The Effects of Double Binding upon Cult Members & Treatment Thereof
Posted by:
happytown
()
Date: December 22, 2017 01:14AM
A great article explaining how cults use double binds, and how they affect people
The Effects of Double Binding upon Cult Members & Treatment Thereof
[pairadocks.blogspot.com]
The Effects of Double Binding upon Cult Members & Treatment Thereof
[pairadocks.blogspot.com]
Re: The Effects of Double Binding upon Cult Members & Treatment Thereof
Posted by:
corboy
()
Date: December 22, 2017 09:44AM
This double bind article is fascinating.
Double binds become especially binding if they are such
that the victim is scared/ashamed to talk to anyone outside of the
double binding relationship.
If the double bind is such that it causes the victim to avoid giving
conscious thought to the situation.
Imagine trying to put your key into the lock on your front door if you are facing away from the door.
A double bind is most powerful when the targeted person's zone of awareness is
so constricted that he or she can't picture anything or anyone outside the
relationship.
Its like trying to escape a building with no windows , no doors, no exit signs.
Only way to get out is kick a hole in the wall.
The equivalent to this is
to dismantle* the entire belief system you share with the jerk who is double binding you, since the belief system is part of the recipe that forms the double bind.
*(Permanently or temporarily)
Other ingredients in a double bind:
* You need this person
* This person has something no one else has
* This person merits your trust and submission
* You can't discuss this with anyone outside the relationship
An example of a double bind.
Years ago, someone told me about a double bind she'd been led into.
This person had come to rely on a much trusted, must beloved Christian
spiritual director, Reverend A.
One day, the spiritual director told X that he and his spiritual director
had been discussing Reverend A's guidance of his counselees.
Reverent A said that he and his spiritual director had spent
a lot of time discussing X and said their conclusions had been
"interesting". Reverend A paused and said, to my friend X, "We can talk about this
in our scheduled session tomorrow."
My pal was in suspense for the following 24 hours. Then she went in
to her scheduled appointment with her spiritual advisor. Not wanting to
seem pushy, X said nothing during the session and waited for Reverend A
to bring the subject up.
(You can see how X was submissive to Reverend A, whom she took to be
a major authority figure in her life. Reverend A was her major source
of emotional support at that time.
Finally, with X's suspense at fever pitch, her attention focused on this
very topic, Reverend A mentioned that he and his spiritual advisor
had discussed her.
According to Reverend A, he and his spiritual advisor concluded that my friend
A had the potential to become a saint.
This disclosure tied my friend up in knots for years afterwards.
This had maximum impact on X because Reverend A had teased her with the
information, keeping her in suspense for an entire day beforehand.
Being told your are a potential saint isolates you. You can't ask anyone outside the relationship for fear of being laughed at, being ridiculed. So
this left my friend A stuck with a burdensome secret.
To imagine that Reverend A had committed malpractice by saying such a thing
would have required X to recognize that Reverend A was untrustworthy. This
was intolerably frightening, because the Reverend was her major source
of support at a difficult time in her life. And, leaving Reverend A would have
meant looking for other confidantes, and would have forced my friend to
talk about this entire very embarrassing subject.
* This was confusing -- and it made X feel all the more dependent on her
spiritual advisor -- the one who caused the confusion by mentioning this.
* X could not ask further questions about this or let herself think about this
for fear of falling into ego inflation or being reprimanded for being egotistical.
* This imposed a burden of fear. In the belief system shared by Reverend A
and friend X, someone who is a saint or a potential saint faces more
harassment from Satan.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/22/2017 09:55AM by corboy.
Double binds become especially binding if they are such
that the victim is scared/ashamed to talk to anyone outside of the
double binding relationship.
If the double bind is such that it causes the victim to avoid giving
conscious thought to the situation.
Imagine trying to put your key into the lock on your front door if you are facing away from the door.
A double bind is most powerful when the targeted person's zone of awareness is
so constricted that he or she can't picture anything or anyone outside the
relationship.
Its like trying to escape a building with no windows , no doors, no exit signs.
Only way to get out is kick a hole in the wall.
The equivalent to this is
to dismantle* the entire belief system you share with the jerk who is double binding you, since the belief system is part of the recipe that forms the double bind.
*(Permanently or temporarily)
Other ingredients in a double bind:
* You need this person
* This person has something no one else has
* This person merits your trust and submission
* You can't discuss this with anyone outside the relationship
An example of a double bind.
Years ago, someone told me about a double bind she'd been led into.
This person had come to rely on a much trusted, must beloved Christian
spiritual director, Reverend A.
One day, the spiritual director told X that he and his spiritual director
had been discussing Reverend A's guidance of his counselees.
Reverent A said that he and his spiritual director had spent
a lot of time discussing X and said their conclusions had been
"interesting". Reverend A paused and said, to my friend X, "We can talk about this
in our scheduled session tomorrow."
My pal was in suspense for the following 24 hours. Then she went in
to her scheduled appointment with her spiritual advisor. Not wanting to
seem pushy, X said nothing during the session and waited for Reverend A
to bring the subject up.
(You can see how X was submissive to Reverend A, whom she took to be
a major authority figure in her life. Reverend A was her major source
of emotional support at that time.
Finally, with X's suspense at fever pitch, her attention focused on this
very topic, Reverend A mentioned that he and his spiritual advisor
had discussed her.
According to Reverend A, he and his spiritual advisor concluded that my friend
A had the potential to become a saint.
This disclosure tied my friend up in knots for years afterwards.
This had maximum impact on X because Reverend A had teased her with the
information, keeping her in suspense for an entire day beforehand.
Being told your are a potential saint isolates you. You can't ask anyone outside the relationship for fear of being laughed at, being ridiculed. So
this left my friend A stuck with a burdensome secret.
To imagine that Reverend A had committed malpractice by saying such a thing
would have required X to recognize that Reverend A was untrustworthy. This
was intolerably frightening, because the Reverend was her major source
of support at a difficult time in her life. And, leaving Reverend A would have
meant looking for other confidantes, and would have forced my friend to
talk about this entire very embarrassing subject.
* This was confusing -- and it made X feel all the more dependent on her
spiritual advisor -- the one who caused the confusion by mentioning this.
* X could not ask further questions about this or let herself think about this
for fear of falling into ego inflation or being reprimanded for being egotistical.
* This imposed a burden of fear. In the belief system shared by Reverend A
and friend X, someone who is a saint or a potential saint faces more
harassment from Satan.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/22/2017 09:55AM by corboy.
Re: The Effects of Double Binding upon Cult Members & Treatment Thereof
Posted by:
happytown
()
Date: December 26, 2017 07:05PM
A double bind is a kind of baited trap. It is like a lobster pot or a similar type of animal trap - the trap is initially attractive and easy to get into, but then turns out to be much harder to get out of. Unlike an animal trap, a double bind works on a psychological level rather than a physical one. A double bind tricks a person into doing what the controller wants, while giving an illusion of choice.
A double bind offers some kind of benefit as its bait. With the FWBO, the bait is the promise of personal and spiritual growth. Eg.:
'Buddhism offers clear and practical guidelines as to how men and women can realise their full potential for understanding and kindness. Meditation is a direct way of working on ourselves, to bring about positive change in our lives. We teach two simple and complementary meditations. One helps us develop a calm, clear, focused mind; the other transforms our emotional life, enabling us to enjoy greater self-confidence and positivity towards others.' [1]
On offer are: greater understanding and kindness; mental calmness, clarity and focus; and greater self-confidence and positivity. How could anyone refuse?
Of course, a person could refuse, but then that might be taken to imply arrogance on their part. Refusal could be taken to imply that they believe they are already perfect, that they have already achieved their full potential for understanding and kindness, etc. That's already a little bit of a double bind.
However, the double bind only starts to kick in once a person takes the bait, once they start to feel that there are aspects of their lives they would like to improve, and that they might benefit from following a course of study and training, with the FWBO or any other organisation offering to teach people how to realise their full potential.
They don't need to have absolute faith in the group's teaching, only to give it some degree of credence, or at least the benefit of the doubt.
In general, groups offering to teach people how to develop their full potential, will put forward the idea that the reason why they are failing to realise their true potential, is because they are subject to certain psychological or cognitive or emotional blocks and obstacles, which they may be unaware or unconscious of. These obstacles block their energy and cause frustration and unhappiness.The group's teaching can help them to become aware of and then overcome these obstacles.
Different organisations have different ideas about the nature of the obstacles which hinder personal growth. In the FWBO, they are said to be the result of unconscious conditioning, ignorance, fear of change, etc. In a Christian based group such as the Moonies, any doubts or reservations which a student may have about the group's teaching, may be blamed on Satan putting evil thoughts into the student's mind in order to try and prevent them from reaching towards God. In Scientology, such doubts or reservations may be ascribed to the influence of 'engrams', unconscious conditionings from past lives which block the student's energy and awareness.
In a way it doesn't much matter which factors the group identifies as the reasons why a person might have failed to realise their full potential. The two key ideas are that a person has unrealised potential, and that the group's teaching can enable them to overcome any unconscious hindrances and realise that potential. These two ideas together form a potential double bind.
The double bind works in the following way: If you believe you might be failing to live up to your true potential, because of unconscious conditioning or similar factors, then what do you do about it? Do you:
(a). Give in and accept the situation?
or
(b). Try and break free of your conditioning?
You can of course refuse to answer the question. However, if your answer is (b), then this implies some agreement with the idea that you are 'conditioned'. To the degree that you accept that idea, to that degree you have entered into an insoluble paradox and double bind.
The paradox is: how can you attempt to break free when any or even all of your thoughts and actions may be at least partly the result of 'conditioning' (or pride, or ignorance, etc.)? If you decide on a course of action on your own account, how can you be sure that your decision isn't partly or wholly the result of your 'conditioning' (or of some other unconscious factor). How can you be sure that you are actually making a free decision, and that you haven't simply been conditioned and programmed to act in a particular way?
If a person accepts that they are conditioned to some degree, and they want to break free of their conditioning, then logically they cannot really do it by themselves, because the chances are that they will simply go round in circles, unconsciously repeating their own conditioned behaviour. They need some external help and guidance, from a teacher who has already broken through their own conditioning (to some extent at least), and who has a good understanding of the processes involved in this kind of breakthrough.
This is the whole point of setting up this kind of paradox and double bind - to make a person think they need a teacher, so that they then become dependent on the teacher. Potentially the teacher can then misuse this power, without ever being held responsible for any psychological harm their teaching may cause their students.
There is a wide variety of groups and organisations which offer teaching and guidance for people who believe that they might be failing to live up to their true potential. Some are religious or quasi-religious, offering guidance on how to grow closer to God, or to the deity of your choice. Others are more secular, offering to help people to realise their true potential, or to discover their true inner selves, or to become one with the universe.
Some of these groups and organisations may provide valuable resources; others may be cults, and it can be very difficult for an outsider to tell them apart. Many of these groups are self-regulating, which among other things means that there are no independent and objective ways to test how beneficial the group's teaching might be, the only way is to test it subjectively, by trying it out for yourself.
If, after a period of time, a person does begin to experience tangible benefits from following the practices and lifestyle advocated by the group, then all well and good. If however they experience initial benefits but then become stuck at a certain level, or if they experience no benefits at all, then at what point do they cut their losses and drop out of the training?
If they are failing to thrive, they cannot be sure where the problem lies. Does the problem lie with their own understanding and practice, or with the group and its teaching? Should they have faith and persevere, or should they drop out?
They are in a double bind because, having accepted that they might be subject to ignorance or unconscious conditioning to some degree, they can never really be sure that any doubts or reservations they may have about the group's teaching, aren't simply the product of their own unconscious conditioning. And they can never be sure that valuable insights will definitely not result from attending the next training course or residential weekend offered by the group. Or from the next course after that.
On the other hand, if they decide to drop the training and leave the group, they can never be sure that they aren't making a terrible mistake. They can never be sure in their own minds that their doubts about the quality of the teaching are reasonable and justified, nor can they prove to anyone else that their concerns are justified (because of the nature of the double bind, and because double binds work on a subjective and psychological level, and leave no objectively verifiable physical evidence to reveal their existence).
In short, they can never prove that they are right, and the group is wrong. This is one of the reasons why many religious/human potential type groups are effectively unaccountable to any outside authority for any psychological harm their teaching may cause their students.
A group only becomes a dangerous cult when it starts to abuse the teacher - student relationship and its inherent double bind. The problem with non-accountability is that, if such abuse does begin, it is likely to continue unchecked for many years, and may even become institutionalised within the group.
Using the double bind system, anyone can set themselves up as a personal growth teacher, with very little risk of ever being held responsible for any psychological damage their teaching might cause their students. Indeed, with non-accountability, low overheads, and the availability of tax-exempt religious charity status, the personal growth/spiritual fulfillment market provides an ideal business opportunity for the unscrupulous and the deluded to milk their students.
[www.ex-cult.org]
A double bind offers some kind of benefit as its bait. With the FWBO, the bait is the promise of personal and spiritual growth. Eg.:
'Buddhism offers clear and practical guidelines as to how men and women can realise their full potential for understanding and kindness. Meditation is a direct way of working on ourselves, to bring about positive change in our lives. We teach two simple and complementary meditations. One helps us develop a calm, clear, focused mind; the other transforms our emotional life, enabling us to enjoy greater self-confidence and positivity towards others.' [1]
On offer are: greater understanding and kindness; mental calmness, clarity and focus; and greater self-confidence and positivity. How could anyone refuse?
Of course, a person could refuse, but then that might be taken to imply arrogance on their part. Refusal could be taken to imply that they believe they are already perfect, that they have already achieved their full potential for understanding and kindness, etc. That's already a little bit of a double bind.
However, the double bind only starts to kick in once a person takes the bait, once they start to feel that there are aspects of their lives they would like to improve, and that they might benefit from following a course of study and training, with the FWBO or any other organisation offering to teach people how to realise their full potential.
They don't need to have absolute faith in the group's teaching, only to give it some degree of credence, or at least the benefit of the doubt.
In general, groups offering to teach people how to develop their full potential, will put forward the idea that the reason why they are failing to realise their true potential, is because they are subject to certain psychological or cognitive or emotional blocks and obstacles, which they may be unaware or unconscious of. These obstacles block their energy and cause frustration and unhappiness.The group's teaching can help them to become aware of and then overcome these obstacles.
Different organisations have different ideas about the nature of the obstacles which hinder personal growth. In the FWBO, they are said to be the result of unconscious conditioning, ignorance, fear of change, etc. In a Christian based group such as the Moonies, any doubts or reservations which a student may have about the group's teaching, may be blamed on Satan putting evil thoughts into the student's mind in order to try and prevent them from reaching towards God. In Scientology, such doubts or reservations may be ascribed to the influence of 'engrams', unconscious conditionings from past lives which block the student's energy and awareness.
In a way it doesn't much matter which factors the group identifies as the reasons why a person might have failed to realise their full potential. The two key ideas are that a person has unrealised potential, and that the group's teaching can enable them to overcome any unconscious hindrances and realise that potential. These two ideas together form a potential double bind.
The double bind works in the following way: If you believe you might be failing to live up to your true potential, because of unconscious conditioning or similar factors, then what do you do about it? Do you:
(a). Give in and accept the situation?
or
(b). Try and break free of your conditioning?
You can of course refuse to answer the question. However, if your answer is (b), then this implies some agreement with the idea that you are 'conditioned'. To the degree that you accept that idea, to that degree you have entered into an insoluble paradox and double bind.
The paradox is: how can you attempt to break free when any or even all of your thoughts and actions may be at least partly the result of 'conditioning' (or pride, or ignorance, etc.)? If you decide on a course of action on your own account, how can you be sure that your decision isn't partly or wholly the result of your 'conditioning' (or of some other unconscious factor). How can you be sure that you are actually making a free decision, and that you haven't simply been conditioned and programmed to act in a particular way?
If a person accepts that they are conditioned to some degree, and they want to break free of their conditioning, then logically they cannot really do it by themselves, because the chances are that they will simply go round in circles, unconsciously repeating their own conditioned behaviour. They need some external help and guidance, from a teacher who has already broken through their own conditioning (to some extent at least), and who has a good understanding of the processes involved in this kind of breakthrough.
This is the whole point of setting up this kind of paradox and double bind - to make a person think they need a teacher, so that they then become dependent on the teacher. Potentially the teacher can then misuse this power, without ever being held responsible for any psychological harm their teaching may cause their students.
There is a wide variety of groups and organisations which offer teaching and guidance for people who believe that they might be failing to live up to their true potential. Some are religious or quasi-religious, offering guidance on how to grow closer to God, or to the deity of your choice. Others are more secular, offering to help people to realise their true potential, or to discover their true inner selves, or to become one with the universe.
Some of these groups and organisations may provide valuable resources; others may be cults, and it can be very difficult for an outsider to tell them apart. Many of these groups are self-regulating, which among other things means that there are no independent and objective ways to test how beneficial the group's teaching might be, the only way is to test it subjectively, by trying it out for yourself.
If, after a period of time, a person does begin to experience tangible benefits from following the practices and lifestyle advocated by the group, then all well and good. If however they experience initial benefits but then become stuck at a certain level, or if they experience no benefits at all, then at what point do they cut their losses and drop out of the training?
If they are failing to thrive, they cannot be sure where the problem lies. Does the problem lie with their own understanding and practice, or with the group and its teaching? Should they have faith and persevere, or should they drop out?
They are in a double bind because, having accepted that they might be subject to ignorance or unconscious conditioning to some degree, they can never really be sure that any doubts or reservations they may have about the group's teaching, aren't simply the product of their own unconscious conditioning. And they can never be sure that valuable insights will definitely not result from attending the next training course or residential weekend offered by the group. Or from the next course after that.
On the other hand, if they decide to drop the training and leave the group, they can never be sure that they aren't making a terrible mistake. They can never be sure in their own minds that their doubts about the quality of the teaching are reasonable and justified, nor can they prove to anyone else that their concerns are justified (because of the nature of the double bind, and because double binds work on a subjective and psychological level, and leave no objectively verifiable physical evidence to reveal their existence).
In short, they can never prove that they are right, and the group is wrong. This is one of the reasons why many religious/human potential type groups are effectively unaccountable to any outside authority for any psychological harm their teaching may cause their students.
A group only becomes a dangerous cult when it starts to abuse the teacher - student relationship and its inherent double bind. The problem with non-accountability is that, if such abuse does begin, it is likely to continue unchecked for many years, and may even become institutionalised within the group.
Using the double bind system, anyone can set themselves up as a personal growth teacher, with very little risk of ever being held responsible for any psychological damage their teaching might cause their students. Indeed, with non-accountability, low overheads, and the availability of tax-exempt religious charity status, the personal growth/spiritual fulfillment market provides an ideal business opportunity for the unscrupulous and the deluded to milk their students.
[www.ex-cult.org]
Gaslighting Two Articles from BBC News
Posted by:
corboy
()
Date: January 12, 2018 09:26AM
Cheating and manipulation: Confessions of a gaslighter
By Megha Mohan
BBC Stories
11 January 2018
[www.bbc.com]
Gaslighting: The 'perfect' romance that became a nightmare
29 November 2017
[www.bbc.com]
How to Know if You're a Victim of Gaslighting
Spot the behavior and the side effects, and begin recovery.
Posted Jan 13, 2018 Psychology Today blog
[www.psychologytoday.com]
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2018 10:30AM by corboy.
By Megha Mohan
BBC Stories
11 January 2018
[www.bbc.com]
Gaslighting: The 'perfect' romance that became a nightmare
29 November 2017
[www.bbc.com]
How to Know if You're a Victim of Gaslighting
Spot the behavior and the side effects, and begin recovery.
Posted Jan 13, 2018 Psychology Today blog
[www.psychologytoday.com]
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2018 10:30AM by corboy.
Re: The Effects of Double Binding upon Cult Members & Treatment Thereof
Posted by:
corboy
()
Date: January 29, 2018 10:08PM
Narcissistic Brainwashing: How Larry Nassar Thinks By Lenora Thompson
[blogs.psychcentral.com]
(small excerpt of a longer article - see above)
[blogs.psychcentral.com]
(small excerpt of a longer article - see above)
Quote
If you too have come out of the narcissistic fog, hold onto your truth. Don’t allow yourself to fall under the brainwashing again. It’d be so easy because then they’d “love” us again. Don’t do it! Cling to your truth with your fingernails, toenails and teeth if necessary.
Will your narcissist come around? Will they finally face the truth.
Let me put it like this. Faced with the testimony of 156 victims and a sentence of 175 years in prison, Larry Nassar is still insisting he’s innocent, still blaming his victims – all 156 of them!
Will the Turpins (or Turnips if you prefer, and I do because they fell off the turnip truck a long time ago and that’s putting it nicely!) do the same thing? Of course they will! By the time the trial comes around, I expect they’ll come up with some good reason the children just had to be shackled. God knows they didn’t have a good reason when the police came!
Unfortunately, I’ve yet to hear of a narcissist who truly mended.
Quote
That innocent sweet little ol’ doctor sentenced to 175 years in jail who claimed that, “…those patients that are now speaking out…The media convinced them that it was wrong and bad.”
In other words, the brainwashing he had so carefully instilled in all those little girls he sexually molested (and their parents) had slipped.
[blogs.psychcentral.com]
Totally and completely. That is exactly what all or most malignant narcissists will claim when confronted with their wrongdoings and abuse.
They still cling to their “truth” — the La-La Land of their own creation
[blogs.psychcentral.com]
in which they are the innocent, magnanimous hero. They remain in the brainwashing bullshit they worked so hard to ingrain in your gray matter. Then they use narcissists’ favorite trick, projection
[blogs.psychcentral.com]
to claim you’re the one who’s been brainwashed against them. Seriously, it’s so typical as to be cliché. Hey, Larry! Project much!?!
[blogs.psychcentral.com]
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