How REAL LOVE works (part 3)
Date: March 08, 2018 06:05AM
So, we’ve done a few groups and maybe read a book and seen a video on Youtube, shared phone numbers, got onto the Secret Facebook page and are now hooked in to a network of people who will take a phone call from you when a RealLove emergency arises. What is that you ask? Well, that is when you feel a bit low, sad, depressed, anxious or have demonstrated ‘getting and protecting’ behaviours and you now feel bad so you have to talk-out the situation that happened with someone. This is known in RL as ‘getting loved’. (Yep, a ‘getting’ behaviour – but of course it’s a RealLove behaviour so it’s not really a proper Getting behaviour really). Every time you get like this you ask around for someone to take your call and people will bend over backwards to make sure someone does indeed take your call and help you through your emergency. Of course this is not talking you out of suicide or potentially killing another person – just minor stresses that are made out by RL to be really big deals that NEED their help. ‘Getting Loved’ will of course involve masses of RealLove jargon and loaded language being used, more double-binds and distorted metaphors and analogies plus a whole lot of ‘Greg says….’. It’s a subtle and slow poaching process to gradually bring you over to RealLove thinking and to get you to engage more fully with RealLove. And believe me and all the others on this post and the other on this site who have lost loved ones to RealLove, if they start having calls (secretly or otherwise) they will be absorbed into RealLove very easily and sadly, very quickly for some people. They will be love-bombed and trapped within the culture of RealLove for sure, and RL don’t mind at all how long it will take to fully catch you in their net. They KNOW that the slow little by little approach works wonders to discreetly draw you in (mind control) – your trust, all your secrets, all your fears, all about your life and your situation, your feelings and emotions, your thoughts – everything! They don’t mind how long it takes before you eventually submit and surrender to the ‘INTERVENTION’ because they know that they already have you. So word of caution and warning – stop doing groups and cut off all contact and friendship with RealLove people immediately – this is the ONLY way to protect yourself from cult entrapment. If you are doing still doing groups after 2-3 then you are already in the snare, so it is only a matter of time before you are in the trap itself.
So, you are suppressed from sharing and shedding stress in your life with your loved ones and friends because now you are being ‘loved’ by RealLove– either in the form of a hug, or of being ‘held’, having ‘calls’ etc when you need support. You are probably ‘secretly’ giving your all to RL and withholding all your feelings from your family and friends, and most importantly your partner. RL are gradually creating the well-known cult phenomenon of the ‘Them-And-Us’ divide. This is where there is a stark and contrasting thought and belief system between the cult (Us) and the rest of the world (Them) – with the cult world becoming a sort of safe haven and the rest of the world, your normal life, a big bad ogre that scares you and splashes you with bad stuff every day. You now open up to submitting to being ‘held’ and get over the total embarrassment and stupidity of it as you are gradually coming over to RealLove thinking. Once you submit to this you will be ‘one of Them’ from that moment on. You will have crossed over so to speak. It will not be very long now before you will see this process ‘holding’ as the panacea for everything, and something you will become addicted to wanting more of, what you will wait all week for, and reject all other love in your life for.
When being ‘held’ and nursed like a baby you’ll most likely also receive what is known as a ‘LONG-GAZE STARE’. This is yet another known major well-known cult technique. So while Greg Baer and RealLove will keep saying that people don’t really look into each other’s eyes for long enough etc., they are right to a small degree, but not to the degree that they are utilising. Elsewhere on this site this technique is fully explained (as is the double-bind). What this technique does is to actually hold a long ‘stare’ into your eyes with absolutely no information-sharing between consciousnesses. This is not looking into your soul as a reciprocal action of caring and connection. What is going on here is the shutting down of the mind to think critically, to respond and reflect, to challenge and criticise. And most importantly for RL, your ability to realise what an utterly stupid thing you are submitting to. Long-gaze staring is off-putting, offensive and wrong in every way. The way I have seen this used on myself as well as others is just pathetic and achieves nothing useful whatsoever. We all know that if someone is in shock, distressed, traumatised or having a panic attack that the thing we need to do is to hold their shoulders gently and keep asking them repeatedly to look into your eyes, allowing the person to capture your gaze. This will in a very brief period of time cause the person to almost instantly calm down. We’ve all used it or seen it used with someone in shock. Not just on adults, but on children. And it works! It’s a well-documented phenomena. But it was devised specifically for these purposes, for the very specific reason of shutting the traumatised person’s brain down so that their blood pressure, heart rate and breathing slow down and thus bring them into a healthier state of mind and body. Nothing wrong within this context. However, cults use this technique differently and for more sinister reasons. They want to shut your mind down from questioning things, thinking critically, seeing reality, learning something, challenging the cult in any way or indeed just critically challenging anything, learning something, examining anything etc. Be this from free thought, from getting answers, from seeing the real truth, and about learning that they really are in a cult!
But don’t believe me! I’m just a complete lunatic who is ‘desperate to be loved’ and knows nothing. That’s what I got every time I challenged RealLove – I also retorted back asking that they stop doing that staring rubbish as well. Then I am told ‘you’ve got it all wrong’, ‘this stuff is really helping people’, ‘you don’t understand, this stuff is changing people’s lives’. I have only read a lot of books on cults, including those acclaimed on the subject, and done a lot of reading and research, that’s all! I wouldn’t make a claim like this ignorantly. It is what it is, despite those fooled by it and who are actually believing it is above-board and bonafide. However, I don’t believe the lies that cults tell and I can’t and won’t be manipulated. I will not let this happen to me again. Never. Thankfully, from personal experience I could figure things out for myself as so many techniques were known to me.
So, over time you read more and more books and come to believe what Greg Baer says. That he has got this RealLove stuff channelled from god. All the books were channelled. I’m sorry, but God does not signpost people to one person’s copyright/trademark registered organisation in almost every page. Channelled books DO NOT behave as a marketing tool for the delivery of a service that is a business venture of one man. Seriously!! There’s not a lot of meat in the books and they keep subtly convincing the reader to accept that RealLove and unconditional love are one and the same thing. They are not. RealLove is a set of principles devised by a former eye surgeon called Greg Baer. You enact RealLove entirely on Greg Baer’s principles. Principles ordinarily are designed as a set of rules or values that represent what is desirable for a group/organisation/community helping them to define or determine their perception of rightfulness or wrongfulness in a members’ actions. Thus principles govern our behaviours, thoughts, feelings, actions, attitudes and how they will be given, if given, to whom, when etc. Thus, RealLove principles completely and utterly obliterate any form of unconditional love, just by the nature of them being a set of governing principles. When compared to engaging in any unconditional loving response without the use of any set of principles we are left with that which is authentic, real, natural, spontaneous, genuine, true, actual. When responding in real terms and without a set of principles to abide by you are indeed providing real and genuine unconditional love. When you are responding in RealLove terms, using Baer’s principles to guide and follow you are not providing unconditional love at all – you are thinking before acting, and so in that instant it cannot be unconditional. Unconditional love is not thought about in advance. You will be made to feel total confusion between these concepts though – you will struggle if you stay with RL. You will learn that certain things are supposedly ‘loving’ but deep within your conscience you know they are not loving at all. You will end up doing a lot of very unhealthy things. BE WARNED. The following is Greg Baer’s vile claim:(I have made the distinction myself as I cannot link unconditional love and RL as one and the same thing)
“There is only one kind of love, however, that can fill us up, make us whole, and give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love or RealLove ©(Trademark, Registered)”
“It is unconditional love or RealLove ©(Trademark, Registered) that we all seek, and somehow we recognise that anything other than that kind of love isn’t really love at all – it’s an imitation of the real thing. Unconditional love – RealLove©(Trademark, Registered) – is so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves both a name and definition of its own”
Yes, this is the gradual manipulation of your mind, thoughts and belief system to wholly ‘believe’ that the real and genuine unconditional love of the universe has been magically discovered as being Greg Baer’s way, self-made laws and principles, and not really the love we all know. Basically, the only imitation love going on in RL is RealLove itself. True unconditional love does not run out and is natural and spontaneous, coming directly from the heart. Once you believe in this tripe you will come to go along with another of Baer’s fanciful ideas: and that is by giving love you run out of it and when you run out you are empty and afraid, so need to get loved by RL. Apparently, the real and genuine unconditional love of the world is what runs out and empties us – yet he also contradicts himself too. You will learn that when you define yourself as ‘empty and afraid’ that you cannot make your own choices and therefore need the help of RealLove to help you to get loved properly. The fact of the matter is that people, all of us, have times when we feel tired, stressed, have a headache, feel sore or in pain, anxious, lacking in energy, hungry etc. – and we might respond by being a bit grumpy or distant. That’s a choice – it does not imply we have no love left inside us to give. It means we have chosen to withhold our love – however, most people find it in their heart to overcome the feeling and be loving regardless of how out of sorts they feel. But this tripe is what you will believe!!
The next thing you might end up doing is signing up the weekly Greg Chat videos. I would rather die the death of a thousand cuts than hear another one of these! These videos use SUGGESTIVE HYPNOSIS and LIGHT TRANCE techniques through which to embed the RealLove ideology. You will slowly be convinced that you NEED to have a RealLove ‘intervention’. PLEASE DON’T – BE WARNED. You might end up signing in to the nightly conference calls where RL people share their dramas of the day, and of how rotten their thoughts and behaviours have been – all so that they can ‘be loved’ by each other, and all the badness made good again. What you really need is to talk it out sensibly with someone who truly knows you. But all RL people need to do in order to function is to hear that their bad actions, thoughts, behaviours, attitudes etc. are completely acceptable and that they are still loved, still adorable, loved to the bones, that they are enough, etc. etc. Just hearing that they are still loved is all they want to hear. No need to work through why they have been a rotten so-and-so today, or talking it through properly etc. I heard a lot of very bad advice during some phone calls that I sat in and heard. Shocking. There are people who need to be under the care of a mental health professional – seriously! And it is not alright to keep blaming everybody else, the rest of the world who are NOT doing RealLove for all their problems, actions, behaviours, feelings etc. This attitude borders on completely stupid. It’s not the RealLove person’s fault that they were nasty to everyone in their life today, no of course not! It’s the fault of everyone in their life NOT doing RealLove who are clearly ‘in pain’, ‘believing the lies’, ‘insane’ etc. and not their own self at all. Crazy!
Now RealLove, as with all cults, another highly distinguishing factor of cults, focuses on childhood. Most therapy DOES NOT focus on the childhood as the problem for everything in our lives. Certainly not in the UK. Therapy uses a lot of different techniques to help you work through things safely and be a whole and empowered person at the conclusion of therapy – if not well before then. RealLove, as with all the other major cults, wants to focus on the childhood events in your life that were negative. Nothing about the happy times as apparently they don’t exist. This is how all cults work. They, the cult, are going to save you and make it all better again. RealLove, as with other cults, focuses on getting your mind-set into a childish focus. All people are told, and this comes from Baer, taht they are only mentally and emotionally 2 or 3 years old. Actually, everybody in the world is. And only RealLove can fix you and make you all properly grown up. RealLove will give you what you missed out on – proper parental love. Once you are in this mind-set and believe it fully you will be able to be manipulated just like a real child of that age. You will want huggies and holds, you will want to be like a baby, you will want to sit on Greg’s lap (male or female) or another coach/daddy and tell them that you love them, call them daddy and hug them like a baby. You would not do this if you weren’t put into this mental state in the first place. You are put into this state slowly by attending groups, watching videos, reading books, listening in on conference calls and engaging with RealLove people. If you keep this up, you too will be sitting on a daddy’s lap and saying you love them! You will reject your own parents and family, distance all your friends and even break up your marriage/relationship. You will do as you are told to do – sorry suggested to do – because your mind-set has changed without your permission. But more disturbingly because you have various things now implanted into your mind that you didn’t know were put there.
The most obvious alteration of beliefs is the planting of the idea that every thing you are doing in your life, every RealLove suggestion, is YOUR OWN IDEA and not theirs. Listen in on a group, a call, a video, and you will hear the words “YOU GET TO CHOOSE” or “WE GET TO CHOOSE” added to most ideas, concepts, advice, suggestions etc. You will hear it over and over and over. But hey, I wasn’t allowing myself to be pulled in so maybe that’s why I picked up on it more than others who seem quite oblivious to it. That idea that you yourself are choosing everything that is happening in your life, even doing RealLove, is supplanted there. Not one person goes against whatever is suggested, where these words are attached. There are many other suggestions – but this is the most obvious. So not only do you have a childlike mind-set which is exploitable, but your mind has been manipulated to the point of exploiting your ability to form your own decisions. If people in RealLove had done any form of mental health and psychological therapy they might notice more what is going on around them, but they haven’t and Greg Baer clearly emphasises that professional psychological help does not work and is useless – because apparently it didn’t work for him, he of course cured himself with RealLove. Of course, Greg’s story is very flawed and reading several of his books and seeing him on video it does become clear that he demonstrates the typcial psychopathic and narcissistic tendencies that all other cult leaders past and present display. Many of the people who worked closely with him in the early years of RealLove have left him and state that RL has steered in the wrong direction. Very clearly IT IS NOT LIFE COACHING. That is a very different thing. Despite my asking on several occasions where all the healthy healed people were it turns out that there aren’t any. They are all still doing RealLove, and probably will be for life (unless they see the light and get out) because it is a cult and Greg Baer needs a lot of children to worship him and give him their money for this magic ‘unconditional love’ which he is the ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD WHO POSSESSES.
And there’s more…………… If you are this far in, there is very little hope of you getting out, especially if you have been keeping your connection to RealLove a secret from all the people worried that it was a cult you were getting yourself into. You will have no one to help you see the light if you have cut everyone off and out of your life. This is what cults do. Once you cut everyone off, cults can move in and pull you further and further in to their web because you have no one in your life to stop this from happening. PLEASE DON’T ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET THIS FAR.
So, if you have someone in your family that has tried RealLove and you have convinced them to stop, and they say that they have. Follow it up regularly, to check that they aren’t still engaged. Arrange things on group night so that you KNOW that they are not attending the group. Call them up during the telephone conference times. Keep trying to ensure that they have not just gone off and continued anyway, secretly. Find a way of having deep meaningful conversations, heart-to-hearts with them and really help them with what is troubling them in their life. ANYTHING is better than them hooking up with a cult organisation – especially this one. People on this site can attest this!!!
.....and there's just a little bit more.....