Dear Lone Flame:
You are very fortunate that you trusted what you knew to be true and removed yourself from that group while still young enough to resume your career path.
It is a very powerful and identity disruptive matter when a leader plays chess with the marriages and friendships within a group. It may be that some leaders live vicariously by controlling the sexual expression and relationship bonds of members--like a child playing with toys. In the guise of spiritual evolution, you are being used to entertain the leader, and that means being used as an object.
Dunno if this will be of any help, but there's a book about Balsamo Cagliostro, an 18th century magician/entrepreneur/healer that you might find interesting.
The book is entitled The Last Alchemist: Count Cagliostro Master of Magic in the Age of Reason
by Ian Mccalman
Cagliostro pursued the 18th century's equivalent of esoteric studies and taught some of his hand picked disciples that transgressing normal standards was necessary to advance on the path. He used his charm and his prior training as a monastic to persuade his young and beautiful wife to seduce other men and thus bring them into her husband's schemes.
It can sometimes help to find out that versions of this have been circulating for hundreds of years.