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My work differs from that of many theorists of gender difference
in that I emphasize the basic similarities between the sexes as well
as their differences. I hope that by naming some of the similarities
and differences, my work will not only make the journey easier and
less painful for men and women, but improve the communication
between them.

Shirley Luthman, along with other New Age thinkers such as Ger-
ald G. Jampolsky (Love Is Letting Go of Fear) 9 and W. Brugh Joy
(Joy's Wary), 10 helped me understand that in many ways we choose
the world we live in. In writing this book, I realized that each of
the archetypes carries with it a way of seeing the world. The external
world tends to oblige us by reinforcing our beliefs about it. For
example, people who see themselves as victims get victimized. Fur-
ther, even when the world does not mirror us, we see only those
aspects of the world that fit our current scripts, unless, that is, we
are developmentally ready to move on.

I have reservations, however, about some New Age thinking, such
as that found in books like Richard Bach's Illusions.

The external world exists and is not totally in a single individual's control. It is
one thing to believe that we have total responsibility for our lives
and at the soul level choose the events of our lives, and quite another
to see everything external to us as illusory. It is critical to developing

into a responsible human to see that other people exist, as do poverty,
sickness, and suffering.

Further, I fear that some New Age thinking
encourages people to believe they can skip their journeys and live
returned to Eden without completing critical developmental tasks

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132 / THE HERO WITHIN

"Ask and Ye Shall Receive"

In Collections, Shirley Luthman ponders the question of what she
would do if she discovered she had a brain tumor.

She would be quite shaken up, obviously. Nonetheless, while allowing those feel-
ings, she maintains that she would not do anything until she could
focus inward and get clear enough to understand what was going on.

Had her being decided that it was time to die? Or, if not, what was
the tumor trying to tell her? Only when she was clear about where
she was going would she decide what to do. That might mean de-
ciding it was time to die. It might mean finding some alternative
treatment.

Fundamental to her approach is a strong belief that at some level
of our beings, we choose what happens to us which includes choos-
ing our illnesses and our own deaths. We make these choices, she
says, not out of masochism, but because they will teach us what we
need to learn.

It is, therefore, important to honor everything that
happens to us as a way of honoring our choices as the teachers of
needed lessons.

Now, the Orphan cannot hear this because for her, choice means
blame: If I choose to be a battered woman, that means I am to blame
for my own suffering. But to the Magician blame is irrelevant, and
the search for a culprit is a useless diversion. The useful questions
are not "who is to blame?" but "what can I learn from this experi-
ence?" and "given the wisdom I have gained from it, what do I want
to choose now?"

Looking back from the vantage point of the Magician, a woman
may recognize that she had long had a batterer in her own head,
telling her she was too fat, too selfish, too pushy. By getting into a
situation in which she is physically or emotionally battered by some-
one else, she finally comes to the point where she says, "Enough: I
may be bad, but I am not bad enough to deserve this kind of treat-
ment." So she finds help, gets out of the relationship, and eventually
works on her self-esteem to the point where she does not spend so
much of her time at the mercy of her internal batterer. Although the
external situation was painful, it produced a crisis that forced on her
the opportunity to opt for growth, change, and eventually less pain
in her life. In that way, attracting a battering relationship in the long
run brought her health.

In an autobiographical chapter, "[My Own Journey New Life,"
in Energy and Personal Power, Luthman tells about her pain when
she lost her husband. They had had a deep and fulfilling relationship,
and when he died she was grief stricken.

In spite of everything else she believed about life and how we choose what happens to us, she felt herself to be a victim.

Later, she confronts her own belief that "on a deep level of my consciousness I may have known I was marrying a man who was going to die and leave me, even though I had no cognitive awareness of such a possibility." Then she opens up to
ask herself why she would do that; she gets two answers:

I reached a depth with my husband on an energy-consciousness level in
which I felt one with him without losing my own identity and sense of
self. ... If our relationship had continued to expand in that depth and in-
tensity, I would have attached my ability to have such an experience to him
and to that relationship instead of to me. What I have experienced since
then has taught me that I create the form into which someone comes along
who fits me on the level I am capable of experiencing. My ability to be
alive, intense, and to relate deeply is connected to me and not dependent
on a particular person or place, on anything external to me.

Magic is based upon a synchronicity of the macro- and micro-
world. Synchronicity is a word coined by Carl Jung that means
"meaningful coincidences" or acausal connections.

As the Warrior learns the lessons of causality, the Magician learns about synchron-
icity. You know those times when you go to a bookstore and just
the book you needed (but had never heard of) practically falls into
your hand? Or when you run into just the person you need, seemingly
coincidentally? Actually, many truly miraculous "coincidences" have
happened in my life, but I will share here a very ordinary, everyday
example of a seemingly accidental fortuitous event.

While contemplating leaving a relationship, I took a walk early in
the morning and was reminding myself of something I had told oth-
ers, but often did not folly believe myself. That is, like money,
wealth, and time, love is not scarce. If we open up to allow life,
we can open up to an abundance of health, prosperity, time, and
love. As I walked along thinking that but really feeling quite lonely
and fearful that I always would be alone, a man walked up and
chatted with me for about a minute and then left. In that instant I
realized that, while I certainly did not want that particular man to
stick around, his affable presence had given me exactly what I needed
in that moment. In doing so, it had made real to me what my need
was telling me but the rest of me was resisting: I would always have
the relationship I needed. I would not need to hold on to an inap-
propriate one out of fear of being alone.

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Subject: Don't Quit Your Day Job Dancers Upcoming Concerts July 12/13
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PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
June 19, 1996


THE DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB DANCERS PLAY IT AGAIN


San Francisco, CA ----The Don't Quit Your Day Job Dancers open their eight
season, PLAY IT AGAIN, Friday, July 12,1996 at the Palace of Fine Arts, San
Francisco, CA. After seven consecutive sold out seasons, the troupe is readying
for a retrospective featuring past show stoppers. PLAY IT AGAIN delivers the
best-of-the-best performed by both original cast members as well as new cast
members.

Four premieres featuring Caravan, a gypsy folk tale with music from
Cirque Du Soleil's Alegria and St. James Infirmary, a surreal jazz-tap ballet
set in New Orleans will debut. Encompassing everything from duets to large
ensembles, dance styles range from jazz, to ballroom, to tap, to belly dancing.
As always, Choreographer Doree Susanne Clark creates constant excitement,
keeping audiences dazzled and fulfilled.


PLAY IT AGAIN runs two evenings, opening with a Special Gala performance on
Friday, July 12 at 8:00 pm, continuing on Saturday, July 13 at 8 pm. Tickets
are on sale and may be purchased by calling (415) 331-8041. Tickets for the
Special Friday Gala opening are $50, with $15 tickets also available for Friday
night's show. All Saturday night seats are $15. Early ticket purchases are
encouraged as the Don't Quit Your Day Job Dancers have sold out every show for
the past seven seasons two weeks prior to opening night.


In just six short years, led by founder and choreographer (name omitted),
the troupe has grown from the original 20 members to 130 strong. Working by
day, dancing by night, the Don't Quit Your Day Job Dancers bring to the stage
something that is absolutely unique and always thrilling. Consisting of
programmers, accountants, carpenters, chefs, secretaries, the diversity of the
company is rivaled only by the diversity of the music they perform to. With
choreography by Doree Susanne Clark, libretto by Shirley Luthman, stage
direction by Robert Ross, production by Diana Hunter-Bossart and Matthew Royce,
and over 600 costumes by Luthman and Lane Driscoll, PLAY IT AGAIN promises to
be a breathless evening.
--