktipat” to bring me into an exalted state. I thought I had touched God. He sexually assaulted me. He traumatized me. I was locked into the Fear Arousal cycle, and a trauma bond resulted.

I loved God then as I do now. When a spiritual family was promised, I believed him. When he said he had the greatest love I would ever know, I believed him. I wanted to be spiritual. I wanted to be close to God.

Undue influence=Shaktipat.

James Swartz, Jim, Sunny Jim, Rama, The Man Whose Name Cannot Be Spoken, Ram, and Ramji is a false guru. He learned the tricks of “Shaktipat”, he abused Kundalini energy and the people who house that energy. He mimicked authentic teachers and used this theater to create a self-serving cult.

James Swartz is deceitful, and dangerous. He is an uncontrolled sociopathic narcissist. He continues to weave his false narrative today. People don’t know him. But I do.

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Re: James Swartz--my original written account
Posted by: MynameisHeather ()
Date: October 07, 2019 09:24AM

If you're interested in this conversation, please see my new thread:

Spiritual practice after surviving a cult???

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