Wow. I didn't realize I said something earlier that kinda gives my identity away....

I didn't know her before she married John. I didn't meet her until his death. She was very young when she met him, 21 or 22. Only six years older than his oldest son.

I believe that she was seeking light and knowledge and was/is a loving person who would probably have given the shoes off her feet to someone if they needed them. That's the type of person John sought.

Yes, he served a mission in Ireland. He didn't come home and right away see the "error of his ways". He didn't start turning into who he believed he was until five or six years after his first marriage. There is no known accident I am aware of but there is a story of how he broke his foot in a movie theater that is pretty comical. No lobotomy. I can't believe he would say that.

No, Jim is not as strong as John. Jim's wife Lori is though....

I don't know why the widow doesn't "wake up", other than Lori and Jim are strong and I believe fueled John's illness. I feel blame for that because my relationship catapulted him to them.

I don't have communication with them. I did for awhile after John's death but drifted away because I couldn't convince her to leave.
I have communication with others......

You said you were the black sheep of the family and she was the angel... so you are related?
If you want to write me a personal message... please feel free to do so.