I have a friend, who i loved dearly. our relationship, which was primarily on line because of distance, was a once in a lifetime thing. regular meetings only enhanced the depth of our love. however about 10 months ago, she invited me to join her in a chat room her friend used. I wasnt sure what to expect, not been given any notice about it, but was bemused to find myself in a BDSM chat room. now i thought this was highlly amusing, especially the names of the group, master this slave that. i tried to make a joke about this, but this was met by total horror and silence by the users & my friend. i asked why she went in the room, and she told me that she wasnt pestered so much by men online. over the last 10 months our relationship has deterioated, and a couple of months ago she finished with me to go with a man she had met in the room. in the depths of my despair, i investigated and found that this man was into BDSM practice, and told her, she denied vehemently that he was into BDSM at all, although her friend who intoduced her to the room has told me he is 'but not heavy'. i have been secretly going into this room to find answers, and i have to say that the language is desturbing to say the least. there are bizzare rituals for greeting people entering the room, as well as forming relationships, this aprt from some of the more disturbing chat which goes on. i know i am wrong to be spying on people like this, but ialso know that my friend was not into anything like this before she entered the room. i cant hellp feeling she has somhow been brainwashed into thinking the same way that they do, because at the moment she dosnt spend time online anywhere else.
my question is, can a cult be based on a group who all have the same attitudes to a certain goal, rather then a charismatic leader? is this a new thing which we may see on the net, where a group see somone who isnt part of there circle & entice them into it?.
i have searched the net for dangers of BDSM, and have only come up with applogists for it. am i wrong to think that this 'practice' is dangerous?

In my view, a cult can certainly be formed online. The idea of a cult is that a group or individual takes something true and twists it into something false. Anywhere there is communication, ideas are exchanged. To the undiscerning or naive there is no distinguishing between the two (truth and falsehood). A victim may have an idea that something is not quite right, but then dismiss it for lack of knowledge or for the greather want of promised love and acceptance. Those are very powerful pulls. I don't exactly know what this group is that you're talking about, but you did the right thing trying to dissuade your friend. That's all you can do. She may learn a very painful lesson before it's all over. Thankfully, if she does wake up and smell the coffee, there are resources like this website (God Bless RR) to help in her recovery. If your friend has turned a deaf ear to you, then you need to detach so you don't get co-dependant and let this ruin your life. You can pray for her when you think of her, if you believe in prayer. But this is her choice and her problem ultimately. I'm very sorry you are going through this.

[board.culteducation.com]

It may not be the topic (BDSM) thats the problem but that chat rooms are a way to feel connected without the complexity or messiness of real, face to face relationships. In cyberspace, people can construct masks, fictional identities, hide behind them.

If someone really gets obsessed with this stuff their social skills can wither or (in the case of young persona) fail to develop.

Best wishes for yourself and your friend. The other poster is right: its hard to do when you're in this kind of pain, but you have to keep your own balance in relation to this.

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Excellent Post!

I just recently left 2 intenet website recruiting online cults that hide its true leader who uses the website to recruit new members and maintain contact with those who share the same ideology around the world. I was terribly harassed by several men on the website who resented that their ideology in the black man being "GOD" didn't work on me.

This cult has set up a well disguised method by asking for donations online to maintain the website then uses your credit card information to run background checks on you in designing methods to attack your self-esteem and tailor the presentation of the doctrine to appeal to meet your particular preceived needs or they make up needs they feel you have and tell you that you should submit to their program to overcome the problems they feel that you have.

Any advice on how to stop cult harassment that has followed the victim off the website?

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walkingaway

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noggin
My question is, can a cult be based on a group who all have the same attitudes to a certain goal, rather then a charismatic leader?

I think they can be, based in my experience with cults. This is also a place the internet would excell: "charisma" doens't come across well in blongs and chat. However, philosophy and ideleogy, especially those distilled down to a succinct phrase or two, can be very effective. It's what my wife and I used to call "bumper sticker" philosophy and ideology.

Leaderless cults don't remain that way long, but I think it's certainly a way toward cult formation. And if the cult is cohesive enough, a leader really isn't necessary, since the entire group forms it's own culture of leadership and control.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

The best response would be to either contact the police or a good local attorney.