Hey everyone! I know, 1st post and I'm begging for help! I just don't know what to do!

Quick background:

my neighbor moves in about a year and 1/2 ago. I have MAYBE spoken to her 4-5 times since she has moved in. I have always had a weird feeling about her, so I kept my distance. She would do things like walk down the driveway as I'm parking my car and STAND there waiting for me to get out so she could talk to me. Or walk by my front door repeatedly till I said hello, leave me message after message about "wanting to get to know me"...things like that.

One night, (about 3 months ago) she catches me coming home from work. I nod and say hello (what can I do, I'm friggin trapped here) she says hi and then pulls this on me, "oh, I was wonderng, has your toilet been backing up lately?" (nice was to trap me into conversation, eh?)

So then after a while of idle chit-chat she starts talking about this program she's in and how wonderful it is and how it's changed her life, etc., and would I join her at one of these "personal development" meetings. She told me it was only 3 hours and all I had to do was sit and listen. I didn't have to talk, nothing. She made it seem interesting, so I figured what the hell, it's something to do (plus by now I just felt so sorry for her I couldn't say no).

Thank god my gut was telling me different! I did some research, found this awesome site (thank you, thank you, thank you), immediately emailed her and politely declined. I THOUGHT she got the hint. For a while she hasn't even called, come to my door, nothing. Until last week. Friday night I was backing out of the driveway as she was walking up, and I slowed down so I wouldn't hit her. As I slowed down, I raised my hand up to let her know, "I see you, I'm not gonna hit you." It wasn't even a wave!

I come home Saturday morning and there's an invitation to the Landmark Forum's "creating happiness" seminar TAPED TO MY FRONT DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She even WROTE on the front of it!!! "I'd love it if you would go with me on Weds night. Left you a voice mail message. Maybe we could go early for a light dinner ahead of time. It starts at 7pm. Please call me"

Her phone message was like 5 minuets long about how wonderful these meetings are, they have helped her so much, she wouldn't be living here if it wasn't for them, blah blah blah.

Now at this point I am FUMING! I have no interest whatsoever on getting to know her, hanging out, being her friend, NOTHING! She has freaked me out to the point that even this morning I wouldn't leave my house for work until I heard her leave her garage (it's RIGHT next to my front door, so she would have seen me leave and probably tried to corner me). I was 30 minutes late because of that.

So here's my question. HOW DO I GET HER TO LEAVE ME ALONE???

When I did my research, I read that they don't give up on recruiting new people. THAT scares me. I mean for me to be scared to leave the house because I don't want to run into her is ridiculous!

What should I do? Print out some of the articles and testimonials from this site, highlight the key points and cover HER front door?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! I just need to know how to make her back off!

Hi Ekb,

Your situation sounds exceedingly unpleasant. I'm so sorry you're going through it.

Unfortunately I don't have any personal experience with the scenario you describe, nor am I certain about how best to handle it. However, since no one has yet answered your plea for help (hopefully someone will come along and do that!), I'll take a stab at answering you.

Obviously this person is not respecting your personal boundaries. Far from it. If I were in your situation and ran into her again, I would be very FIRM and DIRECT in saying "NO, I am NOT interested in..." and if she keeps going, I'd repeat myself. Then I'd follow with, "I'm going now" and walk briskly away.

You don't need this person to like you. You want her to leave you alone.

That is my two cents, which you can take or leave. I do hope others will read your post and have helpful answers for you.

Best,
H

I agree. Firmly but politely explaining to her that it is not something you are interested in, but thanks for thinking of me, would be the way to go. You have to keep good relations with your neighbours but not get caught up in their trips. The neighbour is probably looking for a cult buddy but that will pass as the emotional shine wears off.

Hi Ekb,

I am not an expert on this situation at all but I wonder if mentioning your concerns to her might work, at least everything will be out there if you do that. It seems to be if her feelings are hurt she kinda asked for it. Her whole engagement with you seems rather creepy.

I hope you find a good resolution.

N

Hi, ekb

I think if she is a "true believer" in her self-help group you can't talk sense to her at this point. This is a half-tongue-in-cheek response, but how about you find her religious persuasion the next time she asks and then collect a bunch of Jehovah Witlesses magazines (easy to do, just stop by a 'meeting house' and get some from someone) and ask her if she has heard the word of God and how you and others from the org want to meet her and talk to her for hours...CASE CLOSED.

Thank you so much!

I agree! I don't need her to like me, nor do I care if she likes me. I just have to be strong and tell her to back off!

She's @ the forum seminar right now. I won't be surprised if I get some sort of call/email from her soon.

*sigh*

The best antidote to recruiting for Landmark, or anything else, is strong assertiveness, that escalates if they keep at it.

First you say, no thanks, not interested.
When they keep pushing it, (they will), then you get more assertive, and say that's it, not interested, and will never be interested, and to not bring it up again.

There is no point getting into a discussion about Landmark, as they will try to use that as leverage to bait the person in coming to a meeting. Same thing as Scientology.

Its like Amway, how they will never stop selling, even if you are friends and its midnite.
When it gets to that point, the only thing to say, if you ever bring up ______ again, I am not going to talk with you.

The problem with Landmarkians, is that they can start to get aggressive and critical. They will start to "Landmark" you, and start to criticize the person about something.
If that happens, all one can do is be very assertive, and tell them to stop it, as powerfully as one can.

That being said, this person sounds a bit strange, and she is obviously being programmed by Landmark to try and recruit everyone she knows.

It seems the only thing to tell the obnoxious Landmark recruiters is NO NO NO. And if they keep at it, to WARN them that if they keep doing it, you will never talk to them again, or just ignore them.

Of course, one has to use their best judgement on these issues. But don't go to the Landmark meeting, of course. Landmark is one of the most abusive and dangerous LGAT seminards on the planet.

there are many threads about Landmark in the LGAT area.
[forum.culteducation.com]

also, as citizens, everyone has the right to your own personal space, and peace of mind.
Once anyone tells a Landmark salesperson, which is what they are, NO NO NO, that's it.
They have to stop bothering you.

But if they won't, their email can be blocked, the person can be ignored, etc.

But in a serious case, if a Landmark person gets to the point of harrassing another person, with phone calls, letters taped to the door, etc, there are ways to stop that.
For advice on that, one would have to contact their local authorities to find out the details.

This person is probably under pressure to bring in as many new converts as possible.

You are not a person to her, just a potential trophy.

She may be under pressure.

There is no reasoning with her.

Anticult's advice is great.

Do not disclose the slightest frailty or misfortune in your life--

dont mention having a stubbed toe, or that your cat has puked on the carpet or that you're worried about the economy.

You can be hemorrhaging pints of blood from your rectum and a recruiter will use that to prove you need their program.

The more people they recruit the more prestige they get in the organization and the more harm they do while in their trance.

Being a courteous, reasonable attentive kind person will be used against you. These are not normal people.

They've been programmed to become recruiter robots and they are not part of the normal human social contract.

Tell her you will go to the police and hang up.

Also be aware that she is using her gender and sexuality to 'honey trap' you. If you went out to dinner with her, or if you went to one of her meetings, do you really think that this would result in a meaningful relationship? You could always get hold of a lot of CO$ flyers and tape those to her door. Better give her name and address to a local CO$ rep. That should get her out of your hair.