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Alleged Message from James Swartz
I am dying. My mind is no longer sharp. My body is a creaky husk of what it used to be. My primal glandular urges have subsided.

Some would say it is too long in coming. However, I'm fortunate to have lived this long so I could make amends.

To Heather I can only apologize. I did everything she said, and more. I drugged her, raped her, mind-fucked her -- and did the same to her friend, too. My unstable first wife was unhinged by these rapes and my other crimes, and by me forcing her to help, so I deserted her to suffer and die alone.

Recently I haven't been able to sleep. Hints have come to me in my few peaceful moments of what I have always been missing but yearned for, and those have tortured me.

I realize now that my life has been a waste. I've lied, cheated, and stolen, raped and misled, and seen persons as suckers to be used, since they weren't able to take the teachings like I did.

I conveniently interpreted the teachings as an invitation to lie, cheat, steal, and abuse because "If the Consciousness didn't wish it to happen, it couldn't." I excused my crimes as being 'God's will,' and used that reasoning to do whatever I felt I could get away with.

Yes. That was my life. Do whatever I felt I could get away with. And if challenged, to lie, accuse, and attack.

To all the people I've known, and especially to all of my students, my apologies. Not all of what I taught was false, but it was all slanted. The louder I became, the more you can guess I was on shaky ground.

And my books are excrement. No seeker should read any of them.

I am disbanding 'Shining World' and I worry that my wife, who has enjoyed the fruits of our deceptions, will leave me.

However, I am old, and dying, and can no longer stand the life of lies. Let my last few days, at least, be honest ones.