I pray this is all useful for someone, somewhere :
These links are two sources, identical wording, to a SD advertisement in the early daze of MOL (1991?) to come listen to the present incarnation of god, live in San Diego, speak at Howard Johnson's for a $10 admission fee:
[
www.skepticfiles.org]
[
www.holysmoke.org]
As the Miracle of Love is growing rapidly now, you may have more requests regarding this group. Discussing MOL directly only serves to alienate the members further. I learned this too late. However, having information about how skillfully the group manipulates the thought reform process may prove helpful for others to know what 'they are up against'. This information would have spared me a lot of frustration and pain in years past, with my exBF.
Information on thought reform:
[
www.csj.org]
[
www.culteducation.com]
One of the big draws to MOL, for my ex, was their music. MOL arranges special music mixes to work people up and then for a cool down period. I've heard many of their CDs.. copies are provided to participants. He played their CDs in his car, at home, while exercising etc. All of their CDs are excellent musical mixes, with a dubbed -in repetitive background of electronic percussion. It is known that repetitive drumming will cause a hypnotic effect. It doesn't matter what the actual musical piece is playing, there is the same hypnotic repetitive rhythm behind it. Obviously, this supports a person to return to the"Intensive" experience at any time. We've all had the experience of hearing an old song, along with flashes of memory and emotion. Neurochemistry and emotions are a fascinating study! Attendees / Devotees are taught to listen to the music and lose themselves in the music (e.g. dissociate).
My ex used to say that the love in that room (of the Intensive) was the greatest Love you can ever feel. Of course, Serotonin surges (the body's natural opiates) ARE real!! He often hugged people, when we ran into them in downtown, etc, just a little too long for normal social comfort (really odd for me to comment on inappropriate hugging - I'm Italian & we hug / kiss our friends all the time - his MOL hugging was really too much)
When I brought my ex to various social functions in my life, upon leaving, he nearly always stated w/ incredulity "Those people really love you!".. Originally I took it that he was implying that I was somehow unlovable. I eventually realized that he was shocked that there could be real human love / connection outside of the Miracle of Love. sad.
On a number of occasions with me, my ex was a smooth liar. This was possibly the most chilling of all for myself. When we attended (non-MOL) therapy, he calmly & charmingly lied about things he'd said to me (big issues!), in the presence of the nonMOL therapist. My head reeled. When called on it later, the MOL member admitted to lying, and would then say to me "But think, what is it about YOU that caused me to lie?" That was a common MOL method : "What is it about you that caused..........?" To get people to second-guess themselves. It was crazy making.
Everything is turned against the questioning outsider. Yet, the MoL member is only applying the methods that are used on him/her. Once, when methodically tearing me to shreds, with a calm voice. I asked my former partner "Why do you do this to me?" He responded "Because I love you." I since learned that the psychological manipulations and intense criticisms are what is done to the MoL members by the leaders. (this was at the end of the relationship, by the way, I did not stick around for much of the obvious abuse)
Over time, communication only takes place w/ in the MoL group. Their lingo takes over, as well as their sworn shared confidences, thereby excluding the ability for 'true connection' to outsiders. The devout write weekly summaries of their feelings and details of their lives, that are emailed cc'd to many others. This further depletes the ability to connect to others outside the group, and also enhances the group control, connection, and sense of deep sharing with one another. Also useful for blackmail, according to stories of another friend, a former MOL member.
Despite pressures, to join MOL, attend sessions, attend an orgy, I never did. My MOLer said he was monogamous w/ me throughout our relationship. I've since learned that was another lie. There was/ is a lot of expressing unlimited (non monogamous) love in MOL, for those who are inclined. Such invovlement is not forced to my knowledge.
MOL encourages people to wallow in 'feelings'. Mostly holding onto the pains of one's life.. that enables one to them experience God’s love the most strongly. By going really deeply into their pain, they are taught they can then break free of the pain to come Home to God.
Remember, as a child when you cried your eyes out and then felt such tremendous release eventually? That same surge of brain chemistry from exhaustive crying and dwelling on pain is what is encouraged in MoL meditations. Then there is great joy and 'release', freedom to revel in love with one another.
I believe in trying to help me, or maybe in trying to connect better w/ me, my ex would ask me to discuss painful things from my background, or my greatest fear, etc. I would do so, but I didn't crumble in tears. That made no sense to him.
Questions such as “What’s the most hurtful things you father ever said to you?” or “What is your greatest fear?” He often said to me "You haven't done your work. I've done my work. Until you do your work, we cannot move forward in this relationship" (this AFTER we had already planned a life together, and I'd already rearranged my work, family and home around marriage plans... crazy making....). This was much more intense than someone having 'cold feet'. It was both bizarre, incredibly painful and sad to observe his personality change as he become increasingly involved with the group. I did the best I could to support him thinking for himself, but I failed.
He even talked about feeling that he was being torn into two.... 2 yrs later I now understand it's the effect of this manipulation that he genuinely believed was there to 'help him'.
MOL spends a lot of time dwelling on pains and neglects from childhood, etc. Keeping people feeling panged and unforgiving of things that happened when they were 2yrs. old etc. Yet they teach that the only way to get beyond this stuff to do one's work through the Intensive and GMP. people do the intensive repeatedly .... it's an addiction to endogenous
endorphins (the body's natural opiates that are produced from the LGAT environment for 6 days). There is a conscious effort to keep people in a childlike dependency to 'god'... gourasana, and therefore to Kalindi who is the living mouthpiece of "G"
In addition to throbbing dancing for hours to rap music, with light shows, and screaming in ecstacy for God, there are then times of quiet prayerful meditations.
At other times, the Intensive will have particpants chant childlike nursery rhymes about Kalindi, saying the Lord's Prayer in unison some thirty times while standing at attention, playing silly games in the Intensive, after exhausing hours and little sleep, help to revive a juvenile dependency in the participants. They are told is so they will feel open and receptive to God's energy.
My ex had been w/ MOL for many years. He was on 24-hr call for assigned new graduates to call him about issues that came up for them post-Intensive. e.g. reintegrating into their work life, objections / concerns their other loved ones have this new MOL involvement, etc. he was very smooth at parroting the party-line about responding to these concerns (both toward me, and in coaching others)
I was also often accused of being "too intellectual", as spirituality comes from the heart, not the head. I believe that comes from MOL. He told me that I was wrong to say that my head and heart work together.
He was convinced that Gourasana IS god. There is no doubt about the experiences that he'd had. (serotonin rush IS real!!) I was often told that I was wrong about my own feelings /experiences because psychic so-and-so (Shirley McClain’s psychic) or The Lady says otherwise.
My ex is a high level executive. MOL inspired him to work on a food product line to generate income for MOL. What a brilliant way to tie up his time.. using the skills he already has 'to serve a higher purpose. he was very excited about this food product line from Miracle of Love.
per a professional experienced with MOL recoveries, MOL feeds the sense of exclusivity and quality to make the wealthy feel comfortable and cared for. This allows them to focus on their work at the Intensive, and not be distracted by bodily needs, nor contact w/ their life outside the Intensive. Also, by targeting the wealthy, there would be less questions about donations. This also fosters celebrity, wealth, endorsement of MOL's Mission, much as Tom Cruise is displayed for celebrity endorsement of Scientology.
I've recently learned that MOL is now also targeting young adults and youth, 'lending them the $ for the Intensive'. The TM movement originally experienced their explosive growth through targeting vulnerable college students in the sixties and seventies. These young adults in MOL are called "The Second Generation".
Miracle of Love places a lot of emphasis on beautiful surroundings to enhance growth toward god, beautiful clothing, having your closet and kitchen cabinets perfectly organized is very important for spiritual purposes. A person's spiritual state can be judged by the state of organization of their closets. One could even hire a professional organizer from the MOL to come in and organize the home including the labeling of drawers and cabinets. This is all to free the mind so one can be more in touch with “G” (Gourasana/ God). Yet, despite the deemed liberation, there was a real 'keep up with the Jones' attitude about keeping the car detailed, refrigerator organized and closet clutter free - in an extreme sense.
Once after work, my ex phoned me, to tell me he was having dinner w/ a MOLer "She is the heiress of the Proctor and Gamble fortune, but she's walked away from all that". I responded "If she's walked away from all that, then why is it the only thing you've told me about her?" I imagined they were planning their donations.
A former member of MOL's business and funding team told me that the Proctor girls specifically approach the wealthy members or participants who feel guilty about their wealth, helping them to alleviate their guilt through donating to the higher Mission of MOL.
My ex is a major financial contributor to the MOL. and his professional position provides a degree of respectability for the organization. Out of respect for him, I will spare his name or position. Ironically, early in our relationship, he had told me, “The Miracle of Love is the only group that does not care about my professional or financial standing for my total acceptance.”
Naturally, a lot of pressure on him to recruit others. He was always happy when someone from his company, e.g. a store manager or other, attended the Intensive. It must have really put him in an awkward situation, that I would not attend.
As the relationship ending, he switched to therapist/coaching w/in the Miracle of Love for himself, both Marcia and Racole. I wouldn't attend a MOL therapist w/ him, would only agree to couples therapy w/ a nonMOL therapist. Naturally, my presence in his life would be a threat to the MOLs financial support. (Silly/blind/naive me did not recognize all this until 2 yrs afterwards!).
Besides MOL teaches that attachment to a monogamous relationship would be a worldly Illusory attachment - and prevent one from coming Home to God.
An MOL coach:
[
dragonflyvillage.com]
The MOL coaches help members to understand how outsiders are not 'doing their work', are not spiritually focused, pain in the heart from a relationship is really the pain he feeling by being distracted from the true spiritual journey, the call to home (god). Thus, anyone from outside of MoL would be a threat to the MoL members mission to God.
MOLers do community service by visiting nursing homes. In retrospect, I wonder if they are trying to recruit the vulnerable elderly to access their $$.
The meditation program is called Gourasana Meditation Practice (GMP). There is also a GMP Workshop, which is a separate financial /business entity from the Miracle of Love. One can buy an elaborate set of tapes to guide one through doing the GMP at home. It is also called "The Meditation for this Age"
My ex knew that I was raised in another cult, and my parents still involved. He kept telling me how MOL is different from that group. He could not hear when I'd explained the similar dynamics. He told me how much more effective was the GMP, and the bliss and love from the Intensive was greater than anything ever experienced in other groups. He wanted so much to share this with me. It’s a shame that I had not done my ‘homework’ about exit counseling, etc, until after the relationship was over.
By discussing my concerns directly, I only pushed him further away, and he withheld communicating with me (that really helps a relationship!) I now understand this is common with cult members ,and that exit counseling and strategizing must be done very differently.
Oh well…. i blew it there.... too bad...
Trying to involve his family's support about my concerns was a failure. The family response was "He draws a lot of strength from his involvement with the group in Miracle of Love" His family did not see what I saw. The family believed I was only after his money (wrong!). MOL is after his money, and they won.
The most painful experience of my life was watching this man sucked into the group's control and "guidance", influencing everything in his life from how he interacted with his family, children, business decisions, home decor, dressing and vacations. Yet, to the outside he appeared calm, collected, and successful.
In his sparsely decorated bedroom (expensive home), there is a large framed print of "Gourasana and the heavenly host of light beings" (the blue toned image that can be seen on the MOL web site), as well as framed photos of their 'trinity' (my term), Gourasana, Kalindi and the Lady. Purposely positioned, so that the first thing one sees upon awakening are these images -- the reminder to stay God focused. he also began his day going the GMP, dancing etc at home (w/ head phones, so his teenagers would not hear). In his bathroom is a small print of Kalindi dancing naked outdoors.
He repeatedly told me that he's not "a follower", but that to ultimately come home to God, one must eventually fully devote themselves to Kalindi.
I hope this helps others w/ loved ones in MOL. My ex repeatedly broke up & then wanted to continue seeing each other --- now I realize it was the conflict between the manipulation he experienced and himself. I'd finally said "enough!" awhile ago- preservation of my own sanity & family became my priority. I couldn't battle the experts (MoL's coercion) alone.
I last saw my ex a few months ago. He told me how he is still in such pain and unhappy through our breakup. He'll be attending the Intensive again in September. I no longer discussed my concerns about his cult, and instead just emphasized that I'll always feel a deep and abiding love for him, grateful for his generosity and the many lessons that he provided for me. We live our lives from differing foundations, and we make our decisions differently. He kept saying to me "I remember everything you ever said to me. I love you more than you know. No one can take your place in my heart". His definition of "love" had become very different from my defintion of that word. I had assured that I never had any business commenting upon his life choices, but should have just accepted the differences, and stayed apart much earlier.
This commentary is NOT a critique of any individual MOL members. Only revealing my 2nd-hand experience of the lifestyles of those who've been subjected to MOL's skilled and "loving" coercion.
Like members of any cult, they are good people and well intentioned. MoL members are sincere believers in this "Path to God".
MOL ultimately is a scam that offers some beneficial life principles in the front end, and conducts a 'bait and switch' to those who are more psycholgically or emotionally vulnerable. MoL exists to benefit the leaders, through preventing the members from forming meaning individuality outside of MOL's strict definitions of an 'accurate god conscious lifestyle'.
I hope this helps with interventions for others.
If you're not already married or related to the new MOL member... then I suggest, for your own sanity - Avoid the mind games, and the pain as you watch him sucked to emotional oblivion - Turn around and run!
If you ARE already related to the MoL member, then please contact a professional for a cult intervention - before it's too late.