A church w/ serious problems
Posted by:
EsBravo32
()
Date: October 05, 2008 02:28PM
I wanted to share a quick story with you people about a church that I attended for 12 years.
When my family moved to the Chicagoland area, we searched for a church in the particular denomination of our choice. After attending a couple churches in the area, we settled on one in Bolingbrook, IL. The name of the church, at that time was Living Water Assemblies of God. The church had just hired a new pastor, a young man, married, with 2 kids. Over the years we all grew attached to the church, so much so, that after a few years the senior pastor asked my dad to come on as a staff member. The church had grown by leaps and bounds since we had began attending; the congregation was only around 200 people in the beginning. The church hit an awesome revival period, next thing we knew, we were attending a church w/ 1000+ every Sunday morning. Naturally the church needed to build a new building, by this time my father had been on staff for a few years, he was the "executive" pastor. All other staff members (except the senior pastor) answered to him. He enjoyed his job so very much, the church was growing, and their new building was being built across town from where they were at that time.
After the new building was erected, they had a big "to-do", everyone was stoked, and the church had finally achieved the goal that everyone believed God had planned for them. This new building was very expensive, they built it hoping that it would draw more people, and it did. My father decided to take some time off after everything was settled w/ the new building; all of the staff members had put in very long hours, all of them needed some time for themselves, and their families. The staff members decided that everyone would take off 2 weeks, first my dad, then the music pastor, and so on...
My dad was enjoying his time away from the business of the church. It was at this time that things took a wrong turn. It turns out, that a few years before, when my sister was working as the church receptionist; the senior pastor had approached her in regards to having an affair. According to my sister, it started out innocent enough, but before long, he was finding reasons to be alone with her, he began to touch her in her private areas (over her clothing, of course). You've got to know my sister, she had just divorced her husband when all of this happened. She rebuffed him many times, but he was very persistent. Finally, she put her foot down and told him to knock it off. He did, they both agreed to keep it between them, as Kara was engaged again, ready to get married.
Years pass, 6 to be exact. Kara got married, ended up having 3 awesome kids; he husband is a very successful business man. He was also a new Christian at the time, so when Kara told him what "his" pastor did, he agreed to keep it a secret (due to the upcoming wedding). It turns out, this secret had been tormenting her all those years, her psychologist told her that she HAD to tell our dad. He reminded her that the senior pastor had been living a lie all these years, because unlike Kara, he never confessed it to anyone, not even his wife. So Kara made the difficult decision to tell Dad. As you can imagine, dad was stunned, his first thought was that Kara had greatly "misread" Pastor Ken's motives; he could not imagine that his boss could have wanted to have an affair with his daughter. Kara's intentions were that this information stopped w/ my dad, she wanted dad just to let it go, but there was NO WAY my dad would do this.
A week or so before Kara went to my dad, she had requested a meeting w/ Pastor Ken, she wanted to discuss with him what had happened so many years ago. She did forgive him for his advances, but she felt that he should confess it to someone close to him. He refused. This is why Kara went to my dad. Pastor Ken was refusing to take accountability for his actions.
So, as you can imagine, the shit hit the fan. Pastor Ken actually came over to my parents’ house to discuss these events with my dad; he told my dad that he did not want to tell his wife; this did not go over to well with my dad. He told Pastor Ken that if he did not go to his wife, then my dad would have to tell her. My dad truly was not out for vengeance, he did not know how many other women this might have happened to, if Ken is willing to "mess around" with Kara, who's to say it did not happen more.
Pastor Ken's wife went on the defensive, blaming Kara for being the "aggressor", even though Pastor Ken admitted that she was the one who said "stop". It turns out that one of Pastor Ken's kids actually saw him touch Kara's boobs while Kara was over at their house, babysitting their kids. So, for all these years, Ken had to silence his kid, only God knows how he did that.
My father was asked to not come back to the church, he figured that would happen. What upset him the most was that the church board failed to enact any discipline, as a matter a fact, they attacked my dad, saying that Dad just wanted to destroy Ken's reputation. I can say, this was the last thing that my dad wanted to do. He was just amazed that Pastor Ken could have hidden this all those years, working with my dad on a daily basis, knowing that he tried to have an affair with Kara.
When this information came out, the church was devastated, naturally. The sad thing is that Pastor Ken had built up such a "holy" reputation; it all came crumbling down at once. The members found out that the board "fired" my dad, this did not go over well at all. They saw this as a crappy attempt to protect the pastor.
My dad took all of this pretty well, over all. All of this happened about 2 years ago. About 7 months ago we found out that the churches’ book keeper (the worship arts wife) had been stealing money over a 5 year period. She stole more than $100,000 dollars from the church. She had been stocking it away in a separate account for the longest time.
Today, the church is a shadow of its former self, all of the paid staff have left, only Pastor Ken, and his wife remain. Their numbers have dwindled, and the "giving" has almost come to a halt.
In a way I feel sorry for Pastor Ken and his wife, they built such an "empire", only to watch is crumble before their eyes.
Love God and Serve Others
Erik
When my family moved to the Chicagoland area, we searched for a church in the particular denomination of our choice. After attending a couple churches in the area, we settled on one in Bolingbrook, IL. The name of the church, at that time was Living Water Assemblies of God. The church had just hired a new pastor, a young man, married, with 2 kids. Over the years we all grew attached to the church, so much so, that after a few years the senior pastor asked my dad to come on as a staff member. The church had grown by leaps and bounds since we had began attending; the congregation was only around 200 people in the beginning. The church hit an awesome revival period, next thing we knew, we were attending a church w/ 1000+ every Sunday morning. Naturally the church needed to build a new building, by this time my father had been on staff for a few years, he was the "executive" pastor. All other staff members (except the senior pastor) answered to him. He enjoyed his job so very much, the church was growing, and their new building was being built across town from where they were at that time.
After the new building was erected, they had a big "to-do", everyone was stoked, and the church had finally achieved the goal that everyone believed God had planned for them. This new building was very expensive, they built it hoping that it would draw more people, and it did. My father decided to take some time off after everything was settled w/ the new building; all of the staff members had put in very long hours, all of them needed some time for themselves, and their families. The staff members decided that everyone would take off 2 weeks, first my dad, then the music pastor, and so on...
My dad was enjoying his time away from the business of the church. It was at this time that things took a wrong turn. It turns out, that a few years before, when my sister was working as the church receptionist; the senior pastor had approached her in regards to having an affair. According to my sister, it started out innocent enough, but before long, he was finding reasons to be alone with her, he began to touch her in her private areas (over her clothing, of course). You've got to know my sister, she had just divorced her husband when all of this happened. She rebuffed him many times, but he was very persistent. Finally, she put her foot down and told him to knock it off. He did, they both agreed to keep it between them, as Kara was engaged again, ready to get married.
Years pass, 6 to be exact. Kara got married, ended up having 3 awesome kids; he husband is a very successful business man. He was also a new Christian at the time, so when Kara told him what "his" pastor did, he agreed to keep it a secret (due to the upcoming wedding). It turns out, this secret had been tormenting her all those years, her psychologist told her that she HAD to tell our dad. He reminded her that the senior pastor had been living a lie all these years, because unlike Kara, he never confessed it to anyone, not even his wife. So Kara made the difficult decision to tell Dad. As you can imagine, dad was stunned, his first thought was that Kara had greatly "misread" Pastor Ken's motives; he could not imagine that his boss could have wanted to have an affair with his daughter. Kara's intentions were that this information stopped w/ my dad, she wanted dad just to let it go, but there was NO WAY my dad would do this.
A week or so before Kara went to my dad, she had requested a meeting w/ Pastor Ken, she wanted to discuss with him what had happened so many years ago. She did forgive him for his advances, but she felt that he should confess it to someone close to him. He refused. This is why Kara went to my dad. Pastor Ken was refusing to take accountability for his actions.
So, as you can imagine, the shit hit the fan. Pastor Ken actually came over to my parents’ house to discuss these events with my dad; he told my dad that he did not want to tell his wife; this did not go over to well with my dad. He told Pastor Ken that if he did not go to his wife, then my dad would have to tell her. My dad truly was not out for vengeance, he did not know how many other women this might have happened to, if Ken is willing to "mess around" with Kara, who's to say it did not happen more.
Pastor Ken's wife went on the defensive, blaming Kara for being the "aggressor", even though Pastor Ken admitted that she was the one who said "stop". It turns out that one of Pastor Ken's kids actually saw him touch Kara's boobs while Kara was over at their house, babysitting their kids. So, for all these years, Ken had to silence his kid, only God knows how he did that.
My father was asked to not come back to the church, he figured that would happen. What upset him the most was that the church board failed to enact any discipline, as a matter a fact, they attacked my dad, saying that Dad just wanted to destroy Ken's reputation. I can say, this was the last thing that my dad wanted to do. He was just amazed that Pastor Ken could have hidden this all those years, working with my dad on a daily basis, knowing that he tried to have an affair with Kara.
When this information came out, the church was devastated, naturally. The sad thing is that Pastor Ken had built up such a "holy" reputation; it all came crumbling down at once. The members found out that the board "fired" my dad, this did not go over well at all. They saw this as a crappy attempt to protect the pastor.
My dad took all of this pretty well, over all. All of this happened about 2 years ago. About 7 months ago we found out that the churches’ book keeper (the worship arts wife) had been stealing money over a 5 year period. She stole more than $100,000 dollars from the church. She had been stocking it away in a separate account for the longest time.
Today, the church is a shadow of its former self, all of the paid staff have left, only Pastor Ken, and his wife remain. Their numbers have dwindled, and the "giving" has almost come to a halt.
In a way I feel sorry for Pastor Ken and his wife, they built such an "empire", only to watch is crumble before their eyes.
Love God and Serve Others
Erik
Re: A church w/ serious problems
Posted by:
EsBravo32
()
Date: October 12, 2008 01:21PM
Have any of you had any problems w/ a church you've attended, or even a friend?
Love God and Serve Others
Erik
Love God and Serve Others
Erik
Re: A church w/ serious problems
Posted by:
TruthFree
()
Date: November 01, 2008 08:19PM
The pastors of a small church my wife attended when I first married her told us we needed to ask them (the husband and wife pastors) for forgiveness for giving into temptation because before we got married we gave into temptation. (I gave my virginity to my wife) They mentioned something in the Bible about how there was a Jewish military camp and someone kept treasure from a people they were forbidden to keep treasure from after defeating them. They said God judged the entire camp because of that.
Well, it was from that moment on that I felt that there were some forms of manipulation. I've studied cults off and on and I know there's intimidation, manipulation and domination. I am not saying these people are part of a cult, but the level of authority they seem to try to put out, makes me feel they could be consciously or subconsciously using tactics like this.
Anyhow, the use of the Biblical example was fine, and understood, but to apologize to the pastors? No, I only talk to God that way. To confess it publicly? I think that might be a form of embarrassment designed to intimidate someone into submission. Never ask someone to do it.
Anyhow, we never did do any of those things, we are both pretty headstrong, but left after a few more incidents.... by the way I am not one to church hop, I really like staying where I am at, serving God there, so take that into account when reading this.
Well, it was from that moment on that I felt that there were some forms of manipulation. I've studied cults off and on and I know there's intimidation, manipulation and domination. I am not saying these people are part of a cult, but the level of authority they seem to try to put out, makes me feel they could be consciously or subconsciously using tactics like this.
Anyhow, the use of the Biblical example was fine, and understood, but to apologize to the pastors? No, I only talk to God that way. To confess it publicly? I think that might be a form of embarrassment designed to intimidate someone into submission. Never ask someone to do it.
Anyhow, we never did do any of those things, we are both pretty headstrong, but left after a few more incidents.... by the way I am not one to church hop, I really like staying where I am at, serving God there, so take that into account when reading this.
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