Denial and projection. you can never know if and when it will catch you out. Hence the saying, " Constant vigilance is the price of freedom". James would say " until it isn`t " and that`s his problem in a nutshell. He thinks he is perfect. why do they both have anger issues, I wonder ?
You nailed it! Thank you!
You’ve given me the missing piece of the puzzle. I’ve kept asking myself the one key question:
Believing that you’re untouchable and unaccountable and above serious and deep accountability or correction, appears to be what has led to this sad state of affairs with James.
My theory: His mother more than likely either adored him to the point of finding no fault at all, or didn’t love and adore him - nor pay the kind of attention that every child needs. I would put money on it, that that’s the root of it.
The unkind and incongruous ways of speaking and attacking and blaming and switching that James at times does - are classic displays of denial and projection, just as you’ve said Stan. It looked like it to me, but I couldn’t match that up with what I believed of him, as my teacher.
Now, I would even go so far as to say, there are signs of a narcissist. (I know it’s been said before.)
I think James is clever/crafty enough to be able to play the part of a loving person, but why does it not hold up to the true test of time? Why is his “love” so fickle?
Is it because an evolved indifference and neutrality and diplomacy, as he claims?
I would say not.
I see it as a lack of something, not a talent or skill or superior ability - as he believes.
The “love” isn’t real. It’s a ploy to milk the love that’s seemingly absent and even, unknown to him.
The closest someone who isn’t in touch with love, compassion, heart etc can get to it - is through adoration and elevation. (And abuse - very often of a sexual nature.)
James is driven by the need to be elevated, venerated and held in high esteem.
Sundari probably is too, although I’ve not had enough first-hand experience of her, to know that for certain - although it certainly comes through in the reports you’ve given.
Hence the anger outbursts. It all makes so much simple sense now. To put it to bed, I wanted to know the underlying cause of what “went wrong” and why I got caught up in it. It suddenly seems clear, and obvious.
I genuinely feel sorry/sad, for him.
How must it be to be so smart, and to know and understand so much, but to be bereft of love.
You can spiritualise that away all you want - it’s an empty place to find oneself.
I’m delightfully amused by some of your comments to Valma. I hope there’s no offence taken over my views on Trump. I can’t help having them, but they’re only an opinion. It matters not a smidgeon to me, what anyone else thinks of him. I have so little insight or wish to know.
Sorry to hear about the other teacher. I know who you mean and I’d forgotten that factor.
I’d like to add, that I’ve felt fairly uncomfortable engaging in this forum at times, because I know that I’m prone to speaking my mind and to being emotional. I can see how things here can sometimes come across....badly let’s say.
But I also know that I can see often what’s there (a somewhat discriminating mind), and I love the truth. (Which truth?)
These elements didn’t produce the desired result in terms of Vedanta. But perhaps I just landed up with the “wrong” teacher. And once things have run their course, nee clarity will unfold. I hope so.
I’ve indulged in some pontificating about James on this forum, because it serves me. I don’t really like that, if it doesn’t serve the greater good. I don’t want to just say things to harm and destroy. I want to clear things up for myself, and I want to see some sort of positive outcome.
Right now I feel that this conversation has served me. And I would really be grateful and happy, if it somehow serves the greater good.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2021 11:20PM by Dis-illusioned.