Yes Corboy,

You are so very, very right! My alarm bells went off pretty early, almost immediately, but I trusted these people very much so and gave it the benefit of the doubt. However, it never got beyond that point despite how much I really, truly tried to embrace this organisation. And boy, did I try. Genuinely so. But, it just grinded away every day. It just felt so wrong. I never got straight answers to anything I asked, always being referred to Greg Baer - someone whom I DO NOT want to have any association with thank you very much. Nothing was right, nothing quite fit the profile of it being a Life Coaching organisation.

Thankfully, for me I had two factors behind me which helped me from being totally sucked in to this crap. 1.) I have been in a cultic relationship with another person previously, a long time ago. So much of that cultic behaviour and mind-reshaping just kept jumping right at me, telling me that RL was using mind-control techniques and was indeed cultic. It just kept gnawing away at me. It felt like history repeating - but instead of a single person controlling me, it was an organisation with lots of people trying to influence me. I did almost get trapped. And thankfully, a short trip across to the other side of the world helped me to 'see the light' and man-up enough to be strong and get out as soon as I returned. 2.) I have had a lot of mental health treatment many years ago, and I could see a lot of practices being used openly and also by unqualified people. I knew deep inside of me, that because I have had a lot of work done, including hypnosis, I did not want to be subjected to unqualified work, on top of other work done, and end up losing my mind completely due to incompetency.

Unqualified people may believe in their own mind that they via RL have all the answers and that what they are doing is saving you, but they can (and sadly are) doing damage to people's minds - and I didn't want to be a victim. I take my mental health very seriously indeed, and I refuse to let anyone use mind control techniques on my mind without my permission - and certainly NOT anyone who is unqualified to do so. Having read four key texts on cults and what they do to people, and how long it takes for people to get their minds back and be their self again, I knew I'd made the right decision. But also, that I was right all along. My suspicions were spot on. My heart hurts for people trapped in the cult cycle, not knowing what they are doing and saying and how their life is slipping away and they are missing out on so much in that ignorance. They are gorgeous, lovely, intelligent and thoroughly interesting people who will thrive so much once they get out of RealLove. They truly believe in their heart of heart that RealLove is the answer and has helped them, yet what I and indeed others on this website who have shared their stories see, is a totally different picture. Ironically, the professional psychological help they have been advised to shun and despise will be exactly what they will need when the penny drops and they leave. They really don't understand that qualified mental health and psychological professionals really DO want their patients to get well quickly, have tools to help them live a better life, and to be healthy and whole as quickly as possible - and NOT reliant on them for life. So sad.

I pray for people fooled by and doing RealLove, as well as all people in all types of cults around the world that they may be able to see the light and get out and heal, become whole again and leave it all behind them for good. Seeing a cult first-hand, and seeing mind techniques used on people without their knowing, let alone their permission, has been the most disturbing experience of my life - and I have seen a LOT!!

Your words explain the beautiful people I know very well. I hope this Forum goes some way to helping people avoid getting involved with cults who are deceptively posing as seemingly harmless organisations. What a blessing this site is. But, so much sadness for the families affected by RealLove.

Another thing keeps us trapped.

We become afraid of talking about what we have been told to do.

Why?

Because at some level, we are scared to have someone look at us horrified
and say, "They had you do WHAT?"

This leads us either not to tell our outside friends, family coworkers
what is going on in an exploitative group or relationship --- or
we cut ourselves off from anyone who might express dismay if
we tell them what goes in in the group or relationship.

It gets exhausting to "commute" between our increasingly strange lives
inside an exploitative shame laden relationship and our outside relationships.

As time goes on, we have more and more secrets to keep. Commmuting back and forth
between these two worlds gets more and more tiring.

It becomes easy to just let our outside friendships and other relationships drop away.

This isolates us and traps us within the network of relationships, the echo chamber inside the group.

People who are in cults act like they are in spy novels. Their vibe is weirdly intense. Learn to pick up on this. It is a byproduct of cult socialization.

* Secretiveness

* Solemnity -- may go into sudden fury if you unknowingly make a joke at the
expense of the cult or its behavior. Cults hate jokes and playfulness. Cult leaders and cult members cannot take a joke

* Weirdly childish excitement

* Elitism perhaps disdain toward outsiders(which often compensates for humiliation and shame and pain, social and financial, incurred within the cult - Only the Tough Endure -- which by the way is bollocks unless you are a trainee in the Armed Forces)

* Changes in entertainment, diet, colors of clothing, may re decorate his or her house or lodgings if the cult favors certain design features.


The person who is involved with a cult has intense emotions, of both anxiety and
ecstasy. He or she is often keeping secrets and that means the person is living
a double existence. One life in the cult, and another in the outside world.

When socializing with a friend who is not in the cult, a person involved with a cult lives in fear and lives in hope.

*Fear - will you be horrified or shocked or tell the person something he or she is afraid to know?

*Hope - will you join the group and become a) safe b) a source of status by being a new recruit?

Here is something subtle that might tip us off that a friend
is involved with a cultic group or leader.

A friend involved with a secretive cult, especially one that already has had
some bad publicity, may betray a weirdly intense joy if you decide to get involved.

Why? Because you have become safe company for them.

When I told my friend I had decided to work with the same therapist she'd been
praising for many years, X behaved as though I had joined a special, very very
special project. Someone she could share more of herself with.

As though I had become clubbable, had shown myself to be officer material.

This friend had come to believe that this cult compromised therapist was special, superior to any other therapist. All this was wordlessly conveyed to me. Without realizing it, I unconsciously believed this guy was special, too. An aura of secrecy attached itself. As though the outside world had become inferior if not threatening.

Most of the time, if a pal enjoys doing something, he or she will
will be pleased, even happy if you decide to get involved.

But if your pal is involved with a cultic, dodgy group or leader, and you
decide to get involved, the friend may betray an enthusiasm that is strangely
intense.

Something said about Bear being ex Mormon. Here is something to ask about. Do Real Love disciples follow a Mormon aesthetic? A Mormon 'style?'

It is part of LDS culture to take great care with ones appearance.

[www.google.com]

[www.allure.com]

Mormons reportedly have a particular aesthetic - obligatory cheeriness, constant smiles, perfect teeth amongst those who can afford dentistry, wholesome appearance, white clothing, white buildings. Anecdotal reports of Jesus pix in the house, representational art in gold frames, people look aggressively wholesome.

[www.reddit.com]

So, we tentatively go along to group – confused and trying to understand things, things we’ll never understand because we’re not meant to. Double-binds are designed to utterly confuse and not make sense, no matter which way you look at it. But some people, try as they may, will keep on trying to work them out, to figure them out, totally believing that they are at fault. In actual fact, there is nothing wrong with them at all. It is after all human nature to try and work out confusing concepts until we ‘get it’. This is a neat little cult tool to keep us interested in them, in coming back to another group and keeping going with the cult ideology. If you don’t run these double-binds by other people to see how they react, you’ll be left wondering what the answer is and return to a group. Other people will get the same reaction as you have in your gut instinct. Which that it is total bull, rubbish. There IS NO ANSWER. The double-binds are set up to confuse you, and they are not only used to keep people staying in the cult believing that they are stupid and ‘don’t get it yet’, but to confuse you and entice you to actually join up, keep going to group, keep seeking the answers. If anyone you love or know of comes up with stupid concepts they’ve heard in a group meet-up, please stop them from going again. They really are not missing out on anything – most especially RealLove. If you are unable to stop them from going to groups, you will find out, just like many others on the two threads on this site, that they will end up disowning you and the rest of the family, friends and workplace. Help them to stay away at ALL COSTS. Lead them to this website, get them to read a book on cults or to read articles, anything, but do your best. Attending RealLove groups is the fishing net that will catch you unawares and reel you, or them in.

If you haven’t come across the books then you’ll be convinced week after week that you NEED to read them all, to subscribe to video chats, do any of the seminars or weekend programs, to get onto the Facebook Secret Page and to befriend someone in RealLove who can ‘love you’ if you get distressed with your life, or knowingly demonstrate Baer’s ‘Getting and Protecting’ behaviours, attitudes at any point. RL people are on alert all the time, at the other end of a phone to ‘love you’ anytime you need it. They will all bend over backwards to take your call and ‘love’ you – the RealLove way of course! Once you’ve been ‘loved’ over the phone a few times it makes it harder and harder to actually NOT go to the group that you are slowly becoming addicted to.

The books, supposedly, give clarity about some stuff and answers to the things we seek answers about and which will give us hope and a belief that this RealLove©(Trademark, Registered) ‘stuff’ is the right way to go. You’ll ponder “Maybe if I do this, then I’ll get all the answers and all my problems regarding relationships with people and with life in general and my life will be better?” But at the same time you’ve also become highly confused by material in the books too – and not all the concepts lead you to fully enact what you read and to bring into your life. The books feel overwhelmingly incomplete – and they are. If you took all the usable and relevant stuff from every book and put it into one, you’d have a good and useful book. But the useful stuff is spread thinly across so many books, each covering a different theme (parenting, workplace, victimhood, wise people, dating, marriage, etc.) and are repetitive and boring. They also entice the reader to believe that the books only have part of the answer to what RealLove©(Trademark, Registered) is all about, and that you can only access the rest, the secrets and the full deal by signing up to the full program. The reality is that each and every book has all there is to know about RealLove©(Trademark, Registered) in it. The whole thing is very limited and the books are it. However, both the confusion of wanting the clarity you didn’t quite get in the groups and books, and the hope from the little you did get, keep you INTERESTED ENOUGH to keep pursuing RL for a little while longer.

The books, all of them, are hiding the truth and only conning you into feeling that you have some form of agency on the one part while massaging your emotions enough for you to want to know what it all means. How it works. What do you have to do. All the queries found from reading the books will be brought up and explored at group – the same things each time a new person starts going along. But again, beware, because those running the group lie in wait, waiting and knowing what your questions will be, knowing they’ll come up and being ready with every single possible answer under the sun. Not to provide the answer – just confuse you more! Remember, that people have been trained by Greg Baer himself, so they are well prepared for people like you – who question things, who have doubts, who are confused. Greg’s style and words are filtered down through coaches, to wise people, to other RealLove adherents. Thus, in your confusion you ask questions and instead of getting answers, you get even more confusion, with the smallest bit of clarity thrown in (so as not to scare you off!). The little bits of clarity are the important bits that a totally confused and vulnerable person will remember. And so, most importantly for RealLove©(Trademark, Registered) they can now begin to grow the steadily increasing emotional dependence needed to one day fully commit and submit to RealLove© (Trademark, Registered). And while you go along to group after group you are gradually getting more and more ADDICTED to love (not ‘real’ love, but the fake RL version) and feeling seen and accepted in this little fantasy world that you don’t tell anyone you are still doing! Yep, you kept it a secret that you went back to this strange little cult-like group, when everyone warned you not to go back! But you did so because you were curious and wanted some more answers first. You will soon be irreversibly TRAPPED.

You sit there in group wondering why “You’re not getting stuff like the others do. They know this stuff really well. I don’t. I don’t get it. But they do, they really understand and they really seem to be happy”. What we don’t realise is that most of the people spouting the RealLove jargon are not really getting much stuff either – but demonstrate that they do. They are putting on a show too! They want for you to join the happy little them-and-us fantasy world.

But by now, all these weeks in, you can’t see what’s really happening as you actually accept that the LOVE-BOMBING, HUGGING, STARING, HAND-HOLDING, TOUCHING and HOLDING are ‘real’ love for you – when in reality it is the RL principles of acceptance being played out, the way things are done in RealLove©(Trademark, Registered). However, you also have this urge to know more, because you are still not ‘getting’ it all, not joining the dots and still feeling confused about it all. Fact is, these people don’t really love you – they’re just evoking the physical feelings of feeling loved by all these actions – which they were included for just this purpose. So you are gradually more ‘open’ to suggestion, the more you feel relaxed, seen, accepted and loved at these groups. We are, of course, and as scientifically proven, at our most open and vulnerable when we are feeling loved. And while you feel loved by these wonderful people who you are learning to trust – because you’ve told them secret stuff about yourself as they have shared secret stuff about themselves – you are also heading towards total addiction and dependence on RealLove©(Trademark, Registered) to fulfil your life now.

So, not really getting all the answers from books or groups you might be drawn to watching the videos that have been put up onto the internet via youtube, or even sign up to ‘Greg-chat’ videos. The videos build rapport with the viewer and induce you gradually into a light hypnotic state. Suggestions are installed to buy products, get interventions, do things in certain ways (the way Greg says to), to feel like a small child. The videos often cause people to sleep the more often they are listened to – but that’s okay as they are doing their work regardless of your being awake or asleep.

As the groups continue to progress your inner child comes to the surface and the emotional turmoil within you increases. You keep seeing others who ‘get it’ and seem happy and continue to question yourself. Then, as more truth sharing’s come out, often drawn out very early in group attendance, you will be made well aware that all emotional pain in our life is the result of being totally unloved and parented badly by our parents as a child. Even unconnected events in adulthood can be made to connect to childhood. You will be told that you, as well as the whole world (even Buddhist monks, nuns and all races of people on the whole planet) are suffering from Greg Baer’s invention that he calls PCSD (Post Childhood Stress Disorder). You will be told that all adults, yourself included, are only the emotional and mental age of only 2 or 3 years old. And as the weeks go by you will get to become more and more infantilised. This is seen in the holding process – which is directly why it is like it is, because Greg says we all missed out on being held properly, and so we now need to experience it as an adult so that we can become whole and grow up properly (courtesy of RealLove). In the videos and chats you’ll hear Greg address the viewers and the people in his dialogue in childish terms – kiddo, kid, sweetie, honey etc. He is always talking ‘down’ to the viewer as though they are an ignorant, innocent and curious child and never with the viewer seen as an intelligent adult. The videos include several stories of Greg mocking and shaming everyone not doing his advice and following RealLove to the letter. His way. Using his principles, his advice ONLY. The most common one is to shut people down, lock their minds so that they are unable to critically respond, examine or reflect. In fact he does not tolerate any form of assertiveness and criticism whatsoever.

The RealLove daddies and mummies (coaches) and those completely addicted all promote full and complete IMMERSION into RealLove materials at the expense of anything else whatsoever. This immersion in reading only RL books, doing RL groups, attending RL courses and seminars, attending an intervention, listening in on conference calls every night, going to see your daddy in person, calling your daddy regularly and getting ‘coached’, watching the weekly video chat and watching the stock of chats available to listen to over and over and over. We can look on from afar and see why RL encourages full immersion very clearly – none other than to create addiction, dependency, co-dependency, and a mind that can be controlled, influenced and coerced easily without the person knowing or aware of what is going on. And furthermore, to induce you into being infantilised. No healthy, whole and sane adult would sit on the lap of another and tell this stranger “I love you, Daddy” or lay in that persons arms and be like a baby! No one! But when you are infantilised this is what you do. This is why these mind-control, persuasive coercion, psychological influence and thought-reform are doing – breaking your mind-set down into that of a small child in order you think and perceive like a small child – and thus do as a child would. A child would sit on a grown-ups lap. An adult doesn’t do this. A child waits patiently for their mummy or daddy to hold them in a warm loving cuddle and so too do RealLove adherents wait all week for their little cuddle from daddy!

The subtle thought-reform techniques and mind-control is bouncing off the walls everywhere you look when it comes to RL. And sadly, no one really has any awareness this is happening to them as it is all perceived as being ‘normal’ – unless you know what to look for and spot what’s going on. You might continue to keep RL a big secret, because when you first spoke about it everyone questioned it – so you’ve decided to keep your dependency and addiction a secret form everyone. RL knows that people will do this – and it works to RL’s advantage. What a clever technique! You are now TRAPPED.

In RealLove every possible human emotion as ‘a call to be loved’ is taken to the literal extreme, and the only response to that call is to ‘love the person’ in, of course, the RealLove way. NOT to respond in any way or form in a spontaneous way – not an act of authentic, natural and genuine responsiveness coming directly from the heart. No. Not that type of ‘real’. Not the ‘real’ thing at all. You have to first make some assumptions, apply some RL labels, and then make a decision as to whether your RealLove radar tells you it is right to give your love or not. Or indeed, ‘if you choose to’. Nothing ‘real’ about RealLove, it is all about making a choice and a decision based on Greg Baer’s principles. First and foremost – you don’t have to be loving at all. You only get to be loving if you ‘choose’ to. While most love people unconditionally, without a thought or a delay in their actions, people doing RealLove tend to think first. Most people ‘know’ when to apply a loving response and when something needs a different sort of attention – like listening carefully. So therefore irritation, offence, annoyance, frustration and a whole load of other emotions that are trying to tell us something are overlooked in favour of just ‘loving’ the person. Basically, this means shutting down their natural response to share what is bothering them – to hold it in and shut up. This seems to be the main response “You just need love you poor thing. Here let me hug you”.

This locking down of a person’s natural need to work things through, figure things out and understand something is totally overlooked and shut down completely. A hug cures all and everything. This is Baer’s answer to most things in his video chats too! It is quite horrendous that he feels that children and young people just need a hug, when they are clearly craving or needing to be heard. This ‘holding in’ and not allowing people to express what needs to be expressed is damaging and one of the major causes of PTSD. But it is rife in RealLove. All you have to do is take away a person’s voice, leave things unresolved and let their identity gradually fade away. Feelings that need sorting out don’t just go away with a hug and all is better – they bubble and boil away somewhere, they fester and cause very deep and serious emotional problems over time – which will inevitably come to the surface one day, with very serious consequences. RealLove is probably the worst thing that anyone can do who already has mental health problems. However, if someone persists and pushes to get their emotional problems heard, in order that they be resolved and understood – after all we all need to have our voice heard – then that person will be accused by RealLove of ‘living in fear’ and that they are ‘empty’ and the cure for which is that they need to be loved (in the RealLove way of course – which means a hug, and being held like a baby with long-gaze staring). This is NOT going to make things better – this might relax a person and calm them down, but these actions do not solve the problem and only help to keep the person bottling things up for ‘fear’ of expressing themselves and/or ‘splashing’ all the poor loving people doing RealLove with all their negativity. These reactions to people’s normal human needs are unhealthy. Suppressing our feelings does not teach us anything. Different feelings and emotions are there to teach us something – something that we need to learn about our self or others. Yes, ALL feelings and emotions are either from a place of love or fear, we all know that, but we also need to understand that each feeling tells us something different and important.
So what have we got so far, after attending a few groups and reading a couple of RealLove books? We have a range of very well-known and utilised techniques from every small and large, known and unknown cult that ever existed. We have seen…

Love-bombing - holding/cradling – touching – long-gaze staring – hugging – double-binds – conversational hypnosis – suggestive light trance hypnosis (videos) – mental lock-down

And, we’ve only had the most minimal of contact with RealLove…………there’s more!!!

So, we’ve done a few groups and maybe read a book and seen a video on Youtube, shared phone numbers, got onto the Secret Facebook page and are now hooked in to a network of people who will take a phone call from you when a RealLove emergency arises. What is that you ask? Well, that is when you feel a bit low, sad, depressed, anxious or have demonstrated ‘getting and protecting’ behaviours and you now feel bad so you have to talk-out the situation that happened with someone. This is known in RL as ‘getting loved’. (Yep, a ‘getting’ behaviour – but of course it’s a RealLove behaviour so it’s not really a proper Getting behaviour really). Every time you get like this you ask around for someone to take your call and people will bend over backwards to make sure someone does indeed take your call and help you through your emergency. Of course this is not talking you out of suicide or potentially killing another person – just minor stresses that are made out by RL to be really big deals that NEED their help. ‘Getting Loved’ will of course involve masses of RealLove jargon and loaded language being used, more double-binds and distorted metaphors and analogies plus a whole lot of ‘Greg says….’. It’s a subtle and slow poaching process to gradually bring you over to RealLove thinking and to get you to engage more fully with RealLove. And believe me and all the others on this post and the other on this site who have lost loved ones to RealLove, if they start having calls (secretly or otherwise) they will be absorbed into RealLove very easily and sadly, very quickly for some people. They will be love-bombed and trapped within the culture of RealLove for sure, and RL don’t mind at all how long it will take to fully catch you in their net. They KNOW that the slow little by little approach works wonders to discreetly draw you in (mind control) – your trust, all your secrets, all your fears, all about your life and your situation, your feelings and emotions, your thoughts – everything! They don’t mind how long it takes before you eventually submit and surrender to the ‘INTERVENTION’ because they know that they already have you. So word of caution and warning – stop doing groups and cut off all contact and friendship with RealLove people immediately – this is the ONLY way to protect yourself from cult entrapment. If you are doing still doing groups after 2-3 then you are already in the snare, so it is only a matter of time before you are in the trap itself.

So, you are suppressed from sharing and shedding stress in your life with your loved ones and friends because now you are being ‘loved’ by RealLove– either in the form of a hug, or of being ‘held’, having ‘calls’ etc when you need support. You are probably ‘secretly’ giving your all to RL and withholding all your feelings from your family and friends, and most importantly your partner. RL are gradually creating the well-known cult phenomenon of the ‘Them-And-Us’ divide. This is where there is a stark and contrasting thought and belief system between the cult (Us) and the rest of the world (Them) – with the cult world becoming a sort of safe haven and the rest of the world, your normal life, a big bad ogre that scares you and splashes you with bad stuff every day. You now open up to submitting to being ‘held’ and get over the total embarrassment and stupidity of it as you are gradually coming over to RealLove thinking. Once you submit to this you will be ‘one of Them’ from that moment on. You will have crossed over so to speak. It will not be very long now before you will see this process ‘holding’ as the panacea for everything, and something you will become addicted to wanting more of, what you will wait all week for, and reject all other love in your life for.

When being ‘held’ and nursed like a baby you’ll most likely also receive what is known as a ‘LONG-GAZE STARE’. This is yet another known major well-known cult technique. So while Greg Baer and RealLove will keep saying that people don’t really look into each other’s eyes for long enough etc., they are right to a small degree, but not to the degree that they are utilising. Elsewhere on this site this technique is fully explained (as is the double-bind). What this technique does is to actually hold a long ‘stare’ into your eyes with absolutely no information-sharing between consciousnesses. This is not looking into your soul as a reciprocal action of caring and connection. What is going on here is the shutting down of the mind to think critically, to respond and reflect, to challenge and criticise. And most importantly for RL, your ability to realise what an utterly stupid thing you are submitting to. Long-gaze staring is off-putting, offensive and wrong in every way. The way I have seen this used on myself as well as others is just pathetic and achieves nothing useful whatsoever. We all know that if someone is in shock, distressed, traumatised or having a panic attack that the thing we need to do is to hold their shoulders gently and keep asking them repeatedly to look into your eyes, allowing the person to capture your gaze. This will in a very brief period of time cause the person to almost instantly calm down. We’ve all used it or seen it used with someone in shock. Not just on adults, but on children. And it works! It’s a well-documented phenomena. But it was devised specifically for these purposes, for the very specific reason of shutting the traumatised person’s brain down so that their blood pressure, heart rate and breathing slow down and thus bring them into a healthier state of mind and body. Nothing wrong within this context. However, cults use this technique differently and for more sinister reasons. They want to shut your mind down from questioning things, thinking critically, seeing reality, learning something, challenging the cult in any way or indeed just critically challenging anything, learning something, examining anything etc. Be this from free thought, from getting answers, from seeing the real truth, and about learning that they really are in a cult!

But don’t believe me! I’m just a complete lunatic who is ‘desperate to be loved’ and knows nothing. That’s what I got every time I challenged RealLove – I also retorted back asking that they stop doing that staring rubbish as well. Then I am told ‘you’ve got it all wrong’, ‘this stuff is really helping people’, ‘you don’t understand, this stuff is changing people’s lives’. I have only read a lot of books on cults, including those acclaimed on the subject, and done a lot of reading and research, that’s all! I wouldn’t make a claim like this ignorantly. It is what it is, despite those fooled by it and who are actually believing it is above-board and bonafide. However, I don’t believe the lies that cults tell and I can’t and won’t be manipulated. I will not let this happen to me again. Never. Thankfully, from personal experience I could figure things out for myself as so many techniques were known to me.

So, over time you read more and more books and come to believe what Greg Baer says. That he has got this RealLove stuff channelled from god. All the books were channelled. I’m sorry, but God does not signpost people to one person’s copyright/trademark registered organisation in almost every page. Channelled books DO NOT behave as a marketing tool for the delivery of a service that is a business venture of one man. Seriously!! There’s not a lot of meat in the books and they keep subtly convincing the reader to accept that RealLove and unconditional love are one and the same thing. They are not. RealLove is a set of principles devised by a former eye surgeon called Greg Baer. You enact RealLove entirely on Greg Baer’s principles. Principles ordinarily are designed as a set of rules or values that represent what is desirable for a group/organisation/community helping them to define or determine their perception of rightfulness or wrongfulness in a members’ actions. Thus principles govern our behaviours, thoughts, feelings, actions, attitudes and how they will be given, if given, to whom, when etc. Thus, RealLove principles completely and utterly obliterate any form of unconditional love, just by the nature of them being a set of governing principles. When compared to engaging in any unconditional loving response without the use of any set of principles we are left with that which is authentic, real, natural, spontaneous, genuine, true, actual. When responding in real terms and without a set of principles to abide by you are indeed providing real and genuine unconditional love. When you are responding in RealLove terms, using Baer’s principles to guide and follow you are not providing unconditional love at all – you are thinking before acting, and so in that instant it cannot be unconditional. Unconditional love is not thought about in advance. You will be made to feel total confusion between these concepts though – you will struggle if you stay with RL. You will learn that certain things are supposedly ‘loving’ but deep within your conscience you know they are not loving at all. You will end up doing a lot of very unhealthy things. BE WARNED. The following is Greg Baer’s vile claim:(I have made the distinction myself as I cannot link unconditional love and RL as one and the same thing)

“There is only one kind of love, however, that can fill us up, make us whole, and give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love or RealLove ©(Trademark, Registered)”

“It is unconditional love or RealLove ©(Trademark, Registered) that we all seek, and somehow we recognise that anything other than that kind of love isn’t really love at all – it’s an imitation of the real thing. Unconditional love – RealLove©(Trademark, Registered) – is so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves both a name and definition of its own”

Yes, this is the gradual manipulation of your mind, thoughts and belief system to wholly ‘believe’ that the real and genuine unconditional love of the universe has been magically discovered as being Greg Baer’s way, self-made laws and principles, and not really the love we all know. Basically, the only imitation love going on in RL is RealLove itself. True unconditional love does not run out and is natural and spontaneous, coming directly from the heart. Once you believe in this tripe you will come to go along with another of Baer’s fanciful ideas: and that is by giving love you run out of it and when you run out you are empty and afraid, so need to get loved by RL. Apparently, the real and genuine unconditional love of the world is what runs out and empties us – yet he also contradicts himself too. You will learn that when you define yourself as ‘empty and afraid’ that you cannot make your own choices and therefore need the help of RealLove to help you to get loved properly. The fact of the matter is that people, all of us, have times when we feel tired, stressed, have a headache, feel sore or in pain, anxious, lacking in energy, hungry etc. – and we might respond by being a bit grumpy or distant. That’s a choice – it does not imply we have no love left inside us to give. It means we have chosen to withhold our love – however, most people find it in their heart to overcome the feeling and be loving regardless of how out of sorts they feel. But this tripe is what you will believe!!

The next thing you might end up doing is signing up the weekly Greg Chat videos. I would rather die the death of a thousand cuts than hear another one of these! These videos use SUGGESTIVE HYPNOSIS and LIGHT TRANCE techniques through which to embed the RealLove ideology. You will slowly be convinced that you NEED to have a RealLove ‘intervention’. PLEASE DON’T – BE WARNED. You might end up signing in to the nightly conference calls where RL people share their dramas of the day, and of how rotten their thoughts and behaviours have been – all so that they can ‘be loved’ by each other, and all the badness made good again. What you really need is to talk it out sensibly with someone who truly knows you. But all RL people need to do in order to function is to hear that their bad actions, thoughts, behaviours, attitudes etc. are completely acceptable and that they are still loved, still adorable, loved to the bones, that they are enough, etc. etc. Just hearing that they are still loved is all they want to hear. No need to work through why they have been a rotten so-and-so today, or talking it through properly etc. I heard a lot of very bad advice during some phone calls that I sat in and heard. Shocking. There are people who need to be under the care of a mental health professional – seriously! And it is not alright to keep blaming everybody else, the rest of the world who are NOT doing RealLove for all their problems, actions, behaviours, feelings etc. This attitude borders on completely stupid. It’s not the RealLove person’s fault that they were nasty to everyone in their life today, no of course not! It’s the fault of everyone in their life NOT doing RealLove who are clearly ‘in pain’, ‘believing the lies’, ‘insane’ etc. and not their own self at all. Crazy!

Now RealLove, as with all cults, another highly distinguishing factor of cults, focuses on childhood. Most therapy DOES NOT focus on the childhood as the problem for everything in our lives. Certainly not in the UK. Therapy uses a lot of different techniques to help you work through things safely and be a whole and empowered person at the conclusion of therapy – if not well before then. RealLove, as with all the other major cults, wants to focus on the childhood events in your life that were negative. Nothing about the happy times as apparently they don’t exist. This is how all cults work. They, the cult, are going to save you and make it all better again. RealLove, as with other cults, focuses on getting your mind-set into a childish focus. All people are told, and this comes from Baer, taht they are only mentally and emotionally 2 or 3 years old. Actually, everybody in the world is. And only RealLove can fix you and make you all properly grown up. RealLove will give you what you missed out on – proper parental love. Once you are in this mind-set and believe it fully you will be able to be manipulated just like a real child of that age. You will want huggies and holds, you will want to be like a baby, you will want to sit on Greg’s lap (male or female) or another coach/daddy and tell them that you love them, call them daddy and hug them like a baby. You would not do this if you weren’t put into this mental state in the first place. You are put into this state slowly by attending groups, watching videos, reading books, listening in on conference calls and engaging with RealLove people. If you keep this up, you too will be sitting on a daddy’s lap and saying you love them! You will reject your own parents and family, distance all your friends and even break up your marriage/relationship. You will do as you are told to do – sorry suggested to do – because your mind-set has changed without your permission. But more disturbingly because you have various things now implanted into your mind that you didn’t know were put there.

The most obvious alteration of beliefs is the planting of the idea that every thing you are doing in your life, every RealLove suggestion, is YOUR OWN IDEA and not theirs. Listen in on a group, a call, a video, and you will hear the words “YOU GET TO CHOOSE” or “WE GET TO CHOOSE” added to most ideas, concepts, advice, suggestions etc. You will hear it over and over and over. But hey, I wasn’t allowing myself to be pulled in so maybe that’s why I picked up on it more than others who seem quite oblivious to it. That idea that you yourself are choosing everything that is happening in your life, even doing RealLove, is supplanted there. Not one person goes against whatever is suggested, where these words are attached. There are many other suggestions – but this is the most obvious. So not only do you have a childlike mind-set which is exploitable, but your mind has been manipulated to the point of exploiting your ability to form your own decisions. If people in RealLove had done any form of mental health and psychological therapy they might notice more what is going on around them, but they haven’t and Greg Baer clearly emphasises that professional psychological help does not work and is useless – because apparently it didn’t work for him, he of course cured himself with RealLove. Of course, Greg’s story is very flawed and reading several of his books and seeing him on video it does become clear that he demonstrates the typcial psychopathic and narcissistic tendencies that all other cult leaders past and present display. Many of the people who worked closely with him in the early years of RealLove have left him and state that RL has steered in the wrong direction. Very clearly IT IS NOT LIFE COACHING. That is a very different thing. Despite my asking on several occasions where all the healthy healed people were it turns out that there aren’t any. They are all still doing RealLove, and probably will be for life (unless they see the light and get out) because it is a cult and Greg Baer needs a lot of children to worship him and give him their money for this magic ‘unconditional love’ which he is the ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD WHO POSSESSES.

And there’s more…………… If you are this far in, there is very little hope of you getting out, especially if you have been keeping your connection to RealLove a secret from all the people worried that it was a cult you were getting yourself into. You will have no one to help you see the light if you have cut everyone off and out of your life. This is what cults do. Once you cut everyone off, cults can move in and pull you further and further in to their web because you have no one in your life to stop this from happening. PLEASE DON’T ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET THIS FAR.

So, if you have someone in your family that has tried RealLove and you have convinced them to stop, and they say that they have. Follow it up regularly, to check that they aren’t still engaged. Arrange things on group night so that you KNOW that they are not attending the group. Call them up during the telephone conference times. Keep trying to ensure that they have not just gone off and continued anyway, secretly. Find a way of having deep meaningful conversations, heart-to-hearts with them and really help them with what is troubling them in their life. ANYTHING is better than them hooking up with a cult organisation – especially this one. People on this site can attest this!!!

.....and there's just a little bit more.....

obligatory cheeriness? perfect teeth? what Mormons have you been talking to? I know all sorts of Mormons with bad teeth and are grumpy. There's no foundation to this claim.

I know my last three posts about what happens as people become more pulled into RealLove were long one’s, but I wanted to share as many of the angles I could, so that people could begin to see and/or realise how they, or someone they know of, might be, or are being pulled into RealLove or another cult. It really is all the little details that collectively show what something really is, as very often when we look at something ‘in general’ or overall (the sum) we don’t see that there is anything to be concerned about. Yet when we see the details (the parts), that’s when we really start to see what something really is. So, what else shows us in the clear of the day, why and how RealLove © Trademark, Registered is a cult? Here goes:-

People don’t just get involved with a Guru – they become absorbed into the entire social scene and dynamics that condenses and revolves around the Guru, in this case Greg Baer and his RealLove. Given time, as explained in the last three parts of this post, a person continuing to be involved with RealLove©Trademark Registered, will eventually be lost to their family and friends – for good. The person will be pulled into a culture of such total and blind commitment to the idea and practice of leading a whole new life through totally embracing the demi-God/Guru Greg Baer’s vision of ‘RealLove’. That devotion will mean that there can be NO deviation from it, no life outside of his RealLove principles. In fact this is something unthinkable – fearful even. So how, do you ask, does a seemingly rational and well-rounded person become so enthralled in following a leader, so much so that they end up dismissing entirely the reality of the world itself (the non-RealLove world/them) to follow one man’s vision (RealLove/us)? At some point it will all crash down them and everyone else involved in the cult – maybe not all at once (like the compound communes of the past), but one by one until all of them can see that there really was no paradise, no wonderful fear-free life, no road to healing, no perfect unconditionally loving existence. Without the Guru, Greg Baer’s words and guidance, his weekly video chats, his lap to sit on etc. there is no meaning for them to withdraw from the temptations of the big, bad, scary, mean, fearful, frightening world which is why they are reminded every week that RealLove is the best thing for them and that they should feel sorry for and pity all who are not doing or in RealLove as those people are just ‘in pain’, ‘believing the lies’ or ‘insane’. People once enthralled into full submission to RealLove, believe they are living on an island on unconditional love in a universe of hostility all around them. Everything outside of RealLove, and all people not ‘doing’ RealLove are perceived as hostile. While the RL adherent may not say this directly to anyone’s face or aloud in any way – they DO think it, and think it often!! While you are impassioning them to leave RL and trying to get them to see sense, they will just remain quiet while in their head they are feeling sorry for you and forgiving your hostile ways (your non-belief). [This is quite similar in some respects to JW’s, who most of the time merely ‘tolerate’ the damned to hell non-believers].

Without Guru Greg Baer there is very little substance to RealLove. However, what I can see has happened is that modern technology has allowed him to create what is basically a ‘Virtual Reality Commune’. People think that by doing RealLove that it is life coaching – but you don’t ‘do’ life coaching, you get life coaching. You don’t worship your life coach, leave your spouse, disconnect from your family and friends on the advice of a life coach – and then totally absorb yourself in all the life coach has to say, and have only his/her other clients as your friends. That sounds odd and ridiculous – because life coaching does not work like this. Neither does Counselling or therapy work like this either. People doing RealLove also speak of themselves as being ‘in RealLove’ which is an odd thing to say about a supposed life coaching arrangement. In counselling, therapy and life coaching there is the legal requirement to confidentiality. Thus, clients do not need to meet or be put in touch with each other, and neither are they expected to hang-out and share their selves and their secrets on secret social media pages. But time and time again RealLove adherents will categorically state that RealLove is not a cult because it is not running as a commune or compound and because Greg Baer has printed books. Yet, RealLove is most definitely a ‘Virtual Cult Commune’ in every sense of the word. Everyone tunes into Guru Greg’s chat each week, and excitedly shares with each other what Greg spoke about and what they should now do blahblahblah. The groups bring members together, and the seminars and weekends bring people from farther afield together. The nightly telephone conference calls keep everyone under control with the same double-binds and cult loaded language spouted night after night – keeping anyone who begins to doubt, well and truly from leaving. Meanwhile, Guru Greg merely sits in his favourite armchair and doesn’t have to exert much energy to keep all his adherents under his control – all without having to leave home and lift a finger. Coaches and wise people do all the work, and he just reaps the profits and enjoys being idol-worshipped. None of the adherents have much of a ‘normal’ life anymore, so technology connecting them all, is all that they have to feel the sense of community and togetherness. People stuck in RealLove have lost all desire to determine their own future without Greg Baer’s and RealLove’s guidance. No one needs a church or a religion when you have a Guru like Greg Baer, for in his follower’s eyes he is ultimate truth, and whatever he says is right or wrong is right or wrong despite what you may personally feel otherwise. There is however, no group process in place as well as no collective worth. There is no debate, challenge or counter-opinions against anything Guru Baer says – the power is at the top and that is where it remains.

Upon reading several books on cults I can see very clearly how Greg Baer created his RealLove – just the same way as others. By creating a hotch-potch of various different beliefs all thrown together in exactly the same way as the founders of Mormonism, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Scientology, Lifespring, Universal Church (moonies), est, Landmark and so on……. Baer studied religions and spiritual beliefs, and has taken bits of different religious and spiritual concepts and woven them in to his RL (obviously, using LDS methods quite extensively) thus it’s not surprising that LDS ‘aligns’ with RealLove, or is it that RealLove was shaped by LDS maybe? He has studied (self-study) psychology and different therapy methods, as well as 12-step programs. He would most definitely have studied Joseph Smith and how he managed to captivate people into believing that god spoke to him – and may have been inspired by him. There are certainly a lot of correlations between the two. Having been a druggie himself, and knowing what this does to a human being he would be no stranger to how easy it is to build dependence, co-dependance and addiction in people – and of how easy it is to manipulate and control those who are addicted and dependant. No self-respecting, qualified and professionally registered life coach or therapist would ever consider the notion of having their clients or patients being dependant, reliant, co-dependant or addicted to them!! RealLove is a mix of many different things thrown together, and almost like a reverse-engineering process it works backwards from what the goal is to be achieved. The goal is control, domination, over others by way of worship, adulation and praise by them of him. He knows first-hand (as he was a drug addict himself) how drug dependency and addiction work and how malleable people become and so a system is devised based on all the behavioural changes necessary to create such – dependence, co-dependance, addiction, infantilisation – which are powerful tools in which to achieve the goals.

People can be fooled into switching off their bullshit radar and submitting to RealLove by all manner and means. One of which is to mock, shame and ridicule the questioner, the unbeliever who challenges the validity of RealLove and any other aspect about it that appears suspicious, by being hurtful or saying something demeaning. This could be telling you that your parents never loved you. Of course, anyone who had a great childhood would challenge this statement, stating that there are times in our childhood where we might not like what our parents do or say, but that is all part of growing up. If you respond with the slightest bit of annoyance, irritation, offence or anger at being told things that are not true this is followed by statements like “Wow! There you are, see, you really NEED RealLove”. The more you defend your stance the more that keep on with similar statements which belittle, make us feel ashamed about defending ourself etc. until we wobble in our own self-belief, identity etc. Don’t buy in to this tactic – it is a deliberate ploy to get you to react in this way in order to prove that RealLove is the magical antidote for your life. When they start to say things like this you can be assured that this is the start of them slowly and carefully winding in the invisible reel that is now in place and pulling you in – gradually stripping your sense of self-worth, self-esteem, self-identity, self-concept, self-confidence and self-belief along with all of your values, morals and principles. Everything in your whole world will be shook up, pulled apart and destroyed to the point that you then become totally and wholly reliant on RealLove to function emotionally – hence the advice to ‘immerse’ in RealLove doctrine, every day, 24/7, in every possible way (books, groups, courses, seminars, phone calls, conference calls, videos, video chats etc.) – in order to become a very different person at the end, an ‘infantilised zombie-clone’ dependent on RealLove and totally reliant on the ‘Virtual Cult Commune’ of RealLove. This is why it is important to find out about this cult as early on as possible, and help people to see the light and not get involved – as this will be the outcome if they don’t stop.

Guru Baer really knows how to manipulate people when they are asking questions that show people are averse to RealLove, not taken by it, and are questioning his doctrine, can see through it, are sceptical etc. And as with all narcissistic and psychopathic personalities any questioning of them is directed back to the questioner in a critical, demeaning, mocking and shaming way. He will not take any form of criticism. Further, there is never any real or genuine answer to anything asked either. Be aware of this – the more you stick around the more nasty it will get. The more weak or confused minds will not be able to speak up and challenge and so will be left confused, and very often accepting that they are the ‘stupid one’ for not getting stuff. This is especially so when RealLove adherents in a Group setting state that they themselves once said the same things, challenged things too, and were “just like you are now”, but amazingly they stuck with it and now their life is totally wonderful – and all because of RealLove. If the person being told this is in admiration of the person saying this or identifies with them, then they may be easily swayed and fooled to believe in RealLove. Reality Check = This ‘wonderful’ they talk of is without any family (as they have been rejected and pushed aside), without a partner (as they have been told to separate or divorce them), without any friends (as they have been told that they’ll be splashed by them) and work colleagues (they too are not good either) – all since their submission to RealLove. The only people in their life are those ‘in’ or ‘doing’ RealLove only. They are in fear of people outside of RealLove. Work that one out, as that does not seem to be wonderful. At this point it should be easy for any outsider to see that this looks and indeed is a cult. It does not look like a good thing at all. For me, I am reminded of a British Children’s television series from the 1970’s called ‘Children of the Stones’. It was a very scary program at the time, especially when people had been ‘converted’ and had lost their mind and personal identity, which was seen when people were transformed from being animated and normal to being vacant and over-happy, smiling constantly and saying ‘Happy Day’. RealLove reminded me of this show, and upon watching it recently I have no reason to change my mind.

One of the key things that RealLove claims to do is to ‘eliminate fear’ from our lives. From what I have seen, it cannot eliminate fear because it is a part of the human condition – wired into our consciousness for biological (human) and spiritual (soul) experience for life in general. Fear is a critical part of the polarity experience of life itself and is needed in many different ways. We can only but learn to acknowledge it and learn to control it mindful living, thinking and being. Yet, RealLove creates a whole new fear – fear of everybody not doing RealLove (which is most of the world, sadly). The worst thing that RealLove people can do is to engage with non-RealLove people, especially those who have questions, challenges or disagreements about it. Adherents are taught to walk away from any such situation where they may actually learn the truth about RealLove and exactly what they have got themselves into. By engaging with someone ‘against’ RealLove this is called going onto the ‘field of death’. They might actually learn something if they didn’t walk away, which is a clever ploy by Guru Baer to keep his adherents focused on him and his ideals. We all can, and would indeed walk away from a serious, angry, heated, vehement, angry, negative prolonged argument or row, and especially when people have got to the stage of name-calling and being downright nasty. But not just because people are seeking truth, and someone wants to help them understand that truth. That is just being stupid – as nobody learns anything. But maybe that is how it is supposed to be!

People fully immersed in RealLove change considerably. Those people on this thread and the other one know this only too well, what RealLove is capable of doing to people you love. You can notice a significant change because they will not be able to engage with anyone not doing RealLove at all – after they have rejected their spouse, family, friends and co-workers that is. They will rarely make any contact with people they once knew and who had a great part in their life. It will be as though they have passed on, disappeared almost. They will be unable to hold a conversation, and if they do it will ONLY be about RealLove and nothing else, or just RealLove proselytizing. They will look almost dead and without emotion in the behaviour and outlook – practically a zombie – the lights look as though they are on, but the electricity is cut off. And when someone is speaking, behaving and thinking the same as all the other RealLove adherents, then they have become a clone – if you see them with another RealLove adherent you’ll be able to notice this very clearly. I can only say that all I see are RealLove Zombie-Clones believing that the rest of the non-RealLove world is bad, negative, dangerous and full of fear. And the sad thing is that they don’t even realise they are being like this!

For family members, partners, friends etc. this is devastating to watch happen – unfolding week after week and you are unable to stop it or reach through to them. But as each person tries to reach in and help, they are in turn rejected too, until all people in their life eventually ‘leave them be’. They have made their choice – so it seems! But have they? Once all the people of the ‘old life’ and the ‘old you’ are pushed out and rejected the RealLove Zombie-Clone identity adopts its ‘new’ and ‘real’ ‘loving RealLove family’ as their true family. This is how cults work, but they will not see or believe this – because after all, they are not living on a compound or in a commune, and Greg Baer writes and publishes books, and is Mormon leader. However, from the RealLove perspective, once the person has pushed everyone in their life away (including their own children in some cases), they are much more easily controlled and manipulated. The ‘Them&Us’ indoctrination is finally sealed. They have their ‘Virtual Reality RealLove Cult Commune’, their Guru Greg Baer, other people in RL (who really know how to love people unconditionally, apparently) and they fully believe that they are being saved, helped, healed and are learning how to be happy. They are now GONE. Too late.


What the adherent does not realise when they have got to this stage is that they have become boxed-in. They are in a cube that is inescapable, trapped in RealLove ideology. What a dilemma.
Floor = RealLove Principles (the new life + fear of not being able to live these principles without the support of RealLove)
Ceiling = No RealLove Principles (fear of the old way of life, how things used to be, old behaviours)
Front Wall = Living Life the RealLove way in the Virtual Reality Commune (fear of not being happy if they don’t follow things through)
Back Wall = Life without the RealLove Virtual Reality Commune (fear of fear, fear of making mistakes, fear of not being loved)
Left Wall = RealLove perceived as unconditional love (fear not being loved or feeling loved again if they don’t do RealLove, submit, immerse, absorb it etc.)
Right Wall = Conditional love (fear that the rest of the world loves only conditionally and that unconditional love does not exist outside of RealLove)

It is only the world reliant upon the false and fake ‘imitation’ love called ‘RealLove © Trademark Registered’ that has love running out leaving people to feel psychologically ‘empty and afraid’. The true love of the universe does NOT do this. You purchase more and more RealLove when you get on empty, but there is no need to do this in real life – as love lasts and is eternal. Psychologically, RealLove adherents have their minds controlled and manipulated to believe that love runs out, when you give it to others. People go to a group session believing they are going to meet up with a group of people who will just be loving, kind and supportive to one another when in fact they are going to end up being a shadow of their self – in fear of loving running out, in fear of people, reliant on a virtual reality cult commune to sustain them, doing weird things that adults in their right mind just don’t do, cut themselves off from all the people and loved one’s in their life, and believing a whole load of tripe made up by a Guru figure who believes he channels from god, has been given the only source of love from god and is the sole and only person (organisation) to go to, to get properly loved. This is the reality of what RealLove © Trademark Registered does. And if you don’t join and submit to the whole thing – you will eventually, as they will keep working on you until you do. There are perverted men who know what is going on and have clocked they are using mind-control techniques etc. but turn a blind eye to it. Why? Because they love being touched and fondled and hugged and all that closeness with the women in the groups – as well as to lie in the arms of a female (mummy) and be held like a baby. Many perverted men, as well as many frustrated women waiting to be told when they are ‘good enough’ to start dating one day (obviously, they have to be ‘perfected’ by RealLove first, or should I mean ‘altered’). RealLove really is one helluva crazy world!!

Finally, if we want to be loving, any of us can do this at any time and in any circumstances as many times as we choose every single day. Being loving is a ‘selfless’ and ‘spontaneous’ act. RealLove on the other hand is NOT either of these things, but it does make people FORGET and IGNORE all the love they do have in their life, have had. They are so stuck in Guru Greg’s principles that they miss out on a multitude of acts of love everyday. But as one famous Guru once said “The individual cannot be sacrificed for anything” . I hope my story has helped in some small way.

There are those who dabble in RealLove and those who fully embrace it to the exclusion of everything else. There's a difference in how people's lives will unfold depending on which one you choose to follow.

If you just read the books, go to groups and listen in on the odd phone call or attend the odd seminar or weekend course you will just plod along and gradually either get bored with nothing much really changing or happening in your life, or you'll be happy to plod as you feel that you are getting enough from what you are doing. However, you won't be allowed to go on like this at your own leisure because there is no money in it for RealLove. So you'll be constantly pushed to have an intervention with Greg (or someone else if in UK/Europe) and be told that you are not taking RealLove seriously - or that you don't care enough for your self. What this implies is that unless you fully embrace and immerse yourself in the whole RealLove indoctrination process you'll not see any results. That's the implication - the reality is quite different (as many people are shocked to find out).

So if you sign up for the full deal you will have to have an intervention. You are lead to believe that this is just talking about yourself and your issues, but in actual fact its a whole lot more. Its not expected in any other form of therapeutic practice. Only cults want to know everything - because knowing everything means more control of you, knowing how you think and feel and function. Where to push your buttons, how to break you, how to lift you. How to manage you so that you stay a long-term, big spending customer.

The full deal is not how RealLove sells itself and is totally different to what you think you are going to get. Beware. In order for RealLove to work properly, we are told, you have to go back to your childhood, share everything about yourself (12-step program style truth telling as the basis) to your daddy and in groups (as well as any other RealLove event). You will not to stop looking into any other aspects of therapeutic help and assistance. No reading up on any other topics that might help you. No other groups or activities. No yoga, mindfulness, meditation, relaxation or other practices to relax you. No work on self-love. There has to be a strict and full immersion into RealLove and all things RealLove, all the time, day and night. RealLove will not work if you don't follow this advice. Of course it wont work - because you wont be mind-controlled that's why! You will be pushed and insulted to be made angry as part of RealLove helping you to heal (not that you will ever heal, you'll end up being far worse as a consequence of joining). You will have to get a daddy (coach) who will coach, guide, suggest, advise and tell you what to do. In fact, take over all your decisions and choices for you, write down what you need to say or do, how to act, what to believe, how to think...…


Part of this 'immersion' process is to read RealLove books, over and over to the exclusion of all others. Go to as many groups as you can. Listen in on nightly conference calls. Do the 12-month program, seminars, weekend courses etc. Just concentrate your whole life and all you do on RealLove activities only. Like they say "Or it wont work". And boy does this work or does this work!! WOW. This immersion, with interventions and a daddy controlling your life really does completely alter your mind and ability to run your own life. It will transform you - but not in the way you think it will. The immersion process has, as its best and most effective tool, the Greg-chat videos and recordings. Greg himself advises to listen to them while you sleep as they will be doing their work while you are completely asleep as much as awake and consciously listening. Of course, that is the nature of suggestive hypnosis - that it works without you realising it. The more you can listen and watch these every day (as many hours dedicated to this as possible) and night (as many nights as possible) the better - it is said. That is totally true! The more people do listen and watch, the more mind-controlled and manipulatable they become. You can see people change and alter right before your eyes.


So, for those who immerse like this, they will very soon 'get' RealLove and be a total mind-controlled-zombie who does as told, believes everything, and goes along with everything. For those who don't immerse they will not 'get' RealLove in the same way. These are what become the intolerable 'difficult' or 'needy' people who, so they are told, aren't trying hard enough, believing the lies, are in pain, need a daddy-Greg intervention (even if having had one or more previously). These are the people who think/believe they are doing RealLove to be coached into being a more loving person, to be a better man or woman at dating others and/or having a loving relationship with a significant other. These people want to know how they failed in relationships, what did they do wrong and how can they be better - which does not need a full on psychological profile or being regressed back to childhood by laying in the arms of a daddy/coach and being an adult baby. These people are sad, broken, depressed, lonely, frustrated and are desperate for some sort of help. But, by not immersing and being under mind-control they appear to be needy and difficult. They are not tolerated because RealLove is not actually about helping people who are in this situation at all - even though that's how they pitch their promotion of RealLove. RealLove heavily promotes the concept of "getting loved" and yet when these people seek this they are instead shunned, mocked and pushed away as being too difficult and not taking RealLove seriously etc. Eventually, if you don't immerse to the point of being controlled, RealLove loses patience with you and pushes you away altogether. But, if you are 'trying' and spending lots of money on things then they will tolerate you and let you go on as long as it takes to finally catch you.


Those who don't get it feel frustrated by this and end up with more issues because they feel that there is something wrong with them. This is not true at all, but they are nevertheless made to feel this way. These people do suffer a lot of psychological stress over time and find it hard to break free of RealLove, because they truly believe they are at fault and RealLove holds all the answers to their becoming a loving person. But what those who don't get it, don't realise, is that they are not under mind-control - which is the reason why they are not getting it. They may not be able to afford the high costs and commitment to all that is expected of them. The time needed to immerse in everything properly will mean either not working and having the time, or indeed, immersing for all the hours you can after work until late at night and all weekend. Money is a problem for others - they just don't have the money that is expected. However, some are in debt for years after having had their intervention and signing up to everything - forfeiting a social life and other productive activities in favour of the utopia that RealLove purports to offer but which never delivers.


What of those that totally immerse? Simple. They get fully under mind control and totally enthralled in RealLove and Greg Baer to the exclusion of everything else in their life. That's what immersion does. You will see the person immersing change very quickly and radically. Their attitude, behaviours, personality. What they say. What they do. Some people look empty and like a zombie. Others just go on and on and on about RealLove and can't seem to talk about or engage in any other type of discussion. Others change quite dramatically - their personality can go from cheerful, carefree and happy to tense, distracted, short-tempered, angry, curt, dismissive. You cannot get through to them on any level any more. The person you knew has gone, has been suppressed, distorted, manipulated. It is very difficult for people when they eventually leave a cult - and RealLove is no different - to just go back to being theirself again, as their mind has been so distorted. It takes time for them to rediscover who they are and begin healing - not only what has happened to them from the experience of mind-control, but a whole load of new issues on top of the original stuff that drew them to RealLove for help in the first place!


RealLove immersion - or mind-control - causes the person to drink the Koolaid because that's what their RealLove daddy tells them to do. And they do.


Divorce your partner/drink the koolaid - done!

Reject your parents/drink the koolaid - done!

Stop all contact with your family and extended family/drink the koolaid - done!

Don't socialise with friends and coworkers anymore/drink the koolaid - done!

Forget your children/drink the koolaid - done!

Donate money to RealLove/drink the koolaid - done!

Take your clothes off while having a hold/drink the koolaid - done!

Do everything RealLove despite the costs because if you are serious you will find the money or get a loan/drink the koolaid - done!

Start dating this person we have selected for you/drink the koolaid - done!

We advise that you should marry this person we told you to date/drink the koolaid - done!

Go find a religion as RealLove will only work properly when you do. We advise Mormonism as it most closely aligns with Reallove/drink the koolaid - done!

Do as you are told to do. Follow these written instructions as to what to say/drink the koolaid - done!

You must wait for 2 years before you will be ready to date/drink the koolaid - done!

You are not ready to keep dating, you must stop until we tell you when to start again and who with/drink the koolaid - done!

Don't engage with anyone who challenges RealLove or who appears to criticise as they are splashing you and will damage you by taking you on the field of death. Assertiveness is disallowed. An assertive person is taking you on the field of death so stop and walk away / drink the koolaid - done!

You cannot have a relationship with anyone who not doing RealLove. We will not help you unless the other person joins RealLove too/drink the koolaid - done!

And so it goes..... And so it goes..... And so it goes....

Why do RealLove adherents drink the koolaid?

Because daddy-Greg or one of his personally trained and accredited daddies (or mummies) says so. They always tell the truth, so why would you question them or go against what they say to do. They know what is best for you more than you do. They love you more than anybody and only have your best interests at heart (more than anyone else in the whole world). Because they are your adoptive parents and therefore know what is right for you. Because your RL daddy would not let any harm come to you. Because your RL daddy would not give you the wrong advice. Your RealLove daddy loves you. Therefore, there is no need whatsoever to question or judge what the daddy tells you to do. Ever.

This means, for example, that when you are coerced into becoming a Mormon, you need not do any research. You don't need to find out anything about it, its history, its practices, hierarchy or even if it resonates or repulses you. That's because daddy has made the decision and all you have to do is follow what you have been told to do. (aka drink the koolaid)

The same too for divorcing or splitting up, rejecting people, dating, marrying, parenting, everything. You might be told to do things that instantly do not rest well on your conscious - but you'll do them anyway and you will be led to believe that you are 'being loving' by doing so.

So, beware, behind the façade of promotional materials that tease with ideals of helping you to be coached towards being a better and more loving person, and despite it looking and appearing to be bonafide and enticing - it's a scam. A scam, because you are not being coached - you are being mind-controlled and made to drink the koolaid without question. AND YOU WILL. RealLove is not coaching. It's a cult with the explicit intention of recruiting as many people as possible into Mormonism. And if you are of another faith, atheist or don't join you can be guaranteed that you will be living, thinking and behaving as a practicing Mormon anyway - because that is what the RealLove way is. The hope is that RealLove will dominate your life to such a degree that you will transition to Mormonism and convert at some time, and it doesn't matter when.

The people de-toxing from their involvement in RealLove cannot believe that they willingly and unquestioningly kept drinking the koolaid.

When you are so enthralled and under mind-control you don't know it. You think everyone else has the problem until you wake up one day and realise what's happened and try to piece together your fractured life and rebuild all the bridges you were told to burn and break. The disbelief at what you have done will be overwhelming. It will take a long time to find yourself and get a life again, make your own decisions and choices and feel happy. But you can't do this until the psychological cold turkey from the mind altering mind-control practices is over and your mind calm and settled again and able to function.

Is RealLove a cult? Sure is. Is there good stuff to learn? Sure is. However, the good stuff is the carrot that pulls you in with hope and anticipation, but once you bite into it you'll be drinking the koolaid.

Please don’t join any group that attributes itself to “real love”. If you need help with personal/emotional problems or marriage advice or any relationship problems whatsoever,do your background checks and make sure they are qualified to help you with what you are struggling with. Check their background and their credentials before parting with any money because I can assure you, you will lose more than that,you could end up losing EVEEYTHING,like I did.

Did I have personal problems? Yes. Was there a problem within my marriage? Yes. Was it unsolvable? No,it wasn’t as I have found out since,there are many other things I could of done and it’s not until you are really “out” of real love (which wasn’t real at all) that you realise how stupid and foolish you have been. It brings up such grief and shame about it and the huge loss of everything,that you go into shock, which I think is why people are now too afraid to post anything or they are still believing all the BS and that everyone else is wrong,just like I did. I was hardcore at the start and would of bet my life on it. Of course,I will just be labelled a “victim” for posting this.

It causes complete dependancy,which is actively encouraged at the start. It doesn’t help you grow,it leaves you open and vulnerable and exposed and nothing ever gets healed.

Everyone is so really kind and supportive and caring in a way you might not of felt before (like me) and that becomes very attractive when you are at a low point and are desperate for some answers and want to save your marriage.

The end result for me is that I wasted 5yrs of my life,threw away a 23yr marriage and divorced my husband,which I totally regret.THe loss for me feels huge.my ex was concerned about the amount of money I was spending and the level of dependancy,but by that time,I refused to listen to him as I had bought into the whole thing by then and totally blindly trusted pete and Ben) I left my kids with their father who are now really confused because when I left,I was told (yes told) to tell them that I couldn’t find a level of happiness (which I was never gonna find) An ex that hates me,because of the awful advice I took to block him from contacting me, along with most of his family I suspect,and I’m totally distraught and suicidal and have to go on meds,reluctantly.

I lost all my friendships as for years I was travelllng up and down the country throwing myself into everything it had to offer. Seems I was a very good and compliant client as I now see it,desperate to get “held” most of the time,which if you look into the scientific research about chemicals released in the body (oxytocin/dopamine etc) these are bonding hormones which give you a “chemical high” and helps you to trust that person because it gives you a sense of “safety”. This is so wrong and this is why and how we have been emotionally left,like a child grieving for that connection,and low and behold,the “rug” was ripped from my feet at the end of last year when RL collapsed and being told by pete “it doesn’t work. It only works if you practice it in families”. Great eh? Divorced and left my family for nothing. My whole life gone.

Thousands of pounds spent,all the time I really couldn’t see what I was doing and when I would often break down in tears,i was either told “you are chosing to be a victim” or “your not trusting and remembering all the love you have been given” and of course,it was always my fault so I blamed myself.

I formed a huge emotional bond with pete Uglow and Ben leppier who became my “daddies” and had interventions with both of them and when I questioned Ben about me “feeling in love” with him,(as I was worried) he said “you are meant to be in love with your daddy”. He told me how much he loved me and that I was his daughter and I believed him. I was worried at one stage he would leave and he said he took his choice to love me completely seriously and that wouldn’t happen as I was his adopted daughter now. It all sounds so crazy making now as he is a married man with 3 kids and I know I’m not the only one this happened too. I felt very loved by him and still crave that connection.

I have found out that “real love Europe” is still filtering people to greg via kimberley who runs it. Obviously Greg’s right hand man now and why wouldn’t she be? She is addicted to him.

The other thing I was lead to was Mormonism which I have now left because it’s just another cult having done extensive research.

I’m probably going to get slated but I don’t care anymore. They have helped ruin my life. None of it was real. It was all “ego” driven behind a facade of having their own agenda because at the end of the day, it WAS a buisiness for them and brought them in quite a tidy sum,while systematically deconstructing peoples “egos”. Dam dangerous and totally unethical and absolutely nothing to do with being “divinely” inspired by god or led by the spirit.